Ist dieser Text auf Englisch richtig ( wichtig für Arbeit )?

Ist dieser Text hier grammatikalischen richtig ? - (Englisch, Klassenarbeit, texte korrigieren)

2 Antworten

mustn't bedeutet "dürfen nicht", du meinst aber wahrscheinlich "müssen nicht", da würde ich "don't have to" oder so schreiben.

haven't much time -> don't have much time

CamaroGTR 
Fragesteller
 11.12.2016, 15:17

Ok ich danke dir

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Ganz wichtig:

- "must not" heißt "nicht dürfen"

- deine Satzstruktur ist teilweise etwas kompliziert, belasse es lieber bei einfachen Sätzen

- es heißt nicht "children haven't so much time", denn du brauchst ein Hilfsverb. Folglich: "children don't have so much time" 

- deine Satzanfänge zu neuen Gesichtspunkten sind sehr wiederholend; benutze verschiedene!

- so nebenbei: wenn du immer von "kids" und "they" sprichst, solltest du nicht einfach so mitten im Satz auf "he" wechseln

Ich habe dir hier mal kurz meine knapp verbesserte Form angehängt. Ich habe an den Satzanfängen an sich nicht viel verändert (sollte man aber machen!), sondern nur versucht den Sinn deiner Sätze etwas kürzer zusammenzufassen.

Einen schönen Tag! :)


Should children have a job?

Do you think it's ok that some children have a job during their school semester?

My first argument for teen jobs is that they earn their own money and because they have earned it solely by themselves, they can do with it whatever they want.

My second argument for teen jobs is that they don't have to ask their parents for money.

However, one argument against it is that the children don't have so much time for school anymore since they are busy working. An example for that is homework: 

Because they are occupied with their job most of their free time, on some days they might struggle to do all their homework. On top of that, the desire to get them done in a proper way decreases as well.

My second argument against it is that the earnings of such a teen job are not sufficient for a teenager anyway, which means that asking their parents for some extra money might be the best solution for them.

My final argument against teen jobs is that they are way more advantageous for the employers than they are for the children because they don't have to pay a kid like an adult.

To put it in a nutshell, I'd say that if teenagers desperately want to work, they shouldn't do that longer than two hours a week to ensure that they have enough time for school. Still, they could just ask their parents for some extra money.


CamaroGTR 
Fragesteller
 11.12.2016, 15:49

Ich danke dir vielmals du hast mir 3/4 meiner Arbeit gerettet 😅

Ich wünsche dir noch einen schönen Sonntag !

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