Ist diese E-Mail auf Englisch richtig und höflich?

Sie geht an einen potentiellen Betreuer meiner Abschlussarbeit. Dieser hat schon eine andere Arbeit von mir betreut; in diesem Rahmen haben wir angefangen, uns zu Duzen.

Vielen Dank!

"Hello XXX,

I hope you are well.

I am interested in XXX, which is why I am doing my master's thesis in the framework of the XXX (project) at the XXX (institute) (using XXX data and with XXX as second supervisor).

I would like to ask you whether, for example XXX (date) or at a later date, there would be a possibility of you being my first supervisor.

I would also like to thank you again for XXX; it really helped me a lot with my XXX application.

I hope you have a good week.

Best,

XXX"

Comments

[NeugierFuchs]

könntest du den 1 Paragraph bitte auf Deutsch erklären?

[verreisterNutzer]

Ich sage, dass ich mich für XY interessiere, weshalb ich meine Masterarbeit im Rahmen vom Projekt XY am Institut XY (mit XY Daten und mit XY als zweiten Betreuer) schreibe :-)

Answer 1

[ErstKommIch]

"Hello XXX,

I trust this email finds you well.

I am pursuing my interest in XXX and have chosen it as the focus of my master's thesis, which will be conducted within the framework of the XXX project at the XXX institute. I will be using XXX data, and XXX will act as my secondary supervisor.

I wanted to inquire if you might be available to serve as my primary supervisor, perhaps beginning on XXX date or at a later time convenient to you.

Additionally, I wanted to extend my gratitude once more for your help with XXX. Your guidance significantly assisted my application for XXX.

I wish you a pleasant week ahead.

Best,

XXX"

Comments

[verreisterNutzer]

Vielen Dank! Das klingt echt super

Answer 2

[NeugierFuchs]

ich würde trotzdem mit

"Dear XXX" anfangen

"I hope you are doing well." klingt mMn besser

Den 2. Paragraph würde ich vereinfachen. Etwas wie:

"I wanted to ask if you could be my first supervisor for this project. XXX (date) or later. What would suit you best?"

"I hope you have a nice day/week"

Comments

[verreisterNutzer]

Vielen Dank! :-)

[NeugierFuchs]

@verreisterNutzer

würde auch Framework ersetzen durch as part of

I am interested in XXX, which is why I am doing my master's thesis as part of the XXX (project) at the XXX (institute) (using XXX data and with XXX as second supervisor).

Answer 3

[Sweety432]

Ja klingt gut