Könntet ihr mir bitte bei meinem Referat über Cristiano Ronaldo helfen (Rechtschreiben -und Grammatikverbesserung)?

hier der TEXT (bitte auch noch was ich dazuschreiben könnte):

**Hello, my Name is Hossein. I'm 15 years old and I was born in Hamburg.

My topic for today is my favorite football player Cristiano Ronaldo.

(Bild1 – This is Cristiano Ronaldo, in the Real Madrid jersey)

Cristiano Ronaldo dos Santos Aveiro was born on the 5th of February 1985 in Funchal.He is a footballer, who is playing as midfielder in the Premier League for Real Madrid and in the national team of Portugal. Ronaldo is the first Portuguese player to reach 50 international goals, making him Portugal's top goalscorer of all time. Ronaldo began his career at C.D. National. When he was 11 years old, Cristiano signed with Sporting Lisbon for 22500 euros. Sir Alex Ferguson, the coach of Manchester United heard about Ronaldo. In 2003, Cristiano Ronaldo signed his contract. When he was 15, Ronaldo was diagnosed with tachycardia (Herzrasen), a condition that might have eventually forced him to give up his football career. He had an operation in which a laser was used to cauterise the area of his heart that was causing the problem.
Then he has been in Manchester for seven years and he has won numerous trophies, for example: FA Cup Winner 2008; European Golden Shoe, 2008; Champions League and maybe his best trophy - the Ballon d´ Or. He got the last Ballon d'Or for the best player in the World.

In 2009 moved to Real Madrid for 80. Million pound. Now he has an worth of 1 billion pound. Today he earns 120.000 Pounds a week. This contract made him the best paid player in the team history.

Cristiano Ronaldo has donated 5million pounds to the charity Save the Children with Justin Bieber to help their aid efforts in Nepal after the earthquake which killed more than 8,000 people.

Cristiano Ronaldo's sponsor is Nike. He has his own Collection at Nike. And his Shoes are called Nike Mercurial Superfly.

He got with his Shoes 2 million pound. He donate all the Money for the kids in gaza.

(Bild2 – This is his Shoes. Nike Mercurial Superfly)

5 Antworten

cr7fan123

14.06.2015, 15:19

ich find du könntest mehr über sein leben schreiben wie z.B. das er ein Sohn namens Cristiano Ronaldo Jr. hat der am 17.6.2010 zur Welt kam und das niemand weis wer die Mutter von dem Sohn ist und das sein Vater 2010 an Leber und Nieren Versagens starb da er Alkoholiker war und seit dem trinkt Ronaldo selbst kein Alkohol mehr und vielleicht über die Mutter denn am Anfang wollte die Mutter ihn weg treiben lassen da die Familie nicht so viel Geld hatte und du könntest sagen das er drei Geschwister hat namens: Liliana Katia, Elma und Hugo und das die Schwester Katia eine in Portugal berühmte Sängerin ist und das er ein Label hat und in Portugal eine Statuar und vielleicht über die ex Freundin Irina Shayk die beiden waren von Mai 2010 bis Januar 2015 ein paar und ja halt solche Sachen

AstridDerPu

Von gutefrage auf Grund seines Wissens auf einem Fachgebiet ausgezeichneter Nutzer

Englisch

03.06.2015, 20:26

Hello, my Name is Hossein. I'm 15 years old and I was born in Hamburg.

My topic for today is my favorite (= AE; BE = favourite) football player Cristiano Ronaldo.

(Bild1 – This is Cristiano Ronaldo, in the Real Madrid jersey)

Cristiano Ronaldo dos Santos Aveiro was born on the 5th of February 1985 (so wird es gesprochen, man schreibt on 5th February 1985) in Funchal. (Ort vor Zeit) He is a footballer (, who is) playing as midfielder in the Premier League for Real Madrid (ich würde das umdrehen for RM ...) and in the national team of Portugal.

Ronaldo is (Zeit) the first Portuguese player to reach (besser: score) 50 international goals, making him Portugal's top goalscorer of all time. Ronaldo began his career at C.D. National. When he was 11 years old, Cristiano signed with Sporting Lisbon for 22,500 euros. Sir Alex Ferguson, the coach of Manchester United (Komma) heard about Ronaldo. In 2003, Cristiano Ronaldo signed his contract. When he was 15, Ronaldo was diagnosed with tachycardia (Herzrasen), a condition that might have eventually forced him to give up his football career. He had an operation in which a laser was used to cauterise the area of his heart that was causing the problem. (Diese Passage ist abgekupfert!)
Then he has been (Zeit) in Manchester for seven years and he has won (Zeit) numerous trophies, for example: (Hier fehlen Artikel) FA Cup Winner 2008; European Golden Shoe, 2008; Champions League and maybe his best trophy - the Ballon d´ Or. He got the last Ballon d'Or for the best player in the World.

In 2009 (Komma; Hier fehlt ein Wort.) moved to Real Madrid for 80. Million pound. Now he has an worth of 1 billion pound. Today (Komma) he earns 120.000 Pounds a week. This contract made him the best-paid player in the team history.

Cristiano Ronaldo has donated 5million pounds to the charity Save the Children with Justin Bieber to help their aid efforts in Nepal after the earthquake which killed more than 8,000 people.

Cristiano Ronaldo's sponsor is Nike. He has his own Collection at Nike. And (kein Satzanfang) his Shoes are called Nike Mercurial Superfly.

He got with his Shoes 2 million pound (RS; Word Order). He donate (Grammar) all the (Wort) Money (RS) for the kids in gaza (RS).