Hilfe bei meiner Englisch-Hausaufgabe

Hallo ich habe eine Englischhausaufgabe für morgen auf und zwar habe ich einen Essay vorliegen, der unstrukturiert ist und nicht fließend ist. Deshalb muss ich diesen Essay in seine richtige Reihenfolge bringen und mit Bindungwörtern fließender schreiben. Ich würde mich sehr freuen wenn Ihr mir dabei helfen würdet.

(1) Barack Obama living the American Dream; Martin Luther King dying for it because he dared to challenge a society where segregation of races was accepted; a confident black middle class, but blacks are still discriminated against: how realistic is the American Dream?

(2) My view of the American Dream is complicated - I can see two sides to it. There is the idea that anyone can be succesful in American society, i.e that it doesn´t matter how poor you are.

(3) Through hard work you can create a better life for yourself. This is believed in it, and many of them have been succesful.

(4) Part of this idea is that anyone can become a millionaire or even a president of the USA. Most people know that is much more difficult than it sounds. Most US presidents in recent years have been very rich. Running for President costs a lot of money. All Americans are supposed to be equal, but some are definitely more equal than others.

(5) It certainly helped George Bush Jr. that he had a rich daddy when he wanted to become President.

(6) If people have to be rich to be President, it´s obvious that presidents will have less sympathy for the poor. The basic idea is that "If they´re poor, that´s because they haven´t worked hard enough."

(7) There is the other side, too.

(8) Things have changed enormously since the 1950s. In the 1950s the election of a non-white president was unthinkable, and nowadays the mayors of many big cities are black.

(9)Discrimination makes sure that some are more equal than others. As an old song from the 1950s goes, "If you´re black, stay back. If you´re brown, stick around. If you´re white, you´re all right.

(10)For me, the only sensible approach to the American Dream is to say that it helps people by giving them the belief that they can improve their lives through hard work. The popular idea that anybody can become a millionaire or US president is missleading. These are impossible goals for most people, even if they do work very hard.

Answer 1

[AstridDerPu]

Hallo,

zur Verbesserung des Stils:

Sätze verbindet man stilistisch 'elegant':

• mit Relativpronomen, also durch die Bildung von Relativsätzen

z.B.: which = welcher, -e, -es (für Dinge, Tiere); who = welcher, -e, -es (für Personen)

• oder durch Konjunktionen (conjunctions) wie z.B.:

after = nach; although = obwohl; and = und; because = weil; both .... and = sowohl als auch; but= aber; either .... or = entweder oder; even though = obwohl; however = jedoch; if = wenn, falls; in order to = um zu; neither .... nor = weder noch; nevertheless = dennoch, trotzdem; not only .... but as well/but also = nicht nur, sondern auch; or = oder; since = da ja, weil; so = deshalb; so that - so dass; that = welcher, -e, -es (für Dinge, Tiere, Personen); that's why = deshalb; though = obwohl; to = um zu; when = als; whereas = wohingegen; while = während;

Weitere finden sich unter den folgenden Links:

• www.eslflow.com/transitionalconnectingandlinkingwords.html

• english-at-home.com (dahinter müsstest du noch /grammar/linking-words/ eingeben)

:-) AstridDerPu

Answer 2

[Koschutnig]

Ehe du den wie immer hervorragenden und ausführlichen Rat von AstridDerPu zur Verbindung der Absätze/Sätze ausführen kannst, musst du aber einen sinnvollen Ablauf herstellen.

Druck den Text aus, zerschneide ihn und verschiebe wie bei einem Jigsaw-Puzzle die 10 Teile solange, bis ein sinnvoller Zusammenhang entstanden ist. ( Der vorteilhafte Nebeneffekt: Du bist gezwungen, gutes Englisch mehrmals zu lesen, was du freiwillig sonst wohl nicht tätest.)

Dann wirst du auch merken, dass da in den Absätzen gewisse Folgerungen und Begründungen drin verborgen sind, die man herausholen muss (that is why, therefore, thus, so ; since, as, because...), dass Einschränkungen und Gegensätze da sind ( however, yet, although, even though, nonetheless, neither-nor,...) u. dgl. , damit das Ganze glatt und logisch wird.

Viel mehr zur stilistischen Verbindung aber, wie gesagt , bei AstridDerPu.

Jetzt mach das einmal, und dann stell dein Ergebnis wieder herein.