Könnt ihr korrigieren?

Hallo ihr,

das ist ein Text über Francis Drake, die ich selbst geschrieben habe. Also Die Info sind alle Richtig, aber bitte achtet auch Zeitformen(past perfekt or simple past) oder auch auf Wörtern wie(after, as soon as, but, because, when, then, so) wenn sie richtig eingesetzt sind oder sagt auch was euch auch dabei falsch fiel Danke!!!!!!!!!

After Francis Drake had seen so many ships as a boy, he wanted to have his own adventure at sea, Then, on his first big adventure when he went to America he sold slaves because he had captured in Africa before.in America after the Spanish had attacked his ships so this made him angry, but he never forget that. In 1577 he sailed around the wourld. then he stole gold and silver of the Spanish ships so the Spanish hated him. In 1580 he returned to England because he hadn't wasted time, so after he had given the Queen the treasure the Queen was very happy in 1588 defeated the Spanish Armada, as soon as England felt safe again then was Francis Drake a national hero.

Answer 1

[AstridDerPu]

After Francis Drake had seen so many ships as a boy, he wanted to have his own adventure at sea (Punkt) Then, on his first big adventure when he went to America (Komma) he sold slaves because he had captured in Africa before (Das ergibt keinen Sinn.). in (RS) America (Komma) after the Spanish had attacked his ships so this made him angry, but he never forget (Grammatik) that (wen oder was?) (Der Satz ergibt keinen Sinn.). In 1577 (Komma) he sailed around the wourld (RS) . then (RS) he stole gold and silver of (Wort) the Spanish ships so the Spanish hated him. (Das ergibt keinen Sinn.) In 1580 (Komma) he returned to England because he hadn't wasted time (Das ergibt keinen Sinn), (neuer Satz) so (Wort) after he had given the Queen the treasure (Komma) the Queen was very happy (Punkt) in (RA) 1588 (Komma) (Hier fehlt das Subjekt.) defeated the Spanish Armada, (neuer Satz) as soon as England felt safe again (---) was Francis Drake a national hero (Satzstellung).

Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.

Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com,

für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de - und Finger weg vom Google Übelsetzer und seinen tr.tteligen Kollegen!

:-) AstridDerPu

Comments

[dieSchoenste369]

Danke dir! Ich habe mein Fehler gesehen Danke!!!