Hallo,
ich soll den Brief an eine schon verstorbene Mutter schreiben.
Dear Mom,
It´s been a while that I have talk to you. I might be late, but I just want to tell you about my feelings and thoughts about our relationship. We both know we had a difficult time toghether, especially after our conversation about my piano lessons. This conversation changed our relationship forever.
We never talked about it again, but mom , I want you to know that I am sorry for the words I have used. It was never my intention to hurt your feelings. I know my siblings mean a lot to you, but you know sometimes you say things without even meaning them because you are so angry and frustrated. I was just so tired of the piano lessons and wanted to be myself. The daughter you wished me to be was not me, mom. I never wanted to play the piano, I never wanted you to test me every night before going to bed and I never asked you for enroll me for the talentshow. Did you know how much I cried? I cried a lot, mom, a lot. I hated myself, when I looked in the mirror, I saw a ugly girl who was weak and could not fight. But I knew that deep inside of me was a girl who was strong and powerful. I always wished to be this girl but infront of you I could not. Every time you stood infront of me, I lost my strong and powerful personality. I was so scared of you because you slapped me when I tried to say something against your idea of turning me into a child prodigy. I know that I crossed the line when I mentioned my siblings, but those words were necesarry to end this whole situation. If I did not say these words, I would probably still play the piano and would not be my true-self.
I think, we both made mistakes. Maybe I could have told you something else to stop the piano lessons or tell dad that I really don´t want to do this anymore. But it was also your fault too. You tried to change my personality. I never understood why you are so strict to me. But now that I have grown up myself, I start to understand you. You lost your family in China and came to the United States and heared about the American Dream. You wanted me to archieve it, because I was your only child. You could not understand why I was dispbedient because you always listend to your parents when they told you something to do. I think that was the problem. I was born in the USA and knew how the Western parents raised their children. I also wanted to be raised like that but you only knew the Chinese style of parenting. You was not familiar with the Westerrn style. That´s why we both did not get along with each other that well, we both had different mindsets. I wanted to be my own person but you wanted me to do follow your plans. We were two different kinds of persons, but we are still mother and daughter. You are still a part of my life and we both belong to each other. Even though you are not here anymore, I hope you forgive me for the hurtful comment I made. I also forgive you for the things you have done to me.