wer kennt sich von euch in english gut aus .?

3 Antworten

Hallöchen :)

ich würde folgendes etwas verändern:

Nowadays there are many discussions about school uniforms ( and whether or not they should be worn by students (oder so etwas in der Art) ) . In the following comment, I will discuss advantages and disadvantages about ( the use of) school uniforms. Their(von wem sprichst du hier?) main argument is that uniforms are good for the school because they stop violence (do they?) and help the students to develop a sense of pride.The contra argument is that uniforms cost a lot of money and they are not always suitable for the weather. That´s not the only thing that students have to worry about. They would need to buy additional clothing to wear after school and that is really expensive. From my point of view, the pro argument is really convincing, because bullying could be reduced if students wore the same clothes. Moreover, I think that this is a point which is really important for all of us (genauer!) Additionally, a powerful argument is that they don´t feel the need to think about what to wear in the morning. I´m of the opinion that uniforms are helpful because that could result in the students respecting each other. 

Es klingt alles noch sehr wage und ich würde an deiner Stelle deine Argumente noch genauer erklären und noch weitere Argumenten aufführen. Wenn du pro und Contra Argumente hast, kannst du auch gut "on one hand.....on the other hand" benutzen. Hab jetzt nur die Fehler korrigiert, die mir sofort aufgefallen sind, aber ich würde so den ein oder anderen Satz umschreiben.

Was aber sehr gut ist, ist dass du Wörter wie additionally und Moreover benutzt hast. Durch solche Wörter klingt der Text gleich viel förmlicher. Du kannst das nochmal hervorheben, indem du zb statt can't cannot schreibst oder statt I'm I am.

Ich hoffe, ich könnte dir hiermit helfen :)

Antworten

1

Their main argument is that uniforms good for the school because it stops violence and helps to develop a sense of pride in the students.

The pro-argument for wearing school uniforms mainly is that they reduce violence, promote the sense of belonging to a community and make students proud.

The contra argument is that uniforms cost a lot of money and it´s not always suitable for the weather.

The counter-argument is that school uniforms are really expensive and that one cannot wear them in any weather.

I´m the opinion that uniforms are helpful .....

In my opinion uniforms are helpful ......

  • I will discuss the advantage and disadvantage about school uniforms
  • the main argument is that uniforms are beneficial to the school...
  • The argument against is that
  • ?? That´s not the only think what students have to worry about??
  • They would need
  • In my point of view, the arguments for...
  • Student => student
  • I´m the opinion => In my opinion uniforms are helpful
  • usw. vllt ist noch mehr zu verbessern

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