Ich schreibe morgen Schularbeit und würde eine Korrektur sowie Tipps zu diesem Text benötigen? Angabe ist als Bild dabei!?
Dear Sir/Madam,
I hope this email finds you well. I am writing with regard to your job offer which I saw online. In less than a month my school holiday are going to start and I am looking for a program to spend my time and to get new experiences. I have seen your online advertisement and now I have few questions about it.
At first I think volunteer work is very important for us because I think we should do more for each other for free. It is really frightening that some people do not do some jobs without money. I think we will get a better world when we do more volunteer work and help each other. I think when you help other people for free they also would help you back for free when you need help.
As already mentioned I have a thew questions about your volunteer work. You said that your projects lasts only one or two days but I would do longer ones are there any longer projects? Furthermore I would ask for more details about your wide range of projects and locations. Can you give me please some examples of locations? You also write about a break for lunch. I would ask if there is a lunch provided or if I should bring my own lunch? My last questions is about your last point. You said that there are no admin fees but are there any other costs what I should know about?
I would like to thank you in advance for this informations and I would also be very grateful if you could reply as soon as possible.
Yours faithfully,
Adam
1 Antwort
Hallo,
Dear Sir/Madam, (In der Anzeige steht der Name des Ansprechpartner. Diesen solltest du nutzen.)
I hope this email finds you well. (Das würde ich persönlich nicht in eine Bewerbung schreiben.) I am writing with regard to your job offer which I saw online. In less than a month my school holiday (Grammatik) are going to start and I am looking for a program (= AE; BE = programme) to spend my time and to get (Ich würde hier ein anderes Verb wählen.) new experiences. I have seen your online advertisement and now I have few questions about it.
At first (Ausdruck) (Ich würde hier ein Komma setzen.) I think volunteer work is very important for us because I think we should do more for each other for free. It is really frightening that some people do not do some (Grammatik) jobs without money. I think we will get a better world when we do more volunteer work and help each other. I think when you help other people for free they also would help you back (Ausdruck) for free when you need help. (Du verwendest in diesem Absatz 4 x think. Schau doch mal nach Synonymen.)
As already mentioned (Ich würde hier ein Komma setzen.) I have a thew (RS = Rechtschreibung) questions about your volunteer work. (Besser: about the volunteer work you offer.) You said (Ich würde hier ein anderes Verb verwenden.) that your projects lasts (Grammatik) only one or two days but I would (Hier fehlt etwas.) do longer ones (neuer Satz) are there any longer projects? Furthermore (Ich würde hier ein Komma setzen.) I would (Hier fehlt etwas.) ask for more details about your (s.o.) wide range of projects and locations. Can you give me please (Wortstellung) some examples of (Hier oder hinter locations fehlt etwas.) locations? You also write about a break for lunch. I would (Hier fehlt etwas.) ask if there is (---) lunch provided or if I should bring my own lunch? My last questions is about your last point. You said (Ich würde hier ein anderes Verb verwenden.) that there are (Ich würde hier anders formulieren.) no admin fees but are there any other costs what (Grammatik) I should know about?
I would like to thank you in advance for this informations (Grammatik) and I would also be (Grammatik / Ausdruck) very grateful if you could reply as soon as possible.
Yours faithfully, (Wird in der Anrede der angegebene Name verwendet, muss die Schlussformel geändert werden.)
Adam
Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert, das Kursivgedruckte überdacht werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.
Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com,
für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de - und Finger weg vom Google Übelsetzer und seinen tr.tteligen Kollegen!
:-) AstridDerPu
Für mich ist der Text gut. Ich könnte kein besseres Englisch auftreiben.