Text – die neusten Beiträge

Ist dieser Text grammatikalisch korrekt und stilistisch gut?

Sehr geehrte Damen und Herren,
vielen Dank für Ihre Rückmeldung zu meiner Reklamation.
Ich möchte ausdrücklich darauf hinweisen, dass es sich bei der betroffenen Sendung um einen versicherten Versand bis zu einem Betrag von 20 Euro handelte. Vor diesem Hintergrund ist es in keiner Weise akzeptabel, dass Ihrerseits jegliche Haftung für den Verlust des Sendungsinhalts abgelehnt wird.
Der Verlust des Sendungsinhaltes ist klar auf eine Beschädigung während der Beförderung in Ihrem Verantwortungsbereich zurückzuführen. Hinweise auf interne Abläufe und die übliche mechanische Beanspruchung Ihrer Anlagen können hier nicht als Rechtfertigung herangezogen werden. Als Kunde kann und muss ich nicht über interne Prozesse der Deutschen Post informiert sein oder diese bei der Verpackung meiner Sendung berücksichtigen. Bei einem versicherten Versand erwarte ich selbstverständlich eine ordnungsgemäße und sichere Beförderung.
Die Verantwortung für die Beschädigung und den Verlust liegt eindeutig bei der Deutschen Post. Ich fordere Sie daher auf, mein Anliegen erneut zu prüfen und den entstandenen Schaden zeitnah und angemessen zu regulieren.
Für Rückfragen stehe ich Ihnen zur Verfügung.
Die Einleitung weiterer Schritte behalte ich mir vor.
Mit freundlichen Grüßen
Name
Deutsch, Schreiben, Text, deutsche Sprache, Grammatik, Korrektur, Korrekturlesen, Rechtschreibung

Meinung für ein Buch Kapitel 1?

Also ich habe einen Buch angefangen zu schreiben und habe vor das als erstes Kapitel zu nehmen: Ist english. ^^

TW: Su!z!d

_____________________

My mother died when I was four, and I was a part of the plan. She killed herself while I was playing with my dolls. Our maids had left for some minutes without any explanation. It was just me and her. I don't think she'd planned it all the way through. Who ends their life with a child sitting beside them?

She tied a rope to the wardrobe as I made tea for my dolls. I remember looking up and asking, “Are you making a swing, Mommy?”

She smiled, but not like she used to. It was strange and crooked, like it was borrowed. “Yes, darling. Mommy wants to swing a bit. Don’t tell Daddy, yeah?”

I nodded, smiling wide. Me and Mommy had a secret now,our very own secret. I'd always wanted one, like other kids said they had with their moms. I never imagined it would be this.

She pulled a chair into place and turned to me. “When Mommy swings, I want you to take the chair away, okay baby? That’s how my swing works.”

I hesitated. Something about it felt wrong. But she was smiling and I loved her, so I nodded again. Eager to please.

I did exactly what she asked. When she began to sway, I pulled the chair back. When her face turned strange, blue and bloated, I turned around like she'd told me to.

I thought I’d done something good.

The room was quiet until the door burst open. My father’s voice shattered everything. A gasp. Heavy footsteps. Then he turned me around fast, grabbing my shoulders, demanding to know what happened. He was shouting, and he was crying. Daddy never cried.

“Mommy told me not to tell,” I said proudly, like I’d done well. “It’s a secret.”

He stopped breathing for a moment, staring past me. I followed his eyes to Mommy, no longer swinging.

And then he slapped me.

My head snapped to the side. My cheek stung. I started crying. I didn’t understand. I had done what she told me to do. I had helped.

I ran to my mother. She was still there, hanging, her toes a few centimeters off the ground. I shook her gently. “Mom! Mom! Dad slapped me!”

But she didn’t wake up. She didn’t move. I didn’t understand what death was. I didn’t understand why he hit me.

Even now, I’m not sure if I deserved it.

________________________________

Wäre es so in ordnung? Würdet ihr sowas lesen?

Im Buch wird es halt um das Mädchen gehen und bla bla ihr Vater will einen Bodyguard für sie suchen bla bla. Ihr geht es mental natürlich bombastisch schrecklich. Bla bla. Am ende kommen die zsm oder so. Oder sie bringt sich um. Naja. Wäre es okay so zu starten?

Englisch, Buch, Geschichte, Story, Text

Hey! wollt fragen wie ihr meinen Stil so findet (bitte ehrlich gemeint)?

1. Depersonalization

I hover between the clouds,

twirling in golden, blinding rays of light —

not fleeing, not hiding,

simply existing, as if gravity has forsaken our names.

A sensation of pure liberty,

nothing to drag us down,

nothing to disrupt this intoxicating rush of heaven.

We are not alone.

We laugh on damp, sodden meadows,

gazing up into the endless, aching blue,

counting the flowers

that drift through the shapes of fleeting clouds.

2. Depressive Episode

Sadness — it arrives before you even sense it,

before you can name it.

A heavy, suffocating thud falls over you,

a crushing weight that breaks your ribs,

pulling the breath from your lungs.

It chokes you,

paralyzes you while your mind starves.

Raw, corporeal agony of the soul —

its trigger nowhere in your flesh.

It is the thing you try to survive.

But there are no shapes to hold,

no clouds to clutch.

3. Obsessive Love Disorder

I stare into your eyes —

not yours.

Just the scent of you,

captured in a photo.

In the dark, I lose myself,

falling into the shadow

of someone who is not you.

I kissed your lips.

No — hers.

A stranger’s.

But I imagined they were yours.

I ran my fingers through your hair.

No — mine.

I dyed it to look like yours.

I live through you.

I touch you.

I love you.

I ache for you.

I would boil in hell for you.

I would end my own life.

I would destroy you.

I would cease to love you,

just so you could breathe.

I’ve made you my God.

I fucking love you.

And I can do nothing about it.

4. Psychosis

Why am I smashing my head against the floor?

My vision’s a blur. My body writhes.

Pain — unnameable.

Why am I acting like this?

Where am I?

It feels… strange.

I twist away, cringing.

Help me. Stop this.

I don’t know —

am I spinning or lying still?

I see trees underwater.

Sleeping on clouds, my dearest companion.

But wait —

they’re dissolving into mist.

I fall through.

Say it. Say it.

You’re screaming in my ear —

what?

Just tell me what!

Stop screaming.

Stop everything.

I can’t.

Not anymore.

No comfort.

Nowhere.

For anyone.

Englisch, Text

Eure Meinung?

Verse 1:

I'm breaking down, can't find my way,

It seems easier to fade away

My head's a mess, thoughts are haunting me so much more

The weight of life feels to heavy

The thought of happiness, I don't believe in anymore

Chorus:

I'm lost and alone, in the dark of night

I'm searching for a light, to guide me trough the fight.

I'm trying to be strong, but it's hard to pretend

That everything's okay, when it's far from the end

I need someone to help me find my way ( need someone)

I'm tired and alone, every single day

Vers 2:

It seems easier to go, but doubts remain

I'm stuck, there are people who count on me in vain

I'm fighting on, all alone

In the hope of freeing myself from all pain.

Chorus:

I'm lost and alone, in the dark of night

I'm searching for a light, to guide me trough the fight.

I'm trying to be strong, but it's hard to pretend

That everything's okay, when it's far from the end

I need someone to help me find my way ( need someone)

I'm tired and alone, every single day

Vers 3:

Running trough the nights, trying to survive

Don't want to give up my life

Racing trough the streets in the dark, no plan, just feeling the rain

Bridge:

I need someone to bring me back home

I feel so lost and alone

Mama, Papa, I'm sorry to say

I'm fighting against the pain, but it's hard to stay

Chorus:

I'm lost and alone, in the dark of night

I'm searching for a light, to guide me trough the fight.

I'm trying to be strong, but it's hard to pretend

That everything's okay, when it's far from the end

I need someone to help me find my way ( need someone)

I'm tired and alone, every single day

Outro:

The pain is strong, the darkness is true

I'm at the end, don't know what to do

I'm alone, I'm lost, I don't know how to find

Myself, my heart and my mind.

Songtext, Text

Deutung und Bewertung dieser Parabel?

ich habe in deutsch selber eine parabel geschrieben. ich würde gerne wissen ob verständlich ist bzw was ihr denkt, welche gleichnishafte bedeutung diese hat und wie ihr sie findet:

Vier große Füße

Ein Elefant macht mit vier großen Füßen 70. 000 schwere Schritte am Tag. Ein Storch macht mit zwei kleinen Füßen 1000 leichte Schritte am Tag. Durch immer mehr Schritte sterben immer mehr kleine Tiere, werden immer mehr Pflanzen zertrampelt und immer mehr Schaden dem Boden zugefügt. Da trifft ein Elefant auf einen Storch und sagt: "Jeden Tag machst du immer mehr kaputt, du bist schuld, das unser Lebensraum kaputt geht. Du tötest jeden Tag Tiere und probierst nichts zu ändern. Du bist verantwortlich für den Schaden. Änder was, bevor alles kaputt ist. Der Storch geht zu den anderen Störchen und erklärt ihnen, was der Elefant gesagt hat. Während die Elefanten jeden Tag nun 100. 000 schwere Schritte gehen, gehen die Storche von nun an 800 leichte Schritte. Einen Monat später kommen mehreren Elefanten zu den Störchen. "Schaut euch um: Es hat sich nichts verändert, im Gegenteil. Alles um uns rum geht immer mehr kaputt. Ihr seid verantwortlich: Reduziert eure Schritte, tut etwas, sonst seid ihr Schuld wenn bald Alles platt ist." Die Elefanten gehen von nun an ihre 120. 000 schweren Schritte und die Störche 500 leichte. Da fragen sich die Störche: Warum ändert sich denn nichts! Wir geben doch unser Bestes!

Deutsch, Schreiben, Bewertung, Text, Bertolt Brecht, Deutung, Lehre, Lyrik, fabel, Konsequenzen, Franz Kafka, Parabel, lehren

HALLO LEUTE HILFE DRINGEND SCHREIBE IN 8 Stunden Klausr....?

Das ist ein Text was ich so geschrieben hab.. Chat Gpt meinte, dass die Struktur sprunghaft ist und das Ausdruck sehr schlecht ist. Das sagt auch meine Lehrerin zu mir.. also wie kann ich genau meine Texte verbessern?

Hier ist ein Text von mir:

Auszug woraus ich einen Text erstellen muss

The text, "Data for people: How to make our post-privacy economy work for us" written by Andreas Weigend talks about the role of technology in a typical day in the author's life. The author uses a lot of techniques like tone, mood and style to help convey his neutral attitude towards technology as well as help keep his audience engaged.

The author’s tone helps convey the authors neutral attitude towards technology. The clear lack of variety in how he describes his routine and how the digital systems help complete his daily tasks hint a neutral attitude. He doesn't necessarily use direct adjectives that might connote a liking towards technology or adjectives with negative connotations. However, there are exceptions for example in line 21 he seems quite annoyed with the traffic system. The phrase, "again and again" shows his annoyance and his feelings of being irritated. Similarly phrases like in an instant" in line 31 show his satisfaction with technology and digital systems. At times the author gives reference to his criticism on technology discretely, for example the last line " Welcome to the digital revolution" sounds ironic. The tone also affects the mood evoked.

 The mood evoked by the text is also neutral. The author doesn’t necessarily refer to obvious wins that were possible through technology. However we  we read his experience with technology, we do get the feeling that technology can impact life positively when used in the right way. This is particularly evoked by words like "in an instant" in line 31 which also highlights how advanced technology has become. The phrase "eager to start the day" particularly gives the effect of technology easing one's duties which in turn results in the raising of one's spirits. Phrases like "again and again" highlights the drawback of technology and makes some digital systems seem like a discomfort. Such references make allows room for the assumption, that the author might share a positive attitude in technology. While the mood was mainly affected by the tone of the text, the style of the author helped keep the audience hooked to the text.

The author's style also helps keep the reader engaged and helps convey the author's attitude towards technology effectively. The author's use of hyphens helps contrast the general opinion from the author's experience. This gives the test clarity and helps the attitude understandable for the reader.

The author's structure also helps convey the overall attitude. The logical division of paragraphs in time-stamps helps the reader get a better understanding of the author’s neutral mindset and stay intact. While the structure played a massive role in engaging the reader, the informal register also helps alleviate the significance of the author’s stance.

 The register is informal, since the author mainly uses the personal pronoun, ,,I" which also helps with the message coming across, etc. Furthermore, the author also uses contractions like, "I'm" in line 20 and "Ill" in line 38. All this makes text feel like a conversation between the author and the reader, ultimately making it engaging.

All in all the author's neutral tone and the hopeful mood evoked by the text made technology feel promising when used effectively, etc.  The lack of variation in word choice made the text seem a bit blunt, but the unique structure and the hyphens etc. made the text attractive and clearer.

 

Bild zum Beitrag
Text, Aufsatz, englische Grammatik, Englischunterricht, summary

Englisch wie macht man eine Bilderbeschreibung?

Hallo! Ich habe bald meine Englisch Mündliche Prüfung (7. Klasse) und ich weiss irgendwie nicht wie ich Bilder beschreiben soll, irgendwie hört sich das bei mir so leblos an und ich komme auch nicht auf die 2 Minuten. Ich zeige euch kurz mal ein Bild:

(Leider schlechte Qualität, falls man es nicht erkennt, links: Frau bei dem Strand, trägt Sommer Klamotten und im Meer sind paar Vögel. Rechts: Mann, beim Strand, liegt auf dem Boden und hat einen Laptop auf dem Boden)

Ich würde das jetzt so beschreiben:

Hello, I am going to describe these 2 pictures now. In the picture on the left you can see a woman walking on the beach, the woman is on the left-hand-corner of the picture. On the right hand corner of the picture you can see some seagulls flying around the water. The woman seems to be watching the seagulls. I can see that the woman wears summer clothes and the weather seems to be good, since it's not raining. I am now going to describe the picture on the right: I can see a man laying on the beach with this laptop. (Keine Ahnung was ich noch sagen könnte)

Diese Bilder sind von unserer Lehrerin

Könnt ihr mir sagen wie ich das besser beschreiben kann?

Danke für jede Hilfe,

LG

Bild zum Beitrag
Englisch lernen, Englisch, Bilder, USA, Text, Übersetzung, 7. Klasse, Abitur, Aufsatz, Auslandsjahr, britisch, Englisch-Deutsch, englische Grammatik, Englischunterricht, Grammatik, Hausaufgaben, Lehrer, mündliche Prüfung, Rechtschreibung, summary, Beschreibung, comment

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