told your mom i’m doing fine,

she said “you always had that shine”

cut my bangs, dyed my soul red

left your texts forever unread

i laughed with friends ‘til half past two

not ‘cause i forgot about you—

just felt better without the weight

of saying “sorry i came too late”

i got a glow-up, got a grip

got receipts and glossy lips

your name? oh, i don’t say it—

except when i accidentally play it...

(leise, geflüstert)

“ugh... still on that playlist.”

i’m sorry—

for nothing really (kinda)

you were a storm, i made it sunny

i’m not bitter, just better

with a touch of maybe

you were the fall, i was the landing

it’s not love, just crash-standing

sry not sorry—

but still kinda.

wore your hoodie as a joke

then cried in it (but no one spoke)

left your necklace on a train

felt like freedom, felt like pain

i talk big, i sing it loud

but whisper truths behind the crowd

said “i’m healed” with smoky eyes

but flinched when someone said your sign

i burnt our pics with glitter flames

made your memory into games

but the winner still feels small—

guess i didn’t win at all

(Hintergrundstimme, melancholisch)

“i’d still answer if you called.”

i’m sorry—

for who i used to be

the girl who cried too quietly

you broke me like a lyric

and now i sing too carefully

i’m shining, yeah, i’m fine and free

but i still shake at 3:03

sry not sorry—

but still kinda.

(gesprochen, fast wie Gedankenstrom)

i don’t miss you

i swear—

i don’t miss you

not the way you said i would

not the way i used to...

but maybe

maybe just a little

on mondays

on bridges

in silence

or in songs i write

just not tonight.

*(Hintergrund: „but still kinda… but still kinda…”)

i got new boots, a better bed

new dreams, no space in my head

i laugh louder, fall less deep

and i finally get some sleep

(gleichzeitig, leise überlagert, verzerrt oder flüsternd)

“still think of you when the moon’s too bright”

“woke up missing your voice... again”

“maybe i’m not as fine as i said”

“but still kinda…”

(letzte Linie – alle Stimmen zusammen, wie ein bittersüßer Chor)

sry not sorry— but still kinda.

Was kann man machen, wenn man trotz Therapie Panikattacken hat