Ist das korrektes Englisch?

Dear xy,

Firstly I would like to thank you for your kind message.

The job offer sounds great. I would like to know more about the conditions.


When are you looking for a salesperson? I'm basically interested, but I was thinking of a part-time job of 20 hours a week. Would that also be in your interest?

Let me know.

Best regards, 
xy

Answer 1

[freunduhelfer1]

Hört sich im großen und ganzen gut an. Würde das gegebenenfalls ein wenig umformulieren

Dear xy,

Firstly I would like to thank you for your kind message.

The job offer sounds great. However, I would like to know more about the conditions.


Also, when are you looking for a salesperson? I am interested, but I was thinking of a part-time job of 20 hours a week. Would that also be in your interest?

Please let me know.

Best regards, 
xy

Verstehe aber nicht ganz, was du mit

When are you looking for a salesperson?

meinst.

Wäre freundlich, wenn du das nochmal erläutern könntest.

Comments

[abcdefgh779]

Zu wann suchst du nach einer Verkäuferin? So in der Art ist es gemeint

[freunduhelfer1]

@abcdefgh779

Vielleicht vor das "when" noch ein "for". Würde dann jedenfalls mehr Sinn ergeben.

Answer 2

[earnest]

Ja, das ist korrektes Englisch.

Du solltest aber ganz unten ein "Please" einfügen.

Gruß, earnest

Answer 3

[musso]

Ich würde ein paar Formulierungen ändern.

Dear xy,

Let me first thank you for your kind message.

The job offer sounds great. However, I would like to learn more about the conditions.

I would like to know your relevant date for employing a salesperson. I am truly interested, but considering a part-time job of 20 hours a week. Would that meet your demands as well?

Please let me know.

Best regards,

xy