Hier mein Verbesserungsvorschlag... war teilweise nicht möglich deine Sätze zu behalten... musste etwas löschen und umändern... ist jetzt immer noch nicht 100prozentig, aber def. besser als vorher!!!
The therm "The American Dream" was coined by the Historian James Truslow.
He explained why millions of people left their home countries to start a new life in America.
But the "American Dream" itself is even much older.
There were several reasons why people migrated to America, eg. longing for a better life, freedom of religion, wealth, liberty as well as the craving for democracy. Although many settlers were poor it wasn't impossible to become rich and happy. However, they had to work hard for their aims in cosideration of the "American Dream". But money wasn't the only reason for the settlers leaving their mother countries. Also peace, the political situation in their home countries, the longing for democracy and the freedom of religion were important factors as well. They hoped that migrating to America would change their lives. So, many Americans shared the "American Dream" although defining it differently. Today, many people disagree about the "American Dream". Some poeple think its an important value and some think it's just an illusion.
- viele Fehler kannst du leicht vermeiden: Bsp: mal schreibst du American groß, mal klein...--> immer groß!!!
- American Dream ist ein feststehender Begriff --> immer groß, nicht variieren, dann hast du def. mindestens einen Fehler drin
- Adjektive wie lucky... niemals groß schreiben!
- viel Verständnisprobleme von Wörtern
Bsp: luck/happy, freedom/liberty/peace --> schau mal die genauen Bedeutungen nach
- Manche Sätze ergeben absolut keinen Sinn --> schwer dir da nen Tip zu geben. Bsp: 1. Satz
- Der Inhalt ist absolut dünn... man merkt, dass du dir nicht viel Mühe gegeben hast...ständige Wiederholung des Inhalts
Bsp: For a better live, for their religion, for money, for freedom and in view of the political and democracy situation.
Dann exakt dasselbe nochmal:
because of money, no they did it also for freedom which they had not in their own nation or for the religion which they couldn't believe and because of the bad political situation in their own country and the hope of fair democracy.
- dringend Zeiten und Satzstellungsregeln nochmal anschauen
Will echt net böse sein, aber egal welches Schuljahr du bist, das wäre in jedem Falle ne echt miese Note gewesen...
Aber: Lass dich nicht unterkriegen... das wird schon :)
Liebe grüße