English Poem Analyse

Hi liebe community. Ich habe hier den größten Teil meiner Gedichtsanalyse. Habt ihr vielleicht Verbesserungsvorschläge ? Was könnte ich besser machen? Wo habe ich denn Fehler gemacht ? :) Vielen dank

the poem " Presents from my Aunts in Pakistan" by Monisa Alvi is about a young girl of mixed race. She fells English, but she is attracted to Pakistan. The young girl describes the gifts from her aunts in Pakistan. The girl finds the presents beautiful , but she doesn´t feel comfotable while she wears them. The text is written in a neutral English. The style is simple and clear. Moreover, the test consits mainly of short sentences. The poem is written in the first person. The girl is remembering her memories thats why it is written in the past. The fisr stanza starts very positive because the girl is happy of getting presents , but then she realizes that the clothing are unsually for her. She says ......, which means that she is pleases about the presents because the peacock stands for beauty. Furthermore, she uses the colour orange, which stand for optimism. I get from my homeland al lot of presents, which are beautiful. In verse six and seven there is written..... , which shows that she fells uncomfortable with these clothing. In additin, ......... depicts that she feels like she doesn't fit in the culture of her family. As i mentioned before, I get from my homeland a lot of presents, but I do not wear them because i can not identify myself withe clothes. The verse ............. showas zjaz sje jas a lack of freedom and maturity. The metaphor....... is meaningful and depicts how she does notz belong in these clothes. She feels like an outcast. She is not accustomed of wearing these clothing because she wears only British. The schoolfriend of the girl prefers to see her weekend clothes because her sakwar kameez did not impress her. This is a proof for the girl that the clothing from Pakistan don't impress people with other cultures. I have strangeful orbitals frommmy homeland, which are not so beautiful in the eyes of others. She admires the miniature glasswork quite often. She takes photios in the tiny mirrors, seeing broken images of herself evocative her identity crises, and mirrorinh the lack of her personality. She uses the word " costume" in oder to describe her feelings while she wears the clothes.v The girl was taken away from her native country a a very young age. She has no a lot of contact with her Pakastani bakcground. For example my brother was born in .... but after one year he and my cousin came to Germany.

Answer 1

[MrsNobody]

• Groß und Kleinschreibung beachten, besonders am Satzanfang!!!
• Was sich auch am Anfang immer gut anhört: The story deals with the problem of racism and shows this with the example of the girl xyz
• She FEELS English?!
• describes the gifts WHICH SHE GETS from her aunts WHO ARE LIVING in Pakistan
• the girl IS AMAZED by the gifts
• comfoRtable
• while she wears them (clothes?!?!)
• schreib niemals "the text" sondern immer "the poem"!!!!
• gib Beispiele und zeilenangaben, warum das Gedicht neutral, etc ist!
• THE POEM CONSISTS OUT OF
• the girl is happy ABOUT getting presents
• the CLOTHES
• she is pleaseD about...
• which standS for...
• a lot
• she doesn't fitS
• in additiOn

Eigentlich hättest du es nicht verdient, dass jemand dir den Text berichtigt, weil dort wirklich noch so viele Fehler drin sind, und ich rede nicht von grammatikalischen Fehlern...

Answer 2

[AstridDerPu]

the poem " Presents from my Aunts in Pakistan" by Monisa Alvi is about a young girl of mixed race. She fells English, but she is attracted to Pakistan. The young girl describes the gifts from her aunts in Pakistan. The girl finds the presents beautiful , but she doesn´t feel comfotable while she wears them. The text is written in a neutral English. The style is simple and clear. Moreover, the test consits mainly of short sentences. The poem is written in the first person. The girl is remembering her memories thats why it is written in the past. The fisr stanza starts very positive because the girl is happy of getting presents , but then she realizes that the clothing are unsually for her. She says ......, which means that she is pleases about the presents because the peacock stands (besser Plural) for beauty. Furthermore, she uses the colour orange, which stand for optimism. I get from my homeland al lot of presents, which are beautiful (Satzstellung). In verse six and seven there is written (Stil)..... , which shows that she fells uncomfortable with these clothing. In additin, ......... depicts that she feels like she doesn't (Kurzformen sollten in der Schriftsprache nicht verwendet werden.) fit in the culture of her family. As i mentioned before, I get from my homeland a lot of presents, but I do not wear them because i can not identify myself withe clothes. The verse ............. showas zjaz sje jas a lack of freedom and maturity. The metaphor....... is meaningful and depicts how she does notz belong in these clothes. She feels like an outcast. She is not accustomed of wearing these clothing because she wears only British Hier fehlt etwas.. The schoolfriend of the girl (besser: s-genitive) prefers to see her Hier fehlt etwas. weekend clothes because her sakwar kameez did not impress her. This is a proof for the girl that the clothing from Pakistan don't (s.o.) impress people with other cultures. I have strangeful
orbitals frommmy homeland, which are not so beautiful in the eyes of others. She admires the miniature glasswork quite often. She takes photios
in the tiny mirrors (?), seeing broken images of herself evocative her identity crises (= Plural), and mirrorinh the lack of her personality. She uses the word " costume" in oder to describe her feelings while she wears the clothes.v The girl was taken away from her native country a a very young age. She has no a lot of contact with her Pakastani bakcground. Anbindung For example my brother was born in .... but after one year he and my cousin came to Germany.

Warum zwischendurch immer my?

Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.

Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.eu,

für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de.

AstridDerPu

Answer 3

[exnothekiller]

edit : shows that she has a lack of.....