The Infamous Tragic Of People.
Romeo, a young man who falls in love.
Juliet, a young woman and the sweetheart of Romeo.
Ophelia, a former lover of Hamlet.
Hamlet, a prince of Denmark.
Shylock, a Jewish money-lender.
Act I: Hamlet admires Juliet and Ophelia.
Scene I: Hamlet praises Juliet and Ophelia.
[Enter Hamlet and Juliet]
Hamlet:
You are as sweet as the sum of an amazing beautiful lovely rose and a warm sunny lovely summer's day.
[Exit Juliet]
[Enter Ophelia]
Hamlet:
You are as sweet as Juliet!
Thou art as brave as the product of you and the sum of a brave charming hero and a King.
[Exit Ophelia]
Scene II: The appearence of Romeo.
[Enter Romeo]
Hamlet:
You are as honest as the sum of Ophelia and her evil devil.
Speak thy mind!
[Exit Romeo]
[Exeunt]
Act II: Ophelia insults Shylock and praises Juliet.
Scene I: The insulting of Shylock.
[Enter Ophelia and Shylock]
Ophelia:
You lying bad horrible coward.
You are as bad as the difference between you and a bastard
You are as horrible as the product of you and yourself
You are as miserable as the sum of you and a smelly bastard
Open your heart!
You are absolutely as normal as the product of Juliet and a cute pony. Speak thy mind!
You are nothing! Open your heart!
You are really nothing! Open your heart!
[Exit Shylock]
Scene II: The praising of Juliet.
[Enter Juliet]
Ophelia:
You are as cute as the difference between the sum of the sum of you and yourself and you and a beautiful pony!
Speak your mind!
[Exeunt]
Scene III: Shylock unsuccessfully flatters Ophelia.
[Enter Ophelia and Shylock]
Shylock:
thou are as cute as the difference between thou and a golden rich pretty brave King
you are as cute as the sum of a rotten devil and yourself
thee are as cute as the product of you and the sum of an honest hero and a King
Open your heart!
[Exeunt]
Scene IV: Hamlet, Romeo and Shylock.
[Enter Hamlet and Romeo]
Romeo:
thee art as tiny as the difference between myself and Juliet!
Speak your mind!
Hamlet:
You are as honest as the difference between the sum of myself and the quotient between yourself and a clearest Heaven and a brave Lord!
Speak your mind!
[Exit Romeo]
[Enter Shylock]
Hamlet:
Open your heart!
you are as stupid as the sum of the quotient between myself and a delicious plum and a goat
Open your heart!
you are as rotten as the sum of yourself and a codpiece!
[Exit Shylock]
[Enter Juliet]
Hamlet:
Speak your mind!
you are as pretty as the sum of the sum of the product of Shylock and myself and Ophelia and a Lord.
Open your heart!
[Exeunt]
