Was könnte ich bei diesen summary über den text "paranoid park" im green line besser machen?
Es wäre nett, wenn ihr mal drüber schauen könntet und mich auf Fehler hinweist und mir vielleicht Verbesserungstipps zur gebt.
The book 'Paranoid Park' was written by Blake Nelson, which was published in year 2006 in Portland, Oregon. The text deals with a young skater names Alex, who is doing illegal things, and who kills a security guard in self defense.
The young skater is the main character of the story. He is 16 years old. And is at his uncle Tommy's beach house.
One evening he decides to go there with his best friend Jared, but Jared wants to see his girlfriend and so he doesn't go with Alex to Paranoid Park.
Alex decides to go alone to Paranoid Park and when he is there, he sits on his skateboard and watches the skaters and girls there.
A streeter called Scratch comes along with his friends and after a short talk Scratch asks Alex whether he wants to hop a train.
Fascinated by the idea of hopping train Alex agrees and they leave Paranoid Park.
While riding the train, they are seen by a security guard who immediately chases them and starts to hit Scratch with his nightstick.
After Alex sees that he hits the security guard with his skateboard.
The man stumbles and falls forward on the gravel beside the train.
The coming train pulls him along and he is twisted into an awkward position under the train.
After the train has passed, the security guard has been cut in half.
After this horrible accident Alex is totally in panic and he doesn't know what he should do in a situation like that.
He is totally confused, because he wants to tell the police but he is too afraid of the consequences and he decides to keep first that accident to himself.
Totally confused the main character starts to run....
3 Antworten
The book 'Paranoid Park' was written by Blake Nelson**, which (bezieht sich auf Blake Nelson, nicht auf das Buch)** was published in (---) 2006 in Portland, Oregon (Ort vor Zeit).
The text deals with a young skater names Alex, who is doing illegal things kein Komma and (---) kills a security guard in self defense.
The young skater is the main character of the story. He is 16 years old. And (kein Satzanfang) is at his uncle Tommy's beach house. (unvollständiger Satz)
One evening Komma he decides to go there (zum beach house oder wohin?) with his best friend Jared, but Jared wants to see his girlfriend and so he doesn't go with Alex to Paranoid Park. (woher kommt der auf einmal?)
Alex decides to go alone (Position) to Paranoid Park and when he is there, he sits on his skateboard and watches the skaters and girls there. (2 x there - Stil und was ist mit there gemeint?)
A streeter called Scratch comes along with his friends and after a short talk Komma Scratch asks Alex whether he wants to hop a train.
Fascinated by the idea of hopping hier fehlt etwas train Komma Alex agrees and they leave Paranoid Park.
While riding the train, they are seen by a security guard who immediately chases them and starts to hit Scratch with his nightstick.
After Alex sees that Komma he hits the security guard with his skateboard.
The man stumbles and falls forward on the gravel beside the train.
The coming train pulls him along and he is twisted into an awkward position under the train.
After the train has passed, the security guard has been cut in half.
After this horrible accident Komma Alex is totally in panic and he doesn't know what he should do in a situation like that.
He is totally confused kein Komma because he wants to tell the police but he is too afraid of the consequences and he decides to keep first that accident to himself (Word Order).
Totally confused Komma the main character starts to run....
Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.
Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.eu,
für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de.
Summaries werden in der Regel im Present geschrieben. Handlungen aus der Vergangenheit können aber durchaus auch im Past Simple und Present Perfect stehen.
Die Zusammenfassung eines Sachtextes, der sich mit Geschichte befasst, steht im Simple Past, denn es handelt sich um in der Vergangenheit abgeschlossene Handlungen.
Gliederung:
- Einleitung
- Hauptteil
- Schluss
In eine Summary gehören nicht:
- Progressive / Continuous Tense
- Wörtliche Rede
- Zitate aus dem Originaltext
- Eigene Meinung, Gedanken und Kommentare
- Stellungnahme
- Schlusssatz
- Erzählerische Elemente, z.B. suddenly, unfortunately, at long last …
Zur Länge gibt es keine Vorgaben, man sagt über den Daumen gepeilt 1/5 des Originaltextes.
Tipps und Wendungen zu englischen Summaries findest du unter folgendem Link:
ego4u.de/de/cram-up/writing/summary
:-) AstridDerPu
vielen Dannnnnnk :) es hat mir sehr geholfen ..ich hab es noch mal verbessert und hört sich jz vieeel besser an :) thx noch mal
The book 'Paranoid Park' written by Blake Nelson, was published in the year 2006 in Portland, Oregon. The text deals with a young skater names Alex, who is doing illegal things and who kills a security guard in self defense.
The young skater is the main character of the story. He is 16 years old. One evening, he decides to go to the paranoid park with his best friend Jared, but Jared wants to see his girlfriend so he doesn't go with him. Paranoid Park is a skatepark.
Alex decides to go to Paranoid Park alone. When he arrive, he sits on his skateboard and watches the skaters and girls in the park .
A streeter called Scratch comes along with his friends and after a short talk, Scratch asks Alex whether he wants to hop a train.
Fascinated by the idea of hopping a train, Alex agrees and they leave Paranoid Park.
While riding the train, they are seen by a security guard who immediately chases them and starts to hit Scratch with his nightstick.
After Alex sees that, he hits the security guard with his skateboard. The man stumbles and falls forward on the gravel beside the train.
The coming train pulls him along and he is twisted into an awkward position under the train.
After the train has disappeared,Alex sees that the security guard has been cut in half.
After this horrible accident, Alex is totally in panic and he doesn't know what he should do in a situation like that.
He is totally confused because he wants to tell the police but he is too afraid of the consequences and he decides first to keep that accident to himself.
Totally confused, Alex starts to run....
Schön, dass dir meine Antwort gefallen hat und danke für das Sternchen!
:-) AstridDerPu
Korrekturen, Auswahl:
skater named ... self-defense ... Der Satz mit "And is..." hängt in der Luft" uns ist SO nicht haltbar, passt überhaupt nicht.... doesn't** go to PP with**...
Alex hits the security guard with his skateboard, the man stumbles and falls...
After the train has disappeared, Alex sees that the security guard has been...
Alex gets into a panic...
Komma nach "confused"....
Auf "Anhieb" finde ich nur im ersten Absatz Fehler (ohne Garantie, ich bin auch nicht DER Fachmann):
"The book 'Paranoid Park', ./. written by Blake Nelson, ./. was published in the year 2006 in Portland, Oregon. The text deals with a young skater named Alex, who is doing illegal things, and who kills a security guard in self defense.
Der Rest ist imho ok (überflogen).
danke schööön :)