Hier meine Summary von "No Tigers in Africa", Chapter 3, kann mir das jemand korrigieren? :D

In Chapter 3 of the novel „No Tigers in Africa“, written by Norman Silver, published in 1990, the main character Selwyn explains his familiar situation, especially the difficult relationship between his father and his mother, and his resulting problems by comparing the events in Bristol with those in South Africa. The action is set at Bristol in the present and the narrator remembers details of his dormer life in South Africa.

At the beginning Selwyn tells about how hard his father works, so that they could have the same standard of living as they had in Africa. However he says that for his mother the situation is difficult too, because in Africa she used to have a good life with lots of friends, but not in England. In addition he criticises how difficult it is to make friends in England in contrast to Africa and says because of that problem, his mother is not (oder no?) longer her old self, she is uncertain. Besides that he compares the situation in England with their move from Cape Town to Johannesburg, when he was seven. Selwyn admits that he needs time to “arrive”, but that the time, when they settle to Joburg, was actually more easy than settle to this country. After he mention he often skips school and goes to a place where he could see the gorge and the suspension bridge, however he hears that that bridge is a favourite place for suicides and finds similarities to his situation. Thereafter the narrator speaks about Brunel and the Voortrekker Monument which was built because of the victory of the whites over the blacks years ago in South Africa. Moreover he describes his feelings when he stays at the gorge at this time by comparing it with the thoughts he had when he looked over the railway of the Voortrekker monument, because there was a voice in his had, saying he should jump. However the voice means that he should jump over the cliffs inside him .He concludes that he needs to built such a bridge, metaphoric meaning, inside him. On top of that Selwyn tells when he walks once from gorges to the market, where he is instead of school often too, one day he recognizes his mother who is cheating on his dad with a black man. This is a big shock for him. The boy tries to explain his feelings, says he is confused and cannot believe what has happened. Selwyn describes his condition by comparing it with the a ground which has opened under his feet, describes that it is deeper than the liftshaft his dad fell down once at Christmas after he has drunk too much. Finally Selwyn feels very bad and sick, basically helpless and lost, he does not know what to do and starts to be silent again.

Answer 1

[earnest]

Einen Text dieser Länge empfinde ich als Zumutung. Kannst Du Dir vorstellen, wie lange eine sorgfältige Korrektur Deines Texts dauern würde?

Aber vielleicht hat ja jemand genügend Zeit ....

Gruß, earnest

Comments

[easyparisi]

Tut mir ja leid, dass auch du sie zu lang findest, aber so eine Antwort kann man sich auch sparen,die hilft niemandem weiter, wirklich nicht :D Gruss -

[earnest]

@easyparisi

Danke für Deinen Hinweis.

Ich finde allerdings nicht, daß die Antwort überflüssig war. Auch wenn sie Dir vielleicht nicht hilft: Vielleicht hilft sie anderen, die eigene Anspruchshaltung auf ein vertretbares Maß zurückzufahren.

[easyparisi]

@earnest

ok, gut, das ist wohl irgendwie auch wahr... ;)

Answer 2

[Bswss]

Dein Text ist mir zu lang. Hier ausgewählte Korrekturen:

.. Selwyn mentions/says how hard his father works ("tells about" ist nur im am. Englisch zulässig). .... and, because of that, he says that his mother no longer is herself any longer (kein Komma vor einem Objektsatz) .... Moreover, he compares... when** they settled down in** Johannesburg.... ** easier** than settling...
.... After that he mentions that** he often cuts classes... where he can see....

Punkt und neuer Satz nach "supension bridge"

"thereafter" ist ein unüblich gewordenes Wort. Nimm einfach "then" oder "after that".

Comments

[easyparisi]

Ja tut mir leid, dass er so lang ist, aber ich schreibe am Mittwoch meine englischklausur und niemand den ich kenne spricht gut genug... Danke jedenfalls (: