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Was ist eure Meinung zur folgenden Englisch-Klausuraufgabe?

ist die folgende Mediation gelungen?:

Hello,

So as we are working on a joint project on unequal distribution of income, I have come upon on an interesting article in the "Stern" magazine. The author Walter Wüllenberg states his profound opinion about the class mobility in Germany and how this has changed in the last years. In the following I will point out the main arguments and their argumentation.

Firstly, the author states, that the German inequality of class is not comparable to the American Class inequality, as the German discussion about class was about the under class and their immobility, whereas the US discussion about class was always accomplished by the prolific idea of the American Dream. This shows in the social spendings of Germany too, spending more than half of the income of the estate, incomparable to the US with only a fifth of theirs.

Henceforth, the author states that the class inequality in Germany much rather shows in the not existing middle class than in the poor estate of the under class. While economy has grown hugely in the last decades, the wages have nearly stagnated, showing that economies growth could not bared by society as a whole but only by the rich. Thus, the rich have gotten immensely richer, owning most of the capital of the country, and the rest just held their class. Yet the divide between the classes has grown and their nearly is no in between. This is worth the criticism because the growth of the economy is due to the work of the society as a whole, yet only few bear the fruits of the hard work, being quite unfair.

I hope that this has helped you and that it may have provoked some thoughts considering inequality. I would like to hear from you.

GaLIGrü, 

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Englisch lernen, Geschichte, USA, Text, Übersetzung, Abitur, Analyse, Aufsatz, Englisch-Deutsch, englische Grammatik, Englischunterricht, Grammatik, Hausaufgaben, Rechtschreibung, summary, comment

Summary?

Wäre eventuell jemand so lieb und könnte sich jemand meine Zusammenfassung anschauen über die USA beziehungsweise deren Einwohner besonders wegen der Grammatik, also den Tenses und der Word order? Das wäre echt sehr hilfreich, danke! Hier ist der Text dazu:

Meine Zusammenfassung:

The text is about the US and its immigration history. Today it is called a nation of immigrants. But thousands of years ago, only Native Americans lived there. The famous railroad that we know today was built by immigrants from Japan and China who came in the middle of the 19th century. A lot of German people came to the US but some of them left because they were discriminated. When some of them stayed, they started a new life mainly in Pennsylvania but later they decided to start a new life in Wisconsin, Michigan, Minnesota, North and South Dakota, Nebraska and Iowa. Ellis Island is known as a museum in New York today but in the past it was called "The Isle of Tears" because when immigrants wanted to go through, they had to prove their good health and they had to be able to write and read. When they could neither read nor write and didn‘t have a good health, they were sent back home. The people who wanted to immigrate into the US had a lot of problems since, in 1924, the US government passed "The Immigration Act“ and people from poorer countries weren‘t allowed to go to the US. Today, if people want to live in the US, they need a greencard which allows them to live and work in the US. People are given 50000 greencards all around the world each year, so there‘s a chance for everyone to immigrate to the US. 

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Englisch lernen, Geschichte, USA, Text, Übersetzung, Aufsatz, Englisch-Deutsch, englische Grammatik, Englischunterricht, Grammatik, Rechtschreibung, summary

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