Geschichte schreiben?

Hallo ich muss eine geschichte schreiben für die schule und zwar im thema Gothic Literature das ist was ich soweit habe:

The Face

I lay in my bed in the eerie midnight dreary, with my wife beside me while she read “A tale of two cities”. Outside the rain was hammering down and once in a while thunder sounded. The fire crackled in the wind that entered through the gap of the window. Every once in a while you hear raven’s shrill shriek screech, as it is tring to flee from the horrid thunderstorm. I glanced at the gloomy moon that lit up the room through the curtains. The murky moon was the only light source that kept shapes regocnizeable, as the candles were flickering and soon showed no sign of light. 

The bed creaked as I gradually turned around to wish my love, “Good night.” The light of the deep silver moon taking one's time passed the house, and the room fell into deep darkness. I quickly dozed off into deep slombering.

There was an ear spliting screach echoing through the house in the dead of the night. I wanted to grab for my wife, but she wasn’t there. My heart sank and my eyes widened, I fell into a state of schock. I suspected horrid things, as I leaped for the door and slammed it open. It felt like I did the greatest long jump down the stairs. But it was too late. There was no sign of her anymore other explanation for me than that my love was taken away. I knew I had to find this horrid creature who dared to take her. I screamed,”Elenor!” but no reply.

I went back up the stairs in deep sadness but also in such anger. I asked myself “What will I do now,” or “Will I ever see my love again.” It felt like an eternity until I reached the top of the steep stairs. When I did I colapsed onto the bed falling trying to process the schock I don’t remember properly but it was maybe 4-5 am and I just layed there like a dead body until it was about 7 am.I decided to slowly proceed down stairs and grabbed myself some cereal and threw myself onto the well worn couch. 

When I turned around and looked outside there was a face, a face that stared deep into my soul through the morning dawn, with eyes that were as white as snow and the body was covered in a black coat as black as his soul I supposed. It rapidly came into my mind that this might be the creature of horror that took my wife. I rushed through the pitch black kitchen and grabed the largest knive I could find. I wanted revenge, but not any one wher he could never get me back.

When I came outside there was nothing, it had disappeared. It vanished into thin air with no sign of it, it was gone. I looked around for a few minutes but still no sign of the beast. Fustrated, I back inside.

- - - - - - -

Und ich habe mir vor geschtelt das er dieses Gesicht noch weitere male sieht und er dann ganz paranoid wird und dass dann im ende das Gesicht ihm umbringt werend er schläft und die frau sieht das durchs Fenster und rent weg in denn Wald und dass die Geschichte dann so interesant ended dass sie wegrent und man sich dann so fragen stellt.

Es wäre sehr nett wenn mir jemand helfen könnte die Geschichte fertig zu schreiben

Danke im Voraus

Answer 1

[AstridDerPu]

Hallo,

hier mein Anmerkungen nur zum ersten Abschnitte, der im Übrigen zahlreiche Fehler enthält, denn Gothis Literature ist nicht mein Genre.

I lay in my bed in the eerie midnight dreary (Wort), with my wife beside me while she read (Formulierung, Grammatik) “A tale of two cities”. Outside the rain was hammering down and once in a while thunder sounded. The fire crackled in the wind that entered through the gap of the window. Every once in a while you hear (Grammatik) raven’s (Singular/Plural?) shrill shriek screech (Formulierung, Grammatik), as it is (Grammatik) tring (Wort, RS = Rechtschreibung) to flee from the horrid thunderstorm. I glanced at the gloomy moon that lit up the room through the curtains. The murky moon was the only light source that kept shapes regocnizeable (RS), as the candles were flickering and soon showed no sign of light (Formulierung).

Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert, das Kursivgedruckte überdacht werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.

Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com,

für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de - und Finger weg vom Google Übelsetzer und seinen tr.tteligen Kollegen!

:-) AstridDerPu