Host Family letter?

Könnte jemand meinen Host Family letter korrigieren für mein Auslandsjahr?

Dear Host Family,

My name is …. and I am … years old. I would like to introduce myself to let you know who I am.

I live with my parents and my little sister in ….. , a small town south of Hamburg. Although my sister and I have different interests, we enjoy spending time together. We live in a beautiful house with a big garden where my family and I like to play. My sister and I each have our own room.

In my free time I love to meet up with my friends or go out for a nice meal with my family. Because I like to do sports, I play tennis with friends, but also golf with my father. Furthermore, I take care of my riding participation. I prefer to go horseback riding with friends in the forest or in the fields, but it's also a lot of fun to do dressage or jumping lessons. What I really like about the hobby is spending time with the horses and taking on responsibility. What I prefer about playing tennis is the discipline that you build up. I also enjoy playing against other people. I love going on vacation with my family and sometimes with my friends.

A normal day in my school week starts at 6:00 o'clock. After I wake up I get ready for the day and leave the house at 7:00 o'clock and then I go to the train station and wait for my train. Then I take the train to … , the next larger city to … . After I arrived at Lüneburg I only need to walk ten minuts or I take the bus. The school starts at 8:00 o'clock until 13-20. At school I meet a lot of my friends and I learn a lot of new things, which is mostly very interesting and a lot of fun. After school I need to rush to the train to don't miss it. When I arrive at home I eat lunch and start to do my homework. After that, I have some free time that I use to go to the horses, for example. I usually go to bed at 9.30 a.m., before that I like to read or just relax a bit.

I'm drawn to America because I want to get to know a new country with its interesting and beautiful sides. I am also interested in the traditions that differ from ours. I would also like to meet new people and make friends and try new things.

In general, I am a very humorous person and like to learn new things. I've always dreamed of traveling to America and I'm glad to have this chance now.

I really enjoy my life in Germany and I'm pretty sure that I will miss my family and my friends a lot.

But I know that this experience of one year with you will be more than worth leaving my home. I am so excited about my year abroad and would be glad to spend this time in America.

Yours …

Answer 1

[AstridDerPu]

Hallo,

ein paar kleine Fehler sind enthalten, aber du willst ja durch dein Auslandsjahr dein Englisch noch verbessern. Deshalb belasse ich es bei 3 Punkten:

• Wenn hinter der Grußformel ein Komma steht (optional) muss auch hinter der Schlussformel ein Komma stehen - also entweder oben und unten ein Komma oder weder noch.
• Süd- oder Nordamerika?
• Denke an die 24-h-Uhr. Interessant auch, dass du um halb morgens ins Bett gehst.

AstridDerPu