Bitte bewertet dieses "portrait of Nick"
Wir haben in der Schule die Geschichte "Roses and Mobiles" gelesen. Nun sollten wir eine art Personenbeschreibung schreiben. Da wir kaum etwas dazu besprochen habe,gerade was formalien etc. angeht, bin ich leicht ahnunglos. Bitte bewertet den folgenden Text nach Inhalt/Sprache/Grammatik
Dennis Stawiarski Portrait of Nick 16.03.12
Portrait of Toni The person,I want to tell you about is Toni.Her fullname is Toni Goddard and she is Australien.Toni is a character in the story "Roses and Mobiles". She works in a flower-shop as a flower-seller.Toni has got a fiancé ,called Martin. She falls into love with Nick.
Toni seems to have a beautiful smile and a pair of shinning eyes,because Nick says so.
Furthermore her fiancé splits up ,because Toni and her Fiancé had problems with their relationship. Additionaly She falls in love with a guy,called Nick ,who is working in an electronic department store.They get to know each other at her work,when Nick bought some roses for his sister.
Finally Toni seems to be a breathtaking young lady.
Falls euch Verbesserungen ,was Formulierungen bzw. Zeitformen etc. angeht einfallen, bitte ich drum diese zu posten. mfg und vielen dank im vorraus , Dennis S.
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hier meine Korrekturen nach einem ersten, flüchtigen Durchlesen:
Dennis Stawiarski Portrait of Nick 16th March 2012
Portrait of Toni
The person kein KommaI want to tell you about is Toni. Her full name is Toni Goddard and she is Australian.Toni is a character in the story "Roses and Mobiles". She works as a flower seller in a flower shop. Toni has got a fiancé kein Komma called Martin. She falls in love with Nick.
Toni seems to have a beautiful smile and a pair of shinning eyes kein Komma because Nick says so.
Furthermore, her fiancé splits up kein Komma because Toni and her fiancé had problems with their relationship. Additionally, she falls in love with a guy kein Komma called Nick ,who works in an electronic department store. They get to know each other at the flower shop she works at kein Komma when Nick bought some roses for his sister.
Moreover, Toni seems to be a breathtaking young lady.
Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.
Wie sagt man auf deutsch: 1. It seems that will rain and 2.It seems that is rainning?...zur Frage
Englisch text korrigieren?
At first marvelyn hasn't accepted thatvher doctor told her that she is HIV positive but at this moment she realized that her life will change. People around marvelyn avoid her she's living her life like she's already dead also she lostcher streght to live and had suicid thoughts. She often be hates for the virus but she learned how to deal with it marvelyn got a job at a HIV charity there she gave a talk about her illness and orgnasid public speaking events . She learned to kep the head high and not to be avoid of death .
Englisch Präsentation über Amy Winehouse!
Hallo Leute ! Ich werde demnächst in Englisch eine Präsentation über Amy Winehouse halten . Ich benutze dafür PowerPoint. Könnt ihr vielleicht mal kurz durchlesen ,ob das in Ordnung ist oder ,ob da irgendwelche Grammatikfehler sind?
- little facts
- family 3.career
- health 5.cause of death
- first name : Amy Jade
- last name : Winehouse
- zodiac sign : Virgo
- birth date : 14/09/1983
death date : 23/07/2011
- grew up in London with her mother,father and brother
- part of her family are russians
- many of her uncles were professional jazz musicians
- her grandmother Cynthia, was a singer
- her parents separated when she was nine
- lived with her mom
- stayed with her father and his girlfriend on weekends
2007 to 2009, she was married to Blake Fielder-Civil
- she received singing lessons from her grandmother
- With twelve, she changed to a british school for young artist's
- With fiveteen,she had to change the school for the 5th time because of disruptive behavior
- With sixteen,she left the school and played in a jazz orchestra
- With eighteen,she completed her first contract with Iceland records
- 2003,her first album ''Frank'' came out
- she was a drug addict,because of her husband
- Alcohol problems
- mental problems
- self injury
- suffered from bulimia and anorexia
- End of 2008, she separated from Blake
- got clean
cause of death
- she was found dead in her apartment in London when she was twenty-seven
- Reason : alcohol poisoning with 4.16 per thousand in blood
Kann mir vielleicht jemand die summary korrigieren?
The article “Bag lady” from the magazine mail of Sunday by Rebecca Hosking is about the environment and marine pollution Rebecca Hosking went to Hawaii for a documentary for the BBC . She is a lady which is committed to the environment. Also she wanted to watch the beauty of Hawaii. But when she was there she was shocked about the situation. Because they was a lot of dead albatross chicks and a lot of trash which came from the ocean to hawaii
Kann jemand meinen kurzen Englisch Text überfliegen und nach Fehlern suchen?
The main character of the short story „The swim team“ written by Miranda July in 2007, is named Maria, is 22 years old and lives alone in Belvedere, a small city, which is free from swimming pools. There is only a gas station and a market in Belvedere.
She would like to move, but she don’t have enough money (she don’t have a car or phone as well) and she don’t like to ask his parents, although she write every week to them. Her life is very boring (line 9-11), because she have nothing to do and no friends until she listens to a talk of three 80-years-old-persons, called Elizabeth, Kelda and Jack Jack, who can’t swim but they want to. So she suggests to teach them in swimming, because she learned in High School, and later she gives „swimming lessons“ to them twice a week in her living room with bowls of water and a kitchen floor. At the beginning of the story Maria is a little bit shy, she don’t like to speak with other people and starts tob e exited. (line 35-37) But at the end of the story Maria is a strong and purposeful coach, who dares to talk and to say what to do. (line 97-98) These swim lessons gives Maria something to do and she miss the lessons later.
Summary + Characterisation, korrektur, dringend?
Summery's: The shortstory ‚Patricia’ written by Fraser Sutherland deals with two friends, where the boy has a crush on the girl, but never told it, until a spring dance in their school comes. He forces himself to ask her, to go with her to the dance and does it, but she declines his question and at the end, both go not to the dance and go different ways too.
The shortstory ‘Patricia’ written by Fraser Sutherland deals with two friends, where the boy has a crush on the girl, but never told it. In their school there goes a spring dance and the boy forces himself to ask her, to go with her to the dance, does it, but she just diclines his question and at the end, both of them, go not to the dance and go different ways too
was wirkt besser und richtiger, zumindest einigermaßen?
Characterisation The following text is a characterisation of the boy, one of the two main characters in the story ‘Patricia’.
The boy is a student around 16 or 17 years, how it could be assumed, because he is close to his final exams (l. 55) and his voice breaks and so ‘He [is] changing’(fg.l. 19). Furthermore the character seems to be very sporty and active, just look at the scene, where he stands in front of the mirror and ‘[looks] at himself’ and his muscles (fg.l.5) - what means, that he must be ambious too, because he worked hard, to get them. The boy could be characterized as really attentive, how the behavior shows it, related to Patricia (fg. l.7-19). ‘He [spend] an hour talking with her’ and ‘[think] a lot about asking her to go [with him]’, but he have not the guts to say directly, that he wants to go with her to the spring dance, what makes him not self-confident.
To sum it up, the boy is ambious as related to Particia, but calm, without selfconfidence, but (Mir fällt nicht ein, wie es genau zusammenfassen könnte :x)