Aufsatz – die neusten Beiträge

Wie findet ihr diese Geschichte (Englisch)?

Ich habe diese Kurzgeschichte für den Englisch-Unterricht geschrieben. Das Thema müsst ihr nicht unbedingt beachten, aber ich würde gerne wissen, wie ihr es sprachlich findet und so.

He hadn't seen anything like it in twenty years of teaching. Mr. Smiths most quiet Student, Laramie broke his silence in the most unbelievable way possible. On a regular tuesday, in Mr Smiths math lesson, Out of nowhere, he started screaming like a maniac. Not words, but bloodcurdling, painful sounding screams. The chatter in the class was disrupted, everyone was silenced in a heartbeat. All eyes were on the siren in the room. After being stunned for a few seconds, Mr. Smith finally opened his mouth. "Laramie, what is wrong with you?! Stop screaming!" Laramie did the opposite. He got louder and louder, causing some students to hold their ears, a girl started crying. While this was happening, Laramie himself looked absolutely terrified. There was fear in his eyes, and tears started to dwell, like he wasnt doing it on purpose, like he was being controlled. Then, the screaming stopped. Laramie still looked a little confused, but relieved at the same time. Until it started. Laramie started shaking uncontrollably, it seemed like the whole classroom was rumbling. A lot of kids started screaming, some ran out of the room. Smoke started coming out of Laramies ears, while he was hopelessly screaming for help. Other Students hid under their desks, while Mr. Smith ran over to Laramie, trying to calm him. "Hey Laramie, whats wrong? Talk to me, do you need an Ambulance?" Then, the pulsating began. Laramies Body started bloating, and then deflating, really quickly, like someone starting to inflate a balloon, and then stopping. That seemed to be the final stage. A few seconds later, Laramie exploded. Blood and Flesh splattered everywhere, hitting the few students, that were not hiding under their desks, painting the walls red. To this Day, Nobody that was in the classroom that day can explain, what happened to Laramie. The Only thing that reminds of him, is the door to the classroom, that is now blocked with bricks, seperating the outside world from the room, where a boy exploded.

Text, Aufsatz, Englischunterricht, Grammatik, Hausaufgaben

HALLO LEUTE HILFE DRINGEND SCHREIBE IN 8 Stunden Klausr....?

Das ist ein Text was ich so geschrieben hab.. Chat Gpt meinte, dass die Struktur sprunghaft ist und das Ausdruck sehr schlecht ist. Das sagt auch meine Lehrerin zu mir.. also wie kann ich genau meine Texte verbessern?

Hier ist ein Text von mir:

Auszug woraus ich einen Text erstellen muss

The text, "Data for people: How to make our post-privacy economy work for us" written by Andreas Weigend talks about the role of technology in a typical day in the author's life. The author uses a lot of techniques like tone, mood and style to help convey his neutral attitude towards technology as well as help keep his audience engaged.

The author’s tone helps convey the authors neutral attitude towards technology. The clear lack of variety in how he describes his routine and how the digital systems help complete his daily tasks hint a neutral attitude. He doesn't necessarily use direct adjectives that might connote a liking towards technology or adjectives with negative connotations. However, there are exceptions for example in line 21 he seems quite annoyed with the traffic system. The phrase, "again and again" shows his annoyance and his feelings of being irritated. Similarly phrases like in an instant" in line 31 show his satisfaction with technology and digital systems. At times the author gives reference to his criticism on technology discretely, for example the last line " Welcome to the digital revolution" sounds ironic. The tone also affects the mood evoked.

 The mood evoked by the text is also neutral. The author doesn’t necessarily refer to obvious wins that were possible through technology. However we  we read his experience with technology, we do get the feeling that technology can impact life positively when used in the right way. This is particularly evoked by words like "in an instant" in line 31 which also highlights how advanced technology has become. The phrase "eager to start the day" particularly gives the effect of technology easing one's duties which in turn results in the raising of one's spirits. Phrases like "again and again" highlights the drawback of technology and makes some digital systems seem like a discomfort. Such references make allows room for the assumption, that the author might share a positive attitude in technology. While the mood was mainly affected by the tone of the text, the style of the author helped keep the audience hooked to the text.

The author's style also helps keep the reader engaged and helps convey the author's attitude towards technology effectively. The author's use of hyphens helps contrast the general opinion from the author's experience. This gives the test clarity and helps the attitude understandable for the reader.

The author's structure also helps convey the overall attitude. The logical division of paragraphs in time-stamps helps the reader get a better understanding of the author’s neutral mindset and stay intact. While the structure played a massive role in engaging the reader, the informal register also helps alleviate the significance of the author’s stance.

 The register is informal, since the author mainly uses the personal pronoun, ,,I" which also helps with the message coming across, etc. Furthermore, the author also uses contractions like, "I'm" in line 20 and "Ill" in line 38. All this makes text feel like a conversation between the author and the reader, ultimately making it engaging.

All in all the author's neutral tone and the hopeful mood evoked by the text made technology feel promising when used effectively, etc.  The lack of variation in word choice made the text seem a bit blunt, but the unique structure and the hyphens etc. made the text attractive and clearer.

 

Bild zum Beitrag
Text, Aufsatz, englische Grammatik, Englischunterricht, summary

Englisch wie macht man eine Bilderbeschreibung?

Hallo! Ich habe bald meine Englisch Mündliche Prüfung (7. Klasse) und ich weiss irgendwie nicht wie ich Bilder beschreiben soll, irgendwie hört sich das bei mir so leblos an und ich komme auch nicht auf die 2 Minuten. Ich zeige euch kurz mal ein Bild:

(Leider schlechte Qualität, falls man es nicht erkennt, links: Frau bei dem Strand, trägt Sommer Klamotten und im Meer sind paar Vögel. Rechts: Mann, beim Strand, liegt auf dem Boden und hat einen Laptop auf dem Boden)

Ich würde das jetzt so beschreiben:

Hello, I am going to describe these 2 pictures now. In the picture on the left you can see a woman walking on the beach, the woman is on the left-hand-corner of the picture. On the right hand corner of the picture you can see some seagulls flying around the water. The woman seems to be watching the seagulls. I can see that the woman wears summer clothes and the weather seems to be good, since it's not raining. I am now going to describe the picture on the right: I can see a man laying on the beach with this laptop. (Keine Ahnung was ich noch sagen könnte)

Diese Bilder sind von unserer Lehrerin

Könnt ihr mir sagen wie ich das besser beschreiben kann?

Danke für jede Hilfe,

LG

Bild zum Beitrag
Englisch lernen, Englisch, Bilder, USA, Text, Übersetzung, 7. Klasse, Abitur, Aufsatz, Auslandsjahr, britisch, Englisch-Deutsch, englische Grammatik, Englischunterricht, Grammatik, Hausaufgaben, Lehrer, mündliche Prüfung, Rechtschreibung, summary, Beschreibung, comment

Englisch Hausaufgabe?

Hey

Ich musste für Englisch einen Text darüber schreiben wie ein Tag ohne (mein) Handy für mich aussieht.

Den habe ich grad geschrieben und gemerkt dass er sich schon ziemlich blöd anhört :/

Könnt ihr den vielleicht verbessern/überarbeiten?

Typical Day without my Phone
Dear world!
In this blog I will show you how one day in my live looks like without my phone.
At first I did not get up early enough but it was okay, because it was a day in my winter holidays. I played with my rabbits and made them their food. After that I wrote more and more on my story because I want to get ready with it. In this story I write a love story I want to publish in some years. When I was ready with one chapter on my own story I went for a walk with my dog and went to the stables with my best friends and had a lot of fun – without my phone! After all of this I did only eat and do the things of the early morning again (write on my story, fed my rabbits etc).
It was really difficult for me to let my phone at home. Sometimes I felt like I am crazy because everyone was checking their phones in the bus and nobody looked out of the window or do anything else without their phone.
I am happy to say I am doing without my phone since more than 3 weeks. But I am happy to get my phone back in three days. 
Englisch lernen, Schule, USA, Text, Übersetzung, Abitur, Aufsatz, Auslandsjahr, Englisch-Deutsch, englische Grammatik, Englischunterricht, Grammatik, Hausaufgaben, Rechtschreibung, comment, englisch hausaufgaben

Szenenanalyse / Dramaanalyse Einleitung?

Hi,

meine Lehrerin hatte und einen Zettel gegeben, der besagt, dass in der Einleitung einer Szenenanalyse Titel, Autor, Textart Entstehungsjahr , Thema und Interpretationshypothese genannt werden soll.

Allerdings bin ich mir nicht sicher ,ob ich das Thema der ganzen Tragödie ( jetzt in unserem Falle " Antigone" ) nennen soll oder das Thema der Szene.

Beispiel 1:

In der Tragödie "Antigone" veröffentlicht im Jahre 442 v. Chr von Sophokles steht der Konflikt zwischen göttlichen und staatlichen Gesetz im Mittelpunkt: Antigone begräbt ihren Bruder trotz Kreons Bestattungsverbotes, was tragische Folgen hat (=> Thema der gesamten Tragödie). Im folgenden soll der zweite Auftritt analysiert werden, in der sich Antigone und Kreon gegenüber stehen (=> Thema der Szene). In dieser Szene wird die Torheit von Kreon und die Einsicht von Antigone gegenüber gestellt ( Deutungshypothese).

Beispiel 2 :

Der zweite Auftritt der Tragödie "Antigone" veröffentlicht in Jahre 442 v. Chr. von Sophokles thematisiert den Konflikt zwischen der Protagonistin, Antigone, und ihren Onkel, König Kreon (Thema der Szene). In dieser Szene wird die Torheit Kreons und die Einsicht Antigones gegenüber gestellt (Deutungshypothese).

Danach kommt halt Einordnung der Szene in den Gesamtzusammenhang des Dramas und darauf folgt die Inhaltswiedergabe ( Inhaltsangabe)

weitere Frage: Ich verstehe nicht ganz was man unter " Thema" meint, da man ja sowieso darauf eine Inhaltsangabe schreibt , wird doch klar worum es sich handelt.

Deutsch, Lernen, Schule, Abitur, Aufsatz, Drama, Gymnasium, Klausur, Oberstufe, Antigone, szenenanalyse

Ist der Textabschnitt gut (Geschichte für die Schule)?

Der Titel erklärts vermutlich. Wir mussten einen kleinen Abschnitt zu

-im Park -> Teichufer

-Freunde

-Nachteinbruch

-Adjektive richtig verwenden

schreiben. Kann ich das lassen?

Es war schon recht spät, die Sonne konnte man nur noch als kleinen, roten Halbkreis am Horizont erkennen. In dem Park, in dem wir schlussendlich gelandet waren, waren nur noch wenige Menschen anwesend. Die Grillen sirrten und je länger wir am Teichufer sassen, desto stiller wurde es.

Am Rand des Parks konnte man eine Party erkennen, greller Lichter blitzten am Himmel über den Bäumen auf. Das Wasser gluckerte leise vor sich hin, einige wenige Enten suchten noch nach ihren Gefährten, um es sich gemeinsam im hohen Schilf gemütlich zu machen.

Am anderen Ufer rannte noch ein Spanielwelpe um die Beine seiner küssenden Besitzer herum. Die zwei Turteltäubchen ignorierten ihn gekonnt und versanken immer tiefer in dem Kuss. Erst als ihr kleiner Schützling ein niedliches Kläffen von sich gab, lösten sie sich und begannen zu lachen.

Han und ich warfen uns belustigte Blicke zu, und wandten uns dann diskret dem Himmel zu. Selbst wenn wir uns mitten im Herz einer Grossstadt befanden, konnte man die Sterne erstaunlich genau betrachten, wie sie da oben am Himmelszelt hingen und uns freundlich anfunkelten. Ich legte mich auf den Rücken ins Gras. Han blieb sitzen und ich betrachtete sein Profil.

Mucksmäuschenstill sass er da, die Beine angewinkelt, mit den Armen umschlungen und starrte in den Himmel hinauf. 

Schule, Text, Aufsatz, Abschnitt

Kann jemand meinen Englisch Text verbessern?

Hi, also im Folgenden seht ihr einen Text in Englisch. Ich wäre euch sehr dankbar, wenn ihr ihn korrigieren würdet. Es kann sein, dass ihr viel korrigieren müsst, das tut mir dann sehr leid.

Every day many students drive to school by bus. One ticket almost costs two euros. And when you have to take the bus both rides that are almost four euros. Every day! That's why I would like to comment on if school busses should be free? In my opinion they should be free but let me show you my point of view so that you understand my opinion.

On the one hand busses are already overcrowded and when bus rides become free, probably more kids drive with them instead of getting brought by their parents. And then maybe not everyone fits in the bus. That's another point which should be changed. There should be more busses for students. But that is to big to also talk about now. Possibly when school busses become free more kids drive with them instead of driving bike and then they get un- athletic. But it's very important that children be athletic for stay healthy. On the other hand when no one is brought specially it's ecofriendly and that's a big point why school busses should be free. A disadvantage of driving with the bus is that the school busses often are too late so students come too late to school and that's why some students get brought because they don't want to come too late. This argument speaks against that more children drive with bus, but it is possible to change that. Also it should be considered that students have to come to school independent of money. Some families don't have the money to pay the bus, but their children have to come to school anyway. And when they are dependent to the busses because they can't come to school otherwise, but there isn't enough money for the bus, they have a problem and that's another reason why I have the view that school busses should be free. Also for families who can pay the bus tickets, it's inadmissible to pay because there is compulsory schooling.

To sum it all up I think that school busses should be free because of all the arguments that have been counted. Of course the busses, the bus drivers and the gas have to been payed but the government could pay that. When the cost is too high, the tickets could be cheaper at least. But the existing prizes are too high to pay every day.

Danke für eure Hilfe!

Text, Aufsatz, Erörterung, Grammatik, Korrektur, Rechtschreibung, comment

Englisch Comment - Feedback?

Bitte gibt mir ein Feedback:

The advantages and disadvantages in an exhibition as a company for aircraft manufacturers

Einleitung: In this comment, I will discuss the pros and cons of presenting one’s own company at an exhibition.

 

Hauptteil:

+ In the first line, its good for the company, that they can quickly make contacts fastly, for example by exchanging the data when talking to customers.

- Possible drawbacks include that after a customer conversation everything must be keep up to date so that the customer does not disappear quickly. And for that you also need time.

+ Technically speaking, the team is better able to present they product. An example is, that they can show the Engines at the same time and Place.

– When planning to appear at such events, companies should not forget the heavy things, which needs to transported. All this will cost many energy and time. Such as all the engines are lightweigt for an airplane, but not for the employer. 

+ Its an easy way for the company, to make advertisment. For example telling them the benefits from the company, such as lightweight, sustainable etc. 

– At the same time, there is great competition and leads to competitive pressure, as most similar companies are also at such an event.

Schluss: In my opinion it doesn't really worth it to be at an exhibition, all the nerves, losses time and the pressure etc. I would think about that two times. Maybe only if I have enough time and the desire to do that.

Englisch lernen, Text, Übersetzung, Abitur, Analyse, Aufsatz, Englisch-Deutsch, englische Grammatik, Englischunterricht, Grammatik, Hausaufgaben, Rechtschreibung, summary, comment

Englisch Text zum Thema Australien?

Wir müssen in der Arbeit einen Text über Australien schreiben.Ich hab es mal schnell daheim probiert.Könntet ihr mal drüber lesen und verbessern.Sowohl Grammatik und Inhalt.Wäre echt wichtig weil ich eh schlecht in Englisch bin.Groß und Kleinschreibung nicht beachten.Das wurde so als ich es hier eingetippt habe.

I will tell you something about Australia.The Name Australia comes from the Latin word austalis which means southern ans the native Australiens Are Valley Aboriginal.

Australia is one of the most urbanised countries in the world.That is because there are large Parts of the country with very climatic conditions which means that Therme Are very high temperatures and Little Rain.The Capital of Australia is Canberra but the bigest City is Sydney.Sydney is known für example für the Sydney Tower or the Opera House.

The Opera House is located in the West of Sydney and there Are More Than 1000 Shows in a year.

Australia has also Dome famous people how Margot Robbie or Keith Urban.Keith Urban is a singer Andy Songwriter ans he is active since 1990. His Most famous Songs eure for example Somebody like you or you will think of me.Margot Robbie is a achtes and Producer.She grew up in Gold Coast and now she is living in Los Angeles.

Australia has also a beautiful Wildlife with very fascinating animals how the Tansania Devil or the koala.But los of the animals stand on the red List because of the bushfire because it is very hot ans dry and much animals lost Their Habitat or died.

In Australia There ist also the Great Barrier Reef.It is a UNESCO World heritage ans it is known for his biodiversity.The Reef is the home of More than 1000 of sea Snakes,Fish,Chorals and a lot of More animals and ist is as big as Germany.

Englisch lernen, USA, Text, Übersetzung, Abitur, Analyse, Aufsatz, Auslandsjahr, Englisch-Deutsch, englische Grammatik, Englischunterricht, Grammatik, Hausaufgaben, Rechtschreibung, summary, comment

Geschichte schreiben?

Hallo ich muss eine geschichte schreiben für die schule und zwar im thema Gothic Literature das ist was ich soweit habe:

The Face

I lay in my bed in the eerie midnight dreary, with my wife beside me while she read “A tale of two cities”. Outside the rain was hammering down and once in a while thunder sounded. The fire crackled in the wind that entered through the gap of the window. Every once in a while you hear raven’s shrill shriek screech, as it is tring to flee from the horrid thunderstorm. I glanced at the gloomy moon that lit up the room through the curtains. The murky moon was the only light source that kept shapes regocnizeable, as the candles were flickering and soon showed no sign of light. 

The bed creaked as I gradually turned around to wish my love, “Good night.” The light of the deep silver moon taking one's time passed the house, and the room fell into deep darkness. I quickly dozed off into deep slombering.

There was an ear spliting screach echoing through the house in the dead of the night. I wanted to grab for my wife, but she wasn’t there. My heart sank and my eyes widened, I fell into a state of schock. I suspected horrid things, as I leaped for the door and slammed it open. It felt like I did the greatest long jump down the stairs. But it was too late. There was no sign of her anymore other explanation for me than that my love was taken away. I knew I had to find this horrid creature who dared to take her. I screamed,”Elenor!” but no reply.

I went back up the stairs in deep sadness but also in such anger. I asked myself “What will I do now,” or “Will I ever see my love again.” It felt like an eternity until I reached the top of the steep stairs. When I did I colapsed onto the bed falling trying to process the schock I don’t remember properly but it was maybe 4-5 am and I just layed there like a dead body until it was about 7 am.I decided to slowly proceed down stairs and grabbed myself some cereal and threw myself onto the well worn couch. 

When I turned around and looked outside there was a face, a face that stared deep into my soul through the morning dawn, with eyes that were as white as snow and the body was covered in a black coat as black as his soul I supposed. It rapidly came into my mind that this might be the creature of horror that took my wife. I rushed through the pitch black kitchen and grabed the largest knive I could find. I wanted revenge, but not any one wher he could never get me back.

When I came outside there was nothing, it had disappeared. It vanished into thin air with no sign of it, it was gone. I looked around for a few minutes but still no sign of the beast. Fustrated, I back inside.

- - - - - - -

Und ich habe mir vor geschtelt das er dieses Gesicht noch weitere male sieht und er dann ganz paranoid wird und dass dann im ende das Gesicht ihm umbringt werend er schläft und die frau sieht das durchs Fenster und rent weg in denn Wald und dass die Geschichte dann so interesant ended dass sie wegrent und man sich dann so fragen stellt.

Es wäre sehr nett wenn mir jemand helfen könnte die Geschichte fertig zu schreiben

Danke im Voraus

Englisch lernen, Englisch, Deutsch, Text, Übersetzung, Abitur, Aufsatz, Auslandsjahr, Deutsch-Englisch, Englisch-Deutsch, englische Grammatik, Englischunterricht, Grammatik, Hausaufgaben, Rechtschreibung, comment

Englisch?

Könnte jemand eventuell einen Blick über meinen Englischtext über das Praktikum werfen (besonders bezogen auf die Grammatik) ? Das wäre echt lieb, danke!

When I arrived at my old primary school today, I went to the secretary to see in which classes I had to go. A lot of teachers were there who greeted me in a very friendly way. Then I got a timetable on which I could see where I had to go. The first lesson was in class 3b at 7:45 a.m. The class teacher was called Mrs x. She told me to help two students at reading and writing who didn’t speak German at all. At first it was quite difficult because they didn‘t understand me well and I wanted to teach them how to write s, m and o and how to read some words. Therefore, I tried to speak in English and make signs so that they would understand me better. It actually worked and they managed it to write the letters and read some of the words! It was really fun because they were so cute and they always listened to me and respected me. In the second lesson which began at 8:40 a.m., they had maths where I tried to teach the girl multiplication of the number 2 and it worked really well because she always understood me when I said something. I tried to teach the other boy the addition of numbers and he also understood me. At first it was pretty difficult as I said, but then it got easier and easier! At 9:45 a.m, the first break began and I went to the teacher‘s room to talk to teachers. They asked me a lot of questions, for example, what my name is or which school I go to. Everyone was kind. When the break was over at 10 a.m, I should go to class 3c which is taught by the class teacher Mrs xy. They had science and the topic was potatoes. I should help two students at completing exercises in their book. They had to match pictures to expressions which were about potatoes and so on. It worked well. There weren’t many exercises to do. Again, they were very kind and loved spending time with me. Then, the second break began at 10:50 a.m where I went outside to get some fresh air. Suddenly, a lot of students came to me and asked questions. It was so cute and stressful at the same time because you had to answer to a lot of questions in a short time. After that, a girl came to me to tell me about people who were on the climbing wall without any permission and she wanted me to tell them they should get off the wall. That‘s why I went to the wall and told them to get off and they listened to me. By the way, they should get off because it was wet to avoid accidents. Apart from that, I was walking in the school yard while I was watching the students which were playing. After the break, I didn‘t really have to do anything because the class teacher of class 3c only explained a lot of things about the school, so things which had nothing to do with lessons and so on. After that, I had another break where I went to the teacher‘s room to ask some questions about the job, such as the advantages and disadvantages. She answered them very clearly which made me happy because I could think  better about whether the job is perfect for me or not. I came to the conclusion that the job would be suit me! Then, at 12:45 PM I had to work in the school cafeteria to have the control about the children’s behavior and to lay the table. Next, the students of class 1a had P.E. at 1:45 PM. They really wanted me to play games with them which made me feel very comfortable and happy because they enjoyed spending time with me. It was very fun because the students were really funny, lovely, and cute. In the last lesson, so at 2:45 AM, we went back to their classroom and played games again. I also resolved disputes, for example, someone judged the other one without any reason. That‘s why I talked to the person and said it was not okay and he should not do it again. Luckily, he listened to me. In the end of the day, it was a very funny day and I loved spending time with the students there because they are very cute and I think the job suits me very well!

Englisch lernen, Geschichte, USA, Text, Übersetzung, Abitur, Aufsatz, Auslandsjahr, Englisch-Deutsch, englische Grammatik, Englischunterricht, Grammatik, Hausaufgaben, Rechtschreibung, summary, comment

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