Motivationsschreiben Auslandssemester [engl.] (Chile)

Verbesserungsvorschläge? Er macht leider keine Absätze.

Dear Sir or Madam, I would like to apply as a proper candidate for a semester abroad at the Universidad Tecnica Federico Santa Maria (UTFSM) in Valparaiso. The purpose of this letter is to present myself and the reasons why I am applying for this university. Currently, I am studying Renewable Energies (M.Sc.) in the first master-semester at the University of Technology in Hamburg-Harburg. During my bachelor’s degree in Mechanical Engineering at the University of Technology in Braunschweig I already specified my study to power engineering and energy engineering. After finishing my bachelor thesis I decided to specialize my studies in renewable energies because I always cared about the protection of our environment and always believed in the possibility of the energy supply by generating it from renewable energy sources. And this is also one of many reasons why I determined for Chile and the UTFSM in Valparaiso. The fact that around fifty percent of the energy supply of Chile is generated by hydropower and the potential of geothermal energy production is high based on the volcanic activities is really interesting for me. A further cause is my drive to learn speaking Spanish in a nearly native way. I started learning Spanish one and a half year ago during my bachelor’s degree and my excitement for this language has increased in this time. Regarding to this point I am very glad that the courses at the UTFSM are Spanish-speaking, because in my opinion the best way to learn a language is to be confronted with it every day. Also the circumstance that the UTFSM is ranked as one of the best universities in Chile was and still is a motivation for my application. But always thinking about my studies wasn’t the only reason for my decision to apply for the UTFSM. I’ve always been fascinated by the South American continent and its culture. That interest and demand truly increased during my first steps of learning Spanish, because my teacher was a native Venezuelan. These little impressions our teacher gave us inspired me to not only visit this continent, but also live there for some time. Since I’ve never been on a different continent before, I would now like to look at a wider picture and learn a really different culture. After my graduation I aim for an employment at a company which acts international and worldwide. The experience of a semester abroad is a step up to the opportunity of such an employment and then hopefully with projects in South America too. At the end I would like to say that I’m convinced that I am well suited for a candidate at the Universidad Tecnica Federico Santa Maria. Because of all the reasons I explained in this letter and also because of myself as an open-minded person, a person with no difficulties in getting in touch with different cultures, different people and different habits, a person who just wants to make the big experience of Valparaiso, Chile and South America.

Answer 1

[Coriolanus]

Es fehlt eine optische Gliederung und eine klare inhaltliche Strukturierung. Aber als Jemand , der etliche Jahre in Chile gelebt hat, fällt mit als wesentlicher Fehler auf: Der Text muss auf Spanisch sein! Schon aus nationalem Stolz legen die lateinamerikanischen Länder sehr viel Wert auf ihre Sprache. Sieh mir nach, dass ich Deinen Text jetzt nicht übersetze. Das würde zu viel Zeit erfordern. Du wirst aber sicher an Deiner Hochschule jemanden aus Spanien oder Lateinamerika finden, der Dir gegen ein kleines Entgelt eine Übersetzung fertigt.