Englischer Kurztext - "Caribbean London"

Hello English freaks :D Ich habe einen kleinen Text über "Caribbean London" vorbereitet. Über Feedback, Kritik und Korrekturen würde ich mich freuen :)

There are many British citizens who have their own countries belonging to the Commonwealth. Black people maily came from the Caribbean. Afro-Caribbeans are slaves from Africa who were transported to the Caribbean by British ships. In 1807, Britain stopped the slave trade.

London has been completely changed by the Caribbean people. They have influenced the social, economic and cultural life in London.

After the World War II, the British economy needed workers.The Caribbeans settled to London in larger numbers in the late 1940s to rebuild a post-war nation in London, they came with passion and excitement. But they had to face a different Britian and were very disappointed; Founding a home was not that easy. The rooms were often in bad condition and the rents were high. They had to do work with low wages that nobody else wanted to do. Police protection was not adequate so they had to deal with physical and verbal abuse.

Thus they developed selg-help organisations. Later, they created their own first Black newspaper "The voice".

They achieved their own buisness in London, running their own shops, restaurant or nightclubs. Others have achieved high postions in public life. The strength of the Caribbean peopel can be felt everywhere in London.

Answer 1

[Bswss]

Siehe koschutnigs Beitrag.

Korrekturen Deines Textes (nur eine Auswahl):

There are many British citizens who have their roots in countries belonging..

After World War II (ohne "the")

The Caribbeans moved to London...

They had to do work nobody else wanted to do, and at very low wages.

businesses

people

Answer 2

[AstridDerPu]

Hallo,

folgendes ist mir beim ersten, flüchtigen Durchlesen aufgefallen:

There are many British citizens who have their own countries belonging to (Ausdruck) the Commonwealth. Black people mainly came from the Caribbean. Afro-Caribbeans were slaves from Africa who were transported to the Caribbean by British ships. In 1807, Britain stopped the slave trade.

London has been completely changed by the Caribbean people. They have influenced the social, economic and cultural life in London.

After --- World War II, the British economy required workers.The Caribbeans settled in London in larger numbers in the late 1940s to rebuild a post-war nation ??? in London, they came with passion and excitement. But they had to face a different Britian (Ausdruck) and were very disappointed.; Founding a home was not so easy. The rooms were often in bad condition and the rents were high.

They had to do work that nobody else wanted to do for low wages. Police protection was not adequate so they had to cope with physical and verbal abuse. Thus they developed self-help organisations. Later, they created their own first black newspaper "The voice". They established their own buisnesses in London, ran their own shops, restaurants or nightclubs. Others have achieved (Ausdruck) high positions in public life. The strength of the Caribbean people can be felt everywhere in London.

Es ist nur die Grammatik und Rechtschreibung zum Inhalt und den Fakten kann ich nichts sagen.

:-) AstridDerPu

Answer 3

[verreisterNutzer]

Ich weis nicht ob das jetzt zu spät ist aber ich geb trotzdem mal meinen Senf dazu XD Ich finde den Text wirklich gut geschrieben. Es gibt jedoch ein paar kleine Fehler die aber weiter nicht schlimm sind:

Zeile 12 finding, founding gibt es nicht nur found - Vergangenheitsform.

Zeile 15 aduquated

Zeile 18 business

Und vielleicht noch eine kleine Satz Änderung am Anfang des Textes:

Afro-Caribbeans came as slaves from Africa to Britain over seas / transported by ships.

Es ist natürlich toll was Koschutnig aus deinem Text gemacht hat, jedoch ist das nicht sehr hilfreich. Du musst deinen eigenen Schreibstil entwickeln und das lernt man nur wenn man selber Texte schreibt (ebenso wie Satzbau). Zudem werden Lehrer recht schnell stutzig wenn sie solche ausgefeilten Texte lesen, die meisten kennen den Schreibstil ihrer Schüler recht gut.

Wenn du wüsstest was bei uns in Englisch grad los ist wegen angeblicher Plagiate XD

Answer 4

[Koschutnig]

There are many people in Britain from member countries of the Commonwealth of Nations, which had grown out of the former British Empire, people such as Indian Hindus and Sikhs, or Pakistani, Malayans and Blacks, who all look quite different from the Anglo-Saxon English

Britain's black people mainly come from the Caribbean. These Afro-Caribbeans are the descendants of slaves from Africa who had been transported to the Caribbean by British ships before Britain stopped the slave trade in 1807.

After World War II, the British economy needed workers. When the Caribbeans moved to London in larger numbers in the late 1940s wanting to help rebuilding a post-war nation, they came with passion and excitement. But they had to face a different Britain from the one they had expected to find, and were very disappointed. Life was far less easy-going than back home, and founding a home was not that easy. The rooms were often in bad condition and the rents were high. They had to do work that nobody else wanted to do for very low wages. Police protection was not adequate, and they had to deal with physical and verbal abuse.

Thus they developed self-help organisations and soon even established their own paper, "The Voice", which was the first Black English newspaper. Since genuine integration proved difficult, the Caribbeans went about setting up their own business structure in London, running their own shops, their own restaurants, or their own nightclubs. Others have achieved high postions in public life.

Nowadays the strength of the Caribbean people can be felt everywhere in London. They have influenced London's social, economic and cultural life. Britain's capital has been completely changed by the Caribbean people.

Comments

[LaraSweetie15]

Du hast ja den text ganz verändert o.O Aber ich bin beeindruckt! :) Keep it up

Answer 5

[zwergsaeger]

There are many British citizens who have come home countries of their own which are members of belonging to the Commonwealth. Black people mainly have come from the Caribbean. The Afro-Caribbeans' anchestors were slaves from Africa who were transported to the Caribbean by British ships. In 1807, Britain stopped the slave trade.

London has been completely changed by the Caribbean people. They have influenced the social, economic and cultural life in London.

After [---]World War II, [---] British economy needed workers.[---] Caribbeans immigrated to Britain and mainly to London in larger numbers in the late 1940s to rebuild a post-war nation [---], They came with passion and excitement. But they had to face a different Britian and were very disappointed; Founding a home was not that easy. The rooms were often in bad condition and the rents were high. They had to do work with low wages that nobody else wanted to do. Police protection was not adequate so they had to deal with physical and verbal abuse.

Thus they developed self-help organisations. Later, they created their own first Black newspaper "The Voice".

They built up their own business in London, running their own shops, restaurants or nightclubs. Others have achieved high postions in public life. The power of [---] Caribbean people can be felt everywhere in London. >

[---] = gestrichen

beachte in Zukunft: kein bestimmter Artikel "the" vor allgemeingültigen / abstrakten Nomen