Locker 160 Summary
Eine weitere Summary: Fehler, Verbesserungsvorschläge?
The short story 'Locker 160', written by Lee Busselman deals with two girls called Karen and Julie who bully their classmate Miriam by playing tricks on her. Karen gets the idea of putting a hate note in someones locker. The other gir, Julie agrees. They coose the locker of their classmate Miriam. Both of them do not like her, because in their opinion she is just different. When they want to put the note into the locker, none of the girls want to do it themselves. Karen takes the paper anyway, put it in the locker nervously and walkes away with a pleasant feeling of relief. Then they watch Miriam's reaction, her face turns red, and both of the girls have to laugh. The next days they play other tricks on her. Karen and Julie put a plastic bag of marbles in Miriam's locker, which were clattering down the hallway, they make a voodoo doll of Miriam with a hug pin it's head and they also write a petition, which declaires that Meriam is weird and hated by all of her classmates. Below this note they copy the signatures of their classmates from a real petition. For Julie and Karen all this tricks are just funny. Later while they are waiting for Miriam's raction to their last trick, in biology class, they ask themselves, why she would not come to school. At the end of the lesson they find out that Miriam tried to commit suicide, but for them this is just funny and they do not even feel guilty.
3 Antworten
The short story 'Locker 160', written by Lee Busselman Komma deals with two girls called Karen and Julie Komma who bully their classmate Miriam by playing tricks on her. Karen gets the idea of putting a hate note in someones locker. The other gir
(---) agrees. They coose the locker of their classmate Miriam (besser: s-Genitiv). Both of them do not like her kein Komma because in their opinion Komma she is just different. When they want to put the note into the locker, none of the girls want to do it themselves. Karen takes the paper anyway, put it in the locker nervously and walkes away with a pleasant feeling of relief. Then they watch Miriam's reaction, her face turns red, and both of the girls have to laugh. The next days Komma they play other tricks on her. Karen and Julie put a plastic bag of marbles in Miriam's locker, which were clattering (Zeit) down the hallway, they make a voodoo doll of Miriam with a hug pin (Hier fehlt eine Präposition)
it's (= it is) head and they also write a petition, which declaires (ersetze durch Participle Construction) that Meriam is weird and hated by all of her classmates. Below this note Komma they copy the signatures of their classmates (besser: s-Genitiv) from a **real petition. For Julie and Karen Komma all this tricks are just funny. Later Komma while they are waiting for Miriam's raction to their last trick kein Komma in biology class, they ask themselves
kein Komma why she would not come to school. At the end of the lesson Komma they find out that Miriam tried to commit suicide, but for them this is just funny and they do not even feel guilty.
Wie gehabt,
- (zwar schon kürzer, aber immer noch) zu lang und ausführlich (spielen ihr verschiedene Streiche, reicht vollkommen)
- Sätze zu verschachtelt, daher viele Kommafehler
- Fett gedrucktes gehört korrigiert
Es ist 3 Uhr in der Früh, du brauchst dringend eine Mütze Schlaf, wie deine Rechtschreibfehler deutlich zeigen!
AstridDerPu
Vielen Dank!
Es ist 3 Uhr in der Früh, du brauchst dringend eine Mütze Schlaf, wie deine Rechtschreibfehler deutlich zeigen!
Wer weiß ob es daran liegt...
Schön, dass dir meine Antwort gefallen hat und danke für das Sternchen!
:-) AstridDerPu
Wie Astrids Antwort aber: neither of the girls wants to do it on her own (none of the girls if there are more than 2)
why she would not come to school........why she is not at school
Miriam tried to commit suicide......had tried to commit suicide (before the lesson)
sonst korrigieren per Astrids markierten Stellen
Siehe AstridDer Pu:
Korrekturen z.B.
a** petition which says** that... KEIN Komma, da notwendiger Relativsatz.
... puts it in. the locker ..
... all these tricks ...
... walks.... choose...
UNBEDINGT Deine Komma-Orgie beseitigen! KEIN Komma vor "that"- und "why"-Sätzen!!! KEIN Komma vor und nach notwendigen Relativsätzen!!!
ABER:
Komma vor nicht-notwendigen Relativsätzen: ... Karen and** Julie, who** bully...
"Un-englische" Aneinanderreihung von Hauptsätzen, die nur durch Komma getrennt sind, vermeiden: connectives verwenden!
Insgesamt ist die summary nicht schlecht, doch enthält sie noch einige wenig wichtige Details und ungünstige Übernahmen aus dem Originaltext.
past perfect hat in einer summary nichts zu suchen; muss heißern:
She has tried to commit suicide.