Schreibe morgen Klausur und hätte gerne Feedback zu diesem Text ob ich bereit dafür bin?
Hey Elena!
How are you? I hope you are well. Today I am talking about my changed appearance.
Before two months i looked into the mirror and i felt terrible. I didn’t like my hair, my style, yeah I didn’t like my whole body. So i thought what could I do. I researched every day, night and what ever and suddenly I found a style bzw. hair styles, so I started to changed my appearance.
At first I went to a hairdresser and changed my hairs for 6 hours. Yeah, that was really stressful but when the hairdresser was finished I saw my hairs and was in love with that. I changed my hair to brown because I think these colour will match with my eyes perfect. When I was at home I started to shop my outfits. At zalando, bershka, pull and bear, yeah everywhere. I also bought some earrings to wear it.
Yeah, I changed from a emo girl to a really really pretty girl. You will not recognize me when we will meet us.
My parents were also very surprised when they saw my new appearance and I hope I you will like me to.
Best wishes,
Sarah
4 Antworten
Hey Elena!
How are you? I hope you are well. Today I am talking about my changed appearance.
Before (Wort) two months i*2 looked into the mirror and i*1 felt terrible. I didn’t like my hair, my style, yeah I didn’t like my whole body. So i*1 thought (Wort) what could I do (Satzstellung). I researched every day, night and what ever (Formulierung) and suddenly I found a style bzw. (deutsch) hair styles (Grammatik), so I started to changed my appearance.
(---) first (Ich würde hier ein Komma einfügen.) I went to a hairdresser and changed (Grammatik; Formulierung: Du hast deine Haare ändern lassen.) my hairs (Grammatik) for 6 hours. Yeah, that was really stressful but when the hairdresser was finished (Komma) I saw my hairs (Grammatik) and was in love with that (Grammatik). I changed (Grammatik; Formulierung: Du hast deine Haare ändern lassen.) my hair to brown because I think these (Grammatik) colour will match with (Wort) my eyes perfect (Grammatik). When I was at home (Komma) I started to shop my outfits.
At zalando, bershka, pull and bear*2, yeah everywhere. (kein vollständiger Satz) I also bought some earrings to wear it (Grammatik).
Yeah, I changed from a (RS) emo girl to a really really pretty girl. You will not recognize me when we will meet (---)*3.
My parents were also very surprised when they saw my new appearance and I hope I you will like me to (RS).
Best wishes,
Sarah
*1 - Das englische Personalpronomen für ich = I schreibt man im Englischen immer groß, egal ob am Satzanfang, in der Satzmitte oder am Satzende.
*2 - Eigennamen (Vor- und Nachnamen, geographische Namen, Flüsse, Sehenswürdigkeiten, Firmennamen usw.) werden im Englischen großgeschrieben.
*3 - meet (sich treffen) gehört zu den Verben, die im Deutschen mit sich gebildet werden, im Englischen aber ohne Reflexivepronoun verwendet werden.
Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert, das Kursivgedruckte überdacht werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.
Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com,
für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de - und Finger weg vom Google Übelsetzer und seinen tr.tteligen Kollegen!
:-) AstridDerPu
...hair styles, so I started to changed my appearance....
changed zu change
think these colour will match with my eyes perfect
think this colour will match perfectly with my eyes
I started to shop my outfits. At zalando, bershka, pull and bear, yeah everywhere. I also bought some earrings to wear it.
ich denke eigennamen schreibt man groß (zalando, bershka usw.)
und "to wear them" (nicht it) ist ja mehrzahl
a emo gir lieber "an" weil danach ein vokal kommt
hope I you will like me to.
das I weg und aus to lieber too
aber ansonsten ziemlich gut
(bin selbst kein englischprofi, aber für gutefrage reichts)
Sollte eine 2- bis 3- sein. An vielen Stellen kann man besser formulieren.
Ich weiß natürlich nicht, in welcher Klasse und in welcher Schule du bist. Ohne all das sagt mir mein Bauchgefühl: geschätzte 3-4.
Morgen wird alles besser. Schau dir mal Astrids Korrekturen an - das hilft schon.
Alles Gute!
Hey Elena!
How are you? I hope you are well. Today I'd like to talk about my changed appearance.
Two months ago I looked into the mirror and felt terrible. I didn’t like my hair, my style, yeah I didn’t like my whole body. So i wondered what to do about it.
Iresearched every day, night and whatever and suddenly I found a style bzw. hair styles I liked, so I started to change my appearance.
First I went to a hairdresser and changed my hair which took about 6 hours. Yeah, that was really stressful but when the hairdresser was finished I saw my hair and was in love with it. I changed my hair to brown because I think this colour matches perfectly with my eyes. When I was at home I started shopping my outfits. At Zalando, Bershka, Pull and Bear, yeah everywhere. I also bought some earrings to wear with the new clothing/ stuff.
Yeah, I changed from a emo girl to a really really pretty girl. You will not recognize me when we will meet.
My parents were also very surprised when they saw my new appearance and I hope you will like it, too.
Best wishes,
David
3, nicht drüber.
nicht besser?