englischer text so richtig? ( write a discussion )

5 Antworten

I am going to write about the environmentalism. MANY people think that they won't go green because they can't save the planet anyway. This adjustment is one of the biggest problems in the world today. So the question is can you save the planet or not? On the ONE hand you have less work and less problems, IF you don't go green. If you don't think about the environment you have a carefree life because you don't think about the aftereffects. On the other hand you FEEL better IF you do something for the environment. You can help with little things, for example you can turn off the lights and appliances IF you don't need or use it. You can HAVE shorter showers, too. Some work is FUN too, FOR example PLANTING trees with friends. Help even more people so the change to save our planet is higher (versteh den Satz nicht so richtig). After looking at both sides I think IT'S better to go green because MOST OF THE THINGS to help are not complicated. IT's not so difficult to help.

Damit wären zumindest die Re/Gr-Fehler korrigiert, inhaltlich geh ich mal nicht näher drauf ein. Für welche Klassenstufe ist diese Text?

für die 10. :o :D aber die arbeit ist schon geschrieben und danke :')

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Help ist hier kein passendes Verb.

Lots of people think that they won't go green ---> Lots of people don't want to go green

This adjustment ----> This change in lifestyle

So the question is can... ----> So the question is: can...

less work ----> less to do

you fell better ----> you feel better

with little things ----> with little effort

need or use it ---> need or use them

do shorter showers ----> do take showers

Some work is funny too ----> Some work is fun too

example plant trees with friends ----> for example planting trees with friends

so the change to save our planet is higher ----> so the environmental effect is bigger

sides I think its better ----> sides, I think it's better

the most things to help are not complicated. Its not so difficult to help. ----> it's easy to be eco-friendly.

Bin übrigens nicht sicher, ob man eine discussion schreiben kann.

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Ich glaube es müsste heißen "If you don't go green"; "you feel better"; "some work is also funny" wäre vom ausdruck besser; im selben Satz "for example" und "When even more people help, the chance to save.." klingt besser.

Zusätzlich dazu würde ich deine Duschformulierung anders machen.

You can shower less long anstatt you can do shorter showers.

Ach und: Neuerdings ist es laut Richtlinien verboten can't zu schreiben. Du musst alles ausschreiben (hier cannot). Falls du auf das Abitur zustrebst, solltest du dir das vielleicht schonmal im Hinterkopf behalten (;

-"You can shower with a friend"?

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was soll adjustment hier heissen?

onE hand..

aftereffect? was soll das heissen?

feel, nicht fell

change ist nicht "higher".. "impact" bspw. ist higher"...

prüfe die präposition "at" both sides........

lasse das "the" bei "most things" weg.

ansonsten ist der text ganz okay. ich denke altersgerecht.............

adjustmnent heißt Einstellung und aftereffects heißt Folgen

danke :)

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