Hast du super gemacht! Habe keinen wirklichen Fehler gefunden, nur Anmerkungen:
Mumbai (Bombay) is the capital of the Indian state of Maharashtra. The name Bombay derives from the Portuguese Bom Bahia and means "beautiful bay". Since 1997, the city officially bears the Indian name Mumbai, previously: Bombay. It is located on the West Coast of the peninsula India in the Arabian Sea and extends over a series of islands. With around 14 million inhabitants, Mumbai is the largest metropolis of the subcontinent and one of the largest cities in the world. Mumbai has the most important commercial ports in India and one of the largest natural ports in the world. With more than 21 million inhabitants, the metropolitan region is the fifth largest metropolitan area in the world. There are many attractions in Mumbai for example, the Gateway of India is a monument in the shape of a triumphal arch on Thane Creek in Mumbai India or the Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj Terminus, also called Mumbai CST,( until 1996 Victoria Terminus - macht den Satz irgendwie verwirrend), is an Indian Railways train station located in Mumbai, in the South of the city. It is one of the largest and busiest train stations in the world and has been a UNESCO World Heritage Site since 2004.
Du könntest dir vielleicht nochmal englische Kommasetzung angucken, denn deine ist sehr deutsch, aber ich kann dir das nicht wirklich erklären.
