Englisch Text verbessern fictional text?
Hallo liebes Team,
ich wollte fragen, ob ihr diesen Text von der sprachlichen Richtigkeit her einmal lesen könntet:
Ich entschuldige mich schon mal für meine Sauklaue 😂
Vielen Dank :)
How technology is changing society
1. In my opinion the expression “the ultimate search tool” define a program which can find all things and people who are living and existing on the planet
2. Soul Search is a program by the tech company “Circle” which has over a billion users. With this program you can find all people over the world, because of the high amount of users. If you want to find a guilty person, you can search this offender through this program and everyone who reads this message will post pictures information’s or locations about the committer.
3a.) In the following I am going to examine the language and tone Mae uses to manipulate the audience. First she states that they will find a person who has damaged the community but you can also search people who are not guilty and don’t want to be found. Moreover she uses a giant timer which underlines the importance of this event. The feed of many students emphasizes this. Furthermore she states jokes like “She looks like the Scarecrow from Wizard of Oz” which makes the event more interesting. The timer also raises the tension. At the end of the excerpt the audience is enthusiastic and this has the effect that all people over the world want to be a part of this program.
3b.) I choose the question “Are we sure we want to find this hag? She looks like the Scarecrow from Wizard of Oz” as an example of irony. The meaning behind it is that all people know all about the community and nothing can be concealed by a person. This is a great problem because we all want to have our own privacy. I think this program is well if it is used for the search of criminals but not for everyone. So it should be limited and only used for important occasions.
4. In the following I am going to describe the cartoon. In the foreground you can see a cliff which border on the sea. Moreover there are hamsters which are jumping of the cliff into the sea. The first hamster shouts “I’m natural leader. I was the first one over the cliff”. This underlines that they are not thinking and only adapt the behavior of the others. With reference to the excerpt it shows that due to the hasty behavior of this community there are mighty threats in the future. One example is that if several people see a wanted person who is not guilty, they purpose this person and the person dies for example through a car accident.
2 Antworten
Hallo,
es sind eine Reihe verschiedenster Fehler enthalten.
Mal ganz davon ab, dass man selbst das vergrößerte Bild nur schlecht lesen kann, wirst du dir für eine Korrektur schon die Mühe machen müssen, den Text hier reinzuhacken. So ist eine Korrektur viel zu mühsam und aufwändig!
AstridDerPu
Könntest du mir vielleicht schreiben, ob das noch heute bei dir geht? Ich müsste das nähmlich heute absenden. Wäre kein Problem, ich könnte auch noch woanders fragen 👍
Könntest du das noch verbessern oder bis du momentan zu beschäftigt?
erster Absatz: define mit s
letzter Absatz: the first hamster says