1. Depersonalization
I hover between the clouds,
twirling in golden, blinding rays of light —
not fleeing, not hiding,
simply existing, as if gravity has forsaken our names.
A sensation of pure liberty,
nothing to drag us down,
nothing to disrupt this intoxicating rush of heaven.
We are not alone.
We laugh on damp, sodden meadows,
gazing up into the endless, aching blue,
counting the flowers
that drift through the shapes of fleeting clouds.
2. Depressive Episode
Sadness — it arrives before you even sense it,
before you can name it.
A heavy, suffocating thud falls over you,
a crushing weight that breaks your ribs,
pulling the breath from your lungs.
It chokes you,
paralyzes you while your mind starves.
Raw, corporeal agony of the soul —
its trigger nowhere in your flesh.
It is the thing you try to survive.
But there are no shapes to hold,
no clouds to clutch.
3. Obsessive Love Disorder
I stare into your eyes —
not yours.
Just the scent of you,
captured in a photo.
In the dark, I lose myself,
falling into the shadow
of someone who is not you.
I kissed your lips.
No — hers.
A stranger’s.
But I imagined they were yours.
I ran my fingers through your hair.
No — mine.
I dyed it to look like yours.
I live through you.
I touch you.
I love you.
I ache for you.
I would boil in hell for you.
I would end my own life.
I would destroy you.
I would cease to love you,
just so you could breathe.
I’ve made you my God.
I fucking love you.
And I can do nothing about it.
4. Psychosis
Why am I smashing my head against the floor?
My vision’s a blur. My body writhes.
Pain — unnameable.
Why am I acting like this?
Where am I?
It feels… strange.
I twist away, cringing.
Help me. Stop this.
I don’t know —
am I spinning or lying still?
I see trees underwater.
Sleeping on clouds, my dearest companion.
But wait —
they’re dissolving into mist.
I fall through.
Say it. Say it.
You’re screaming in my ear —
what?
Just tell me what!
Stop screaming.
Stop everything.
I can’t.
Not anymore.
No comfort.
Nowhere.
For anyone.
