Hallöchen, ich bin in der 10. Klasse und muss morgen in einer Schulaufgabe einen Comment schreiben, bin in Englisch aber richtig schlecht. Als Übung habe ich jetzt noch einmal einen geschrieben ( Thema hatte ich schon einmal haben es nie verbessert, habe mir da auch nicht viel Mühe gegeben) und habe mich richtig angestrengt und will deshalb wissen was daran denn noch so alles verbesserungswürdig bzw. falsch ist. Wäre nett wenn jemand der gut Englisch kann das verbessern könnte??
Hier der Text: Yesterday I watched the talkshow “the healthy one”, in which they discussed about smoking on public places, or even in restaurants and other rooms, in which the air can‘t circulate. Many people hate the smoke everywhere especially parents with small children, but the smokers often don’t care about that problem, or even don’t know the risks. This topic is quite a serious matter and deserves, to be given more profound thought.
One the one hand the smokers often point out that it’s very relaxing to smoke and that you feel much better than before, especially if you had a stressful day, but on the other hand it’s very unhealthy. You can get for example a lung cancer or also a heart disease, because of the substances you inhale. These things are very dangerous, so that it’s no rarity that people die in reason of smoking. Another negative argument is that it’s very annoying for non-smoking people, because they also have to inhale the smoke. This is called passive smoking and it’s also very unhealthy, because the substances of the cigarette can also reach their lungs. It’s worse in rooms, where the air and therefor the smoke can’t get out of this room. Furthermore the most mothers doesn’t want their children to inhale this smoke, so they doesn’t go to restaurants and let them have no contact to smokers.
As a result I can say that it’s better for the smokers and also for all other people to deny smoking. But maybe the persons who are addicted to cigarettes could smoke in special zones outside or for instance in special rooms in the restaurant, so that the people, who doesn’t like it needn’t have contact to them.