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Korrektur Comment?

hey, kann jemand gut Englisch und würde mir den Teil meines Comments bitte korrigieren und gerne auch verbessern. Ich schreibe in zwei Tagen meine Klasur in Englisch, deswegen wäre es toll, wenn es jemand, der gut englisch kann, für mich korrigieren würde.

Many people think that the globalization destroys the world. In my opinion, i would disagree with this, because I think that the globalization has positive and negatives aspects / influences, which I would like to include in my Arguments. In the following i'm going to talk/ write about my cons and pros Arguments.

Firstly the globalization is bad for there environment, because it is affects the climate change in a negative way. Another contra argument of globalization are defined by the economic despondencies. For this reason, many countries can not longer supply themselves. German, for example, can only produce a very small proportion of consumers goods independently. Moreover Germany depends on the production of consumer goods for basic needs. However should there come war, strikes, or even environment disasters in these important countries, it can happen that the basic needs of Germany are no longer covered. Should the necessary supplies in the export industry accutually fail to materialize, the economy could also collapse. From this point of view, it can be doubted that this pronounced dependence on imports will have any peacemaking effects. Furthermore the Globalization, also has negative impact of the environment. With so- called environment dumping, the global wooing for investors and capital is emerging, with environmental protection being clearly neglected. Factory relocation is not always due to lower wages in other countries. The strict environmental regulations also mean that many factory locations have to be relocated to China. For this reason, globalization is not only considered a factor in worldwide wage dumping, because environmental protection is also considered a disruptive cost factor i global location competition. The worldwide dumping competition is also reflected in the energy supply. So it's happens that the demand for cheap nuclear power id constantly increasing, which is why the production of nuclear power is being expanded, despited the risks. Moreover my     next contra argument of globalization is the loss of identities. This is contributed by the globally operating companies, which ensure a uniform appearance with the branches, stored and subsidiaries that always look the same, people are not only presented with a desirable lifestyle, but also a kind of compulsion to brand awareness is promoted. However, since tge aspired consumption can nie be exercised in a personalized way, it inevitably leads to a loss of identity.

Englisch, Deutsch, Wirtschaft, Sprache, Text, Globalisierung, Grammatik, comment, Globalization

Kann jemand bitte mein comment anschauen und sagen welche Fehler ich gemacht habe, da ich am Dienstag ein comment in einer Klausur schreiben muss?

Nowadays social networks are used by people all over the world. They use them to stay in contact with their friends or family, get information about what’s happening in other parts of the world or just to bore something away. But there are also some negative facts, for example are social media also used for bullying. In the following I’m going to comment whether teenagers can agree or can’t agree if social media are good for them, also including the article „ Forty-five percent of teens are online ‚almost constantly’ – and they don’t know if it’s good for them“ written by Abby Ohlheiser published in the Washington Post on 31 may, 2018. 

First off all, social media are the best option for humans to express new possibilities for their future. They can find new attractions and places in the world, which they would never have heard of. 

Second, social networks are often used to find out the answer to questions, when not knowing the answer. Most of the people just take out their mobile phones, type it in and then they can read the answer. 

Third, social media are used to stay in contact with your friends, even if they move or travel.On the other side there are also negative points, for example that there aren’t just websites with goog thoughts, like websites where violence or sexual content is shown. Furthermore it has to be mentioned that there are people, mostly men, who get on these websites and don’t do legitimate things.On top of that, there are teenagers, who use social network platforms to bully their classmates. For this they use networks where you can write anonymously.

Weighing the pros and cons, I come to the decision, that social media isn’t a big problem for teenagers, if there are rules, which have to be followed and controlled by humans and / or machines.On top I think that social media should even be more popular, so that parents also know about it, so that they can teach their children about the problems.
Englisch, Klausur, comment

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