Written discussion?

Hallo wir haben als hausaufgabe aufbekommen eine written discussion zu schreiben. Ich hab mal eine geschrieben könntet ihr den mal durchlesen und meine fehler korrigieren oder verbesserungen vorschlagen?

Nowdays, Car accidents are a big issue that we are facing .Every day we hear in the news about a car accident that caused death to a group of people . Most people think that Young People are bad drivers, for this reason people want to ban under 25s from driving after 10Pm. But the question is, would that be a good idea? does it really help?

In the following I'm going to discuss whether baning und 25s from driving after 10 pm is a good idea.

on the one hand, it would have some advanteges, because most car accidents happen at night. That way maybe car accidents would be less than before. Moreover, young people or Even teens are mostly drunk at nights because they go to parties. Also most of them drive even if they are drunk, which can cause a car accident, and the person might lose his life for a Stupid reason .one of the reason why car accidents happen, is that most fof teenagers use their phone while diving. this is a big Problem , becaus While using your phone you can't concentrate on the road which also might Cause a car accident. Further more ,I believe that people under 25 years old are not good drivers. The reason Why I thinke that young people cant drive good, is beacause they aren't resposible and as I Sayed before most of them use their Phone while driving or are drunk While driving. Another point to consider is that they learnt how to drive at a young age, thats why they Still can't drive very well. 

But on the other hand, banning driving for under 25 years olf after 10 pm would cause Some Problem . In the first place , banning driving for young People after 10 pm because some unresponsible young teens caused a car accident is unfair for the responsible drivers. There is also alot of drives who don't use their Phone while driving. Moreover, there are some teens who have to work at night to earn some money. if they are not going to be allowed to drive at night, then most of them can't work because they need to drive to the place they work in.

Another point to consider is that not only peoply under 25 who cause car accidents at night. In fact, there is alot of old people who are unresponsible divers as well.

after looking at both sides, I would Say that it is not a good idea to ban under 25s from driving after 10 pm . I believe that the age doesn't play any role whether a person is a good driver or not .Also old people can cause a car accident. That's why I think that it isn't a good solution for the problem .

Answer 1

[AstridDerPu]

Hallo,

die Recht-, sowie Groß- und Kleinschreibung ist unter aller Kanone! Und jetzt sage bloß nicht "Rechtschreibung" sei unwichtig, denn es macht einen Unterschied, ob z. B. driving oder diving gemeint ist. Wie heißt es denn nun, baning oder banning? Und was bitte ist sayed? - um nur ein paar Fehler zu nennen.

Grammatik:

• one of the reason
• less
• at nights
• the person - his life
• drive good
• some problem
• are not going to be allowed to drive

Wortfehler:

• unresponsible
• work in
• there is .... alot of old people
• Another point to consider is that not only peoply under 25 (---) cause car accidents at night.

Stil:

• also ist stilistisch kein guter Satzanfang
• besser: car accidents als a car accident
• That's why I think that it isn't a good solution for the problem. - Auf wen oder was bezieht sich it?

AstridDerPu