HALLO LEUTE HILFE DRINGEND SCHREIBE IN 8 Stunden Klausr....?
Das ist ein Text was ich so geschrieben hab.. Chat Gpt meinte, dass die Struktur sprunghaft ist und das Ausdruck sehr schlecht ist. Das sagt auch meine Lehrerin zu mir.. also wie kann ich genau meine Texte verbessern?
Hier ist ein Text von mir:
Auszug woraus ich einen Text erstellen muss
The text, "Data for people: How to make our post-privacy economy work for us" written by Andreas Weigend talks about the role of technology in a typical day in the author's life. The author uses a lot of techniques like tone, mood and style to help convey his neutral attitude towards technology as well as help keep his audience engaged.
The author’s tone helps convey the authors neutral attitude towards technology. The clear lack of variety in how he describes his routine and how the digital systems help complete his daily tasks hint a neutral attitude. He doesn't necessarily use direct adjectives that might connote a liking towards technology or adjectives with negative connotations. However, there are exceptions for example in line 21 he seems quite annoyed with the traffic system. The phrase, "again and again" shows his annoyance and his feelings of being irritated. Similarly phrases like in an instant" in line 31 show his satisfaction with technology and digital systems. At times the author gives reference to his criticism on technology discretely, for example the last line " Welcome to the digital revolution" sounds ironic. The tone also affects the mood evoked.
The mood evoked by the text is also neutral. The author doesn’t necessarily refer to obvious wins that were possible through technology. However we we read his experience with technology, we do get the feeling that technology can impact life positively when used in the right way. This is particularly evoked by words like "in an instant" in line 31 which also highlights how advanced technology has become. The phrase "eager to start the day" particularly gives the effect of technology easing one's duties which in turn results in the raising of one's spirits. Phrases like "again and again" highlights the drawback of technology and makes some digital systems seem like a discomfort. Such references make allows room for the assumption, that the author might share a positive attitude in technology. While the mood was mainly affected by the tone of the text, the style of the author helped keep the audience hooked to the text.
The author's style also helps keep the reader engaged and helps convey the author's attitude towards technology effectively. The author's use of hyphens helps contrast the general opinion from the author's experience. This gives the test clarity and helps the attitude understandable for the reader.
The author's structure also helps convey the overall attitude. The logical division of paragraphs in time-stamps helps the reader get a better understanding of the author’s neutral mindset and stay intact. While the structure played a massive role in engaging the reader, the informal register also helps alleviate the significance of the author’s stance.
The register is informal, since the author mainly uses the personal pronoun, ,,I" which also helps with the message coming across, etc. Furthermore, the author also uses contractions like, "I'm" in line 20 and "Ill" in line 38. All this makes text feel like a conversation between the author and the reader, ultimately making it engaging.
All in all the author's neutral tone and the hopeful mood evoked by the text made technology feel promising when used effectively, etc. The lack of variation in word choice made the text seem a bit blunt, but the unique structure and the hyphens etc. made the text attractive and clearer.
3 Antworten
Naja ich sage mal so, was du jetzt noch nicht gelernt hast, das lernst du auch nicht mehr kurz vor der Klausur.
Im Text sind sehr viele kleine Struddelfehler und Comma-Splices. Da kann dir ChatGPT helfen, das auszubügeln mit "Find the errors".
Ansonsten wäre mein Tipp, dich das nächste Mal etwas früher dahinterzuklemmen, statt auf den letzten Drücker zu warten.
Also ich finde den Aufsatz sehr gut 🤷🏼♀️
Natürlich gibt es stellen die man verbessern kann, man kann sich schließlich immer verbessern.
Dass ich den Aufsatz gut finde kann aber auch daran liegen dass ich in der 1. Oberstufe bin und meine Englisch im Verhältnis nicht wirklich gut ist.
Hallo,
du hast doch eh schon ChatGPT befragt, dann bitte dort doch auch gleich um Verbesserung deines Textes.
Gib außerdem bei Google - How to analyse style tone register - ein und folge den Link, z. B. diesen hier:
https://knowunity.de/knows/englisch-style-tone-register-83e1cc90-d679-42f7-82ee-14e33b53adf9
Auch das kann helfen:
http://www.abipedia.de/stylistic-devices.php
https://www.ego4u.de/de/cram-up/writing/style
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RLwe-FFKOA
Ansonsten kenne ich das – auch in der heutigen Zeit – so, dass man einen Klassenkameraden oder einen Schulfreund um Hilfe bittet und dann gleich zusammen Hausaufgaben macht oder lernt. Das macht doch eh mehr Spaß als alleine, ist aber - zugegebenermaßen - um diese Uhrzeit schwierig!
Oder man bildet Lerngruppen, in denen man sich gegenseitig hilft und unterstützt; z.T. auch 'fachübergreifend', so dass z. B. 'Mathe-Asse', 'Englisch-Assen' in Mathe auf die Sprünge helfen und umgekehrt.
:-) AstridDerPu