Könnte jemand bitte meine Englisch Argumentation korrektur lesen?

1 Antwort

Die Struktur ist gut und der Aufbau mit Einleitung, Hauptteil, Schluss auch. Ich würde an deiner Stelle nicht so oft auf deutsch denken und Wort zu Wort übersetzen. Versuch ein eigenes Sprachgefühl zu entwickeln. Hab jetzt einige Sachen geändert, die ich umgeschrieben hätte. :)

In Britain, (normale Ortsangabe, kein Komma nötig) children and teenagers can be given an ASBO (als Leser unklar wofür die Abkürzung steht, vllt. erstmal erläutern) if they do anything that is an antisocial behavior. It’s a way of punishing them for their actions instead of going to prison or similar punishments. An ASBO consists of several punishments like being forbidden to go (passenderes Verb: enter)to different areas of a town or to meet specific people.

The problem with ASBO’s is that they can give (passenderes Verb: cause) the person depression because they are socially isolated. Consequently, this can lead to self harm or depression in the worst cases. Secondly, their actions aren’t primarily punished they are prevented so that the child/teen won’t do it anymore.(nähere Ausführung, was mit "do it" gemeint ist) Furthermore, the things that are reported aren’t necessarily illegal sometimes it’s just something that might be annoying to others, like tattoos. Having said that, this might just be a way of showing personality. Reportedly, it has happened that someone was just given an ASBO because he looked scary and was always wearing a hood. Another thing to add is that the pictures that are hung up around town can be really embarrassing and can lead to harassment by others. 

(Absatz wenn du deine Gegenseite erläuterst) 

On the other hand, ASBO's also have advantages. Many teenagers have their problems with school, friends etc. This might lead to some illegal actions like drinking or smoking. In addition to that, there often is some kind of group pressure. ASBO’s are a way of showing them that their actions are wrong and that there is a solution to their problems. For instance, it’s a way of identifying that their actions have been wrong. Another key thing to remember is that ASBO’s can keep the children/teenagers from going to prison and that would be way worse.

All things considered, I think that ASBO’s can be good for the young people to change their antisocial behavior. That way, they can understand that their actions have been wrong and change them for good.

Könnte jemand über meinen Essay drüber schauen?

         Every school should demand school uniform

In some countries all over the world school children have to wear uniforms the color scheme and style varies from school to school. In other countries pupils can wear to school what ever clothes they choose. In those countries it could be difficult to introduce school uniforms, because they are not traditionally used to wearing one. In the following essay I want to discuss the advantages to introduce school uniforms world wide.

In my opinion school uniforms ind schools are positive but negative too because not every student have the same style and they cant decide which school uniforms they wanted to wear.

School uniforms are on the one side good because a lot of children are victims of bullying because some of theme haven’t enough money to buy expensive and nice clothes. In this case the school uniform is very practically and maybe a good problem-solving.

On the other side pupils cant find our style and have to wear clothes that they don’t wanted. School uniforms can be nice but not every day ,It quickly becomes boring .However, there are people around the world for which it is too expensive ,always to buy a school uniform. Children grow fast and because of that they have to buy an again and again. We must take into account that the school uniform is maybe expensive but the clothes that the kids need for school is not cheaper and they have to be buy again and again, too.

On the other hand if the pupils wear school uniforms there is not a difference between rich and poor.

I have come to the conclusion that school uniforms are not everywhere positive and children should be able to develop their own style. Cause the bully is not reduced by a school uniform.

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Ist das eine gute Argumentation (Englisch)?

Hallo :), wir schreiben morgen eine Arbeit, bei der wir über eine Entschuldigung der Australier an die Aborigines für die jahrelange Unterdrückung... Ich hab schonmal eine Übungsargumentation geschrieben? Könnt ihr mir vielleicht ein bisschen Kritik und Tipps geben? Das wäre sehr nett :D.

Hier ist die Argumentation: Kevin Rudd, the Prime minister of Australia, gave a speech to say sorry to the victims of the „Stolen generation“, the children who were taken away from their familys. Now I want to deal with the ask, if it is a good or a bad idea to apologize for something that is happened a long time ago.

An argument for the apology is that an apology is better than no apology because the Aborigines can recognise that the Australians are very sorry in consideration of the faults of the past. Without an apology the Aborigines could not see the regret of the white people and therefore they wouldn´t forgive the Australians. Moreover with an apology there is the possibility that the Aboriginal people and the Australians can let the past behind and go together into a peaceful future without disrimination and with equal living conditions.The whites must not have a bad conscience anymore and they can conclude with the cruel history of Australia. On the other hand an apology cannot make something undone. Apologies are only words and cannot bring the parents their stolen children and therefore the Australians have to chance something with actions. For example they can search the parents of children who were taken away in the past. Furthermore it´s very ludicrous to think that an apology is enough for whatis happened in the past. Most of the victims of the „Stolen generation“ have traumatic loss since they were taken away from their familys and nothing can heal these wounds.

In summary there are better arguments for the apology and therefore in my opinion it was a great gesture.

LG Eulerocks

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Hilfe kann jemand sehr gut englisch und mir das erklären??

Ich weiß es ist etwas viel Text, aber ich wäre euch so dankbar, wenn Ihr mir helfen könntet. Ich bin so besorgt und verstehe es einfach nicht! Vielen Dank schon mal im voraus. Ich verstehe nicht warum Utopien als gefährlich bezeichnet werden und den letzten Absatz verstehe ich gar nicht! :(

Not only we lack visions of the future: society spurns possibilities that lie within its gaps. The potential of GM, for example, Bacon's dream of centuries past, now lies within reach - for creating plants of dramatically new tastes and qualities that can be grown in completely different conditions. Yet new technologies are often discussed in grave tones, as if they were more of a burden than a blessing. We also shy away from experimenting with new ways of organising society: we are warned against trying anything too new or too ambitious. The organisation of the economy, for example, is off the political agenda - economic matters are decided by bureaucrats at the Bank of England and the Treasury, rather than being opened up to popular debate.

Indeed, many see utopianism as positively dangerous. As Jacoby argues, utopianism has dark associations, as if trying to improve things puts you on a slippery slope towards the death camps. That’s where the attempts to perfect society end up, cynics say: in Stalin’s gulags or in Auschwitz. This is a way of avoiding thinking about the future. It’s about retrenching in the here and now, limiting ourselves to managing the present. If changing things will only end in tears, there’s no hope for human beings trying to make history. There’s little point in thinking about how things could be, or planning over a timescale of centuries.

Humility is deemed to be the virtuous way. People aim to show that they are aware of the impacts of their actions and are seeking to limit them as much as possible. Those who confess their vulnerability are seen as sensitive and virtuous human beings. Some almost apologise for breathing, counting the units of carbon dioxide emitted and planting the requisite numbers of trees to make up for it. We’re approaching Wells’s vision of global travel as a way of life, yet there is constant breast-beating about cheap flights.

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Sind da Fehler in meinem Englisch Referat, Wenn ja welche?

Renewable energy Good morning ladies and gentleman, Today I’d like to talk to you about a very important and currant topic: renewable energies. But what are renewable energies? Renewable energies or regenerative energies are energy sources which are inexhaustibly available to use or energy sources which can be renewed very fast.

Fossil fuels in contrast need millions of years to be renewed. Renewable energy is the most important factor of the sustainable energy policy and the energy revolution. Examples are: bioenergy, geothermics, hydropower, ocean energy and wind energy But how do they work? The energy source the sun for example is giving us light for millions of years. With her we can easily heat water. Solar thermal installations are therefore standard facilities at new houses. The solar panels produce heat which we can use for showering, heating, and other things in our household. To produce current there are two ways: solar cells convert light directly into current. This process is also called recombination. In warmer countries there are often solar thermal power plants. With big mirrors the sunlight gets bunched, converted into heat and stream turbines can be boosted. Then the direct current can be transported. The advantages of renewable energies are that they are like I said sustainable and they never run out, secondarily they require less maintenance than traditional generators. Their fuel being derived from natural and available resources reduces the costs of operation.

Even more importantly, renewable energy produces little or no waste products such as carbon dioxide or other chemical pollutants, so has minimal impact on the environment. Renewable energy projects can also bring economic benefits to many regional areas, as most projects are located away from large urban centres and suburbs of the capital cities. These economic benefits may be from the increased use of local services as well as tourism.

It is easy to recognize the environmental advantages of utilizing the alternative and renewable forms of energy but we must also be aware of the disadvantages.

One disadvantage with renewable energy is that it is difficult to generate the quantities of electricity that are as large as those produced by traditional fossil fuel generators. This may mean that we need to reduce the amount of energy we use or simply build more energy facilities. It also indicates that the best solution to our energy problems may be to have a balance of many different power sources. Another disadvantage of renewable energy sources is the reliability of supply. Renewable energy often relies on the weather for its source of power.

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