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Kann man das so abgeben?

Guten Tag,

ich habe vor ein work and holiday jahr in Japan zu verbringen,
Dafür benötige ich allerdings eine motivation Letter, welche auf Englisch geschrieben werden soll.

Da mein Englisch jetzt nicht wirklich das beste ist wollte ich einfach mal fragen ob ihr denkt, das mein Text aktzeptabel ist oder ich ihn doch lieber neu schreiben sollte.

Dear Sir and Madam,

I am Max Mustermann, and I just graduated from high school.

In the following, im going to describe how and why the idea of applying for a working holiday visa in Japan came to mind.

The first bond with Japan was tied way back when I was a little boy who enjoyed watching Dragonball on the TV. Since then, a lot has changed, but my fascination for the country has stayed the same.

I started dreaming about going on vacation there, which sadly couldt be fulfilled, due to several reasons. Now that my schooldays have come to an end, I started questioning what to do after. Soon the idea of traveling to Japan consolidated, and I wanted to absolve a year of work and travel.

After learning more about the traditions, gods, and spirits that can be found throughout the whole country my interest was caught. I want to experience first hand what its like to go to a shrine or learning from monks and priests, what inner peace realy means.

Of course, I also heard about Japan’s hospitality, kindness, and patience. It astonishes me that a whole country can have a reputation that good, so much that I want to spend the whole next year there.

I plan to explore a lot of different sides of Japan. A few destinations are for example, Tokyo, Kyoto, Nara, Uji and Shimoda.

Furthermore, it is about being interested in Japans daily life, work, food, history, and what similarities and differences there are compared to Germany and the whole country itself.

I hope to improve my Japanese and learn a lot of interesting things in/about Japan.

Thanks for taking your time.

Kind regards,

MAx Mustermann

Text, Aufsatz, Grammatik, Rechtschreibung

Englisch?

Hallo, könnte sich jemand bitte meinen Text anschauen (vor allem Grammatik). Vorab will ich sagen, dass es um einen Tag in einem Bildungszentrum geht.

When we arrived there on the second day, we had to go to our maintenance groups immediately. On that day, there was another specialist, so we had to introduce ourselves to her. After introducing, we got two sheets of paper. On the first one, there was only an eye and on the second one, there was a whole face. She said we had to paint makeup on both the eye and the face. In my opinion, my pictures were very ugly and it was very difficult for me because I can‘t draw well and I have never worn makeup before. After that, we grabbed our hairdressing heads which still had curlers in their hair and we had to remove them. They needed to be left in their hair overnight so that a volume winding would form. Luckily, it worked! Then we had to create our own hairstyle on our hairdressing head. The specialist said my hairstyle was pretty good. Then we could style and wash each other‘s hair again and X wanted to try  volume winding again as it didn‘t work on the previous day. On that day, it definitely worked better but she had to dry her hair with a hair dryer for about one hour because her hair was still too wet to remove the curlers from her hair. I was so sorry for her. Finally, she did it after one hour and her hair looked gorgeous, so in my opinion it was worth it. In the last 50 minutes, we could wear makeup but of course I didn‘t want, so I observed my classmates again. On the one hand, I think I could work as a hairdresser in future because it‘s interesting what customers tell you while I‘m styling their hair and it‘s also interesting to try out different hairstyles but on the other hand, this job doesn‘t match to me  because I‘m scared of doing mistakes because for example I could cut off a customer‘s hair and I don‘t want to touch stranger‘s hair. 

Englisch lernen, USA, Text, Übersetzung, Aufsatz, Englisch-Deutsch, englische Grammatik, Englischunterricht, Grammatik, Rechtschreibung, comment

Könnt ihr bitte in meinem Aufsatz (Englisch) nach Fehlern gucken?

würde mich freuen wenn sich das jemand anguckt und korrigiert.

In my text I want to write about the topic "thrill seeking young teenagers no risks - no fun" and what I think about that. Doing risky things can give you an adrenaline rush teenagers love this, they consciously choose the danger. But young people have fewer overview of the consequences, as adults. Fun and full risk costs very many lives. That need not be. For example, in amusement park you have also an adrenaline rush. But this risk there is protected. In sport safety equipment reduce the risk, a danger always remains. Extreme sports or illegal things like train surfing or theft is not for me. Safety is most important to me. In my opinion, no one should risk his life or his freedom for an adrenaline rush. Bad experiences of other young people are a lesson to me. I avoid any possible risk. I love playing piano. Playing the piano in front of people gives me an adrenaline rush and there are no dangers. Some young people take a risk in order to look good in front of a group represents. This is something I would not do. There are lots of low-risk activities and sports which are good fun, too. The fun of smoking, drinking alcohol or taking drugs is no more fun, if you think about the long-term risks. Thrilling PC games do a kick and fun. this can happen no fatal accidents. By the way, you can get an adrenalin rush even at board games. This is just as fun. Finally, I would add that in every person's health should come first and consider the risks before.

Englisch, Aufsatz

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