Kann mir jemand bei meinem Englisch-Monolog helfen?

Hallo ich habe Morgen meine Englisch Monolog Prüfung und würde mich freuen wenn sich jemand die Zeit nähme, sich den text kurz durch zu lesen und mich auf Fehler aufmerksam machen würde! Danke für jede Hilfe

Hello,

My name is Desi and I’m 14 years old. I was born in ~~~~~~~, and now, I live in a House in ~~~~~~ with my Family. ~~~~~~ is a small Village in Baden-Württemberg, where you can do a lot of things. I have one older Brother, and one older Sister called Renè and Linda. They work as a Painter and an old people’s nurse. Actress would be the job of my dreams. My favourite actors are Robert Pattinson and Sandra Bullock. I like their films. I’ve never met them before, but if I have a Chance to meet them, I wouldn’t say no. I think it’s an Honor to meet such Prominent People. But I think they’re unattainable, because they have Private Bodyguards. For sure I now that my dream is really hard to reach, but first I wanted to do anyway with the School further. In my Free time I like to meet my Friends or some Stuff. And I often walk with an Foster dog. I walk with him, because his owner has a damaged Knee. The dog’s name is Bobby. His fur is white and he has black round button eyes. He is an Russian Breed of Dog. Now he is 3 years old and the owner adopted him with 4 weeks. When I walk with him we often go out on field. For me it’s like a little Pocket money enhance. But I do it with pleasure. And the owner is also very nice to me. And about Animals, I have one dog called Sunny his fur are Black and on his legs he is brown, and one cat called Beverly her fur is complete Black, just a part of her neck is white. Her breed is Main coon. Normal Housecats are much smaller than Main Coons. This Cat species is one of the oldest natural breeds in North America. The fur colors can be very different. From complete Black to complete white or mixed with all colors. Months ago I had a second Main Coon cat but he unfortunately died. In my free time I also like to hear Music. I don’t like rap but I like charts music from Taylor Swift or other popular Singers. At the Moment my favourite Song is Hello from Adele. She is so famous. After under one week her Song was the first in the Charts. And My hobbies are Painting. I like to Paint without a any Photos. But if it looks in the end as well as I want is another question. Often I try to draw Animes or Mangas, but they look so bad. I see lots of photos on Instagram, where People draw Animes characters in the Film. The Pictures look so easy to draw, and when I start drawing, I figure out that I can’t really draw. But I Still paint no matter if it’s look bad. Because I try to learn it. So just learning by doing. I like the Pictures from Bob Ross. I often saw him on TV, where he painted Landscape Pictures that looked so real. But now he’s not longer alive. What I also like, are Manga or Anime Pictures. I can’t draw the characters but just watching at pretty Pictures is also satisfying.

Thank you for your attention