Ist diese Charakterisierung von "Mr Mumsford" gut ?

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2 Antworten

The short story “ Mr Mumsford” by Larry French is about care and respect (Gerund) other people.

The protagonist and round character, Ralph Mumsford, works as a janitor at a small southern school in America. He is a six feet tall and very black man (Komma) who is not really intelligent.

Ralph Mumsford is calling from (Zeit; Präposition; Passiv) the other teachers and students with (Präposition) the nickname 'Bibs' (Komma) which he do (Grammar) not like. So he decides to kill the principal of the school. After the principal came (Zeit) out of his office, Ralph stepped (Zeit) out in front of him and said (Zeit; Komma) “I come to kill you”(l. 15). That (Wort) shows that he is very direct and have (Grammar) no small talk with the principal. Also (kein Satzanfang) he is really nervous and afraid because he never killed (Zeit) someone (Grammar) before  “Beads of sweat...clenched the bat..”(l.13). Another import fact is that Ralph Mumsford shows interest in the students because he says “Hell, I know more'n half of their names and where they live.” (l.25) He seems to be very religious as he says in line 36 “ A Christian man ought to always eat the suppermeal with his wife.” As (Wort) he is a religious man means that he may not (Grammar) kill some (Grammar) people because in the Bible stands (Ausdruck) that you may not (Grammar) kill other people.

All things considered, Ralph Mumsford seems to be a nervous man (Komma) who is frustrated and injured (Wort) that everyone calling (Grammar) him Bibs. As he does not hide his feeling (Komma) he is revengeful.

Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.

Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com,

für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de.

:-) AstridDerPu

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Kommentar von Boss1998
06.12.2015, 17:43

Danke :)

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Kommentar von AstridDerPu
08.12.2015, 06:08

Schön, dass dir meine Antwort gefallen hat und danke für das Sternchen!

AstridDerPu

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Inhaltlich möchte ich darauf nicht eingehen, weil ich die Story gerade nicht  vorliegen habe.

Korrekturen (vgl. Astrid):

The short story...  care and respect ... The protagonist...(Die Bezeichnung "round character" finde ich an dieser Stelle unpassend).

.. janitor at ... Was soll "very black" bedeuten?

Wortstellung, Grammatik: Mumsford is called (nicknamed) "Bibs" by the  teachers and the students, which he does not like at all.

Ralph steps (simple present!) 

he has never killed anyone before...

"in the Bible stands" ist fürchterliches DeutschlichSchülerKwänglisch. Korrektur: "it says in the Bible that.."

Weitere Fehler: siehe Astrid.

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Kommentar von Boss1998
06.12.2015, 18:02

very black soll bedeuten das seine Hautfarbe schwarz ist

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