Profil von Saphira24

Frage

25.10.2011, 16:07

Ich muss in Englisch einen Tagebuch über unsere Londonfahrt schreiben und wollte mal fragen ob jemand den ersten Tag Korrektur liest. Danke.

Dear Diary, Today we started our trip from ....to London. It was a long journey, but the bus was fantastic. We met in front of our school at 4.45 am. Everybody of us was excited because the day of the departure had arrived. At 5.00 am we started our trip to London. We drove through Germany, the Netherlands, Belgium and France. First we thought, the drive would be very boring, but it wasn't. Our bus ride was very funny. We sung many songs together, listened to music and played games. In Calais we took the ferry to Dover. The passage was about 1 hour long. The size of the ferry and the view of deck fascinated me. At about 21.30 pm we arrived at Maidenhead. All host mums and dads waited there and the students in the bus were getting excited. Everybody thought which mom is my mom?orI want to have this dad. We got our pogs and waited. We waited and waited. .....and me got nervous. We got to know our mum, Mrs. .....and her child, and drove to her flat. The flat was nice. Small, but new fixtures. In the living room our mum introduced her son to us and told about her family. Their son, is five years old and her husband is at the moment in Germany to the army. She herself comes from Somalia and lives for 7 years in London. Also we told about our families and the bus ride. At 11 pm .... and me went to bed. Everybody had his own room. It was a hard day for us and we only wanted to sleep! Although I am very tired, I still can't sleep. I hope my second day in London will be very good. Good night!

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Antwort

von Saphira24

27.11.2011, 15:50

So, hier mal meine "Korrektur" :)

Dear diary, today we started our trip from ... to London. It was a long journey, but the coach was fantastic. We met us in front of our school at 4.45 a.m. Everybody was excited because today was the day of departure. At 5.00 a.m. we started our trip to London. We drove through Germany, the Netherlands, Belgium and France. At first, we thought the drive would be very boring, but it wasn't. Our bus ride was very funny. We sung a lot of songs, listened to music and played games. At Calais we took the ferry to Dover. The ride was about 1 hour. The size of the ferry and the view at deck fascinated me. At about 21.30 p.m. we arrived at Maidenhead. All host mums and dads waited there and the students at the bus get excited. Everybody thought "Who is mom?" or "I want to have this dad". We got our suitcases (wenn du Koffer meinst, ich wusste nämlich nicht, was "Pogs" heißt) an waites. We waited and waited. ... and I got nervous. We got to know our host mum, Mrs (ohne Punkt dahinter!) ... and her kid. then we drove to her flat. The flat was nice. Small, but new fixtures. In living room, our host mum introduced her son and told us something about her family. Their son is five years old and her husband is in Germany by the army at the moment. She comes from Somalia and lives for 7 years in London. We also told something about our families and the bus trip. At 11 p.m. ... and I went to bed. Everybody had his own room. It was a adamantine day and we just wanted to sleep. Although I'm quite tired, I cannot sleep. I hope my second day in London will be yery good. Good night!

Ich hoffe, ich konnte helfen! :)

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