Ist dieser personal letter für das Sprachniveau B1 gelungen?
Hi Julia,
how are you? I hope you’re fine. I have just read your e-mail and I must say: WOW…A camping holiday….
I am very jealous of you because you were in a camping holiday. But now I think you are very relaxed and you can prepare you exam very good and you will write a good mark.
My interest in your camping holiday is very big. That’s why I would like to know more about it. Where and how long did you spend your camping holiday? Was it in the mountains or on the sea? I also want to know what you did during your vacation. Did do visit lots of famous monuments or did you often go for a walk? Last but not least you have to tell me if you travelled with your family or with friends. Please tell me more about it soon!
I am a person who loves traveling with his parents. First of all I think you often have stressy days at home with your parents then you also have to relax with them together. Second your parents pay everything if you travel with them. So you do not have to pay from your money. That is very nice!
As far as I am concerned I really love camping holidays because you don’t always have to stay in the same country. If you do not want to stay in one place then you can take your things and you can go to another. That is very beautiful. In addition I think a camping holiday is much more exciting than a normal hotel stay because you have to look after yourself. For example you also have to cook. That is very nice. That is why we always go on a camping holiday too. Maybe we could meet on a camping holiday…. Who knows…….
Now as I am close to the summer holidays, my parents start to think about a suitable country where we could travel. I would like to travel to a country where are mountains and a sea too. I wonder how many countries can offer this. For example, we could go to Spain. There is a wonderful landscape with mountains and a wonderful sea too. And the weather is always good too. This country would be perfect because I love swimming and hiking. But I still have to convince my parents. Wish me luck.
So far for now! I hope to hear from you soon and looking forward to more details about your camping holiday. I wish you good luck for your exam tomorrow. Best wishes to you and your family.
Yours,
xy
3 Antworten
Ich denke, dass dein Text das Sprachniveau B1 ziemlich gut trifft.
Du könntest vielleicht, abseits von den grammatikalisch grundlegenden Fehlern, darauf achten, Wortwiederholungen zu vermeiden und mit der Satzlänge zu variieren. Das macht den Text lebendiger und natureller. Außerdem würde ich Kurzformen verwenden, da das ja nichts formelles ist, sondern nur ein Brief an eine Freundin.
I am a person who loves traveling with his parents.
Ich würde tatsächlich statt "his" eher "their" nehmen, das klingt um einiges natürlicher.
If you do not want to stay in one place then you can take your things and you can go to another.
"If you don't want to stay in one place then you can take your things and go to another"
Du musst nicht immer alles so ausführlich formulieren. Du kannst das zweite you + can weglassen, kein Mutterspracher würde das so umständlich formulieren.
Hi Monica,
how (RS = Rechtschreibung) are you? I hope you’re fine. I have just read your e-mail and I must say: WOW…A camping holiday….
I am very jealous of you because you were in (Wort) a camping holiday. But now (Wortstellung) I think you are very relaxed and you can prepare you exam very good (Ausdruck, Grammatik) and you will write a good mark.
My interest in your camping holiday is very big (zu förmlich). That’s why I would like to know more about it. Where and how long did you spend your camping holiday? Was it in the mountains or on (Wort) the sea? I also want to know what you did during your vacation (= AE; holiday = BE). Did do visit lots of famous monuments or did you often go for a walk? Last but not least you have to tell me if you travelled (= BE; traveled = AE) with your family or with friends. Please tell me more about it soon!
I am a person who loves traveling (= AE; BE = travelling) with his parents. First of all (Ich persönlich würde hier ein Komma setzen.) I think you often have stressy days at home with your parents then you also have to relax with them together. Second (Ich persönlich würde hier ein Komma setzen.) your parents pay (Ich persönlich würde hier ein "for" einsetzen.) everything if you travel with them. So you do not have to pay from (Wort) your money. That is very nice!
As far as I am concerned (Ich persönlich würde hier ein Komma setzen.) I really love camping holidays because you don’t always have to stay in the same country. If you do not want to stay in one place Komma (then) you can take your things and you can go to another (Wenn der nächste Satz sich nicht auf das andere Land bezieht, fehlt hier etwas.).
That is very beautiful. (Wenn sich das auf "ein anderes, schönes Land" im vorigen Satz bezieht, dann solltest du diesen und den vorherigen Satz miteinander verbinden. Ist das ein neuer Satz, der ausdrücken soll, dass die Tatsachen, dass man ein anderes Land wählen kann schön ist, dann ist "beautiful" das falsche Adjektiv.)
In addition (Ich persönlich würde hier ein Komma setzen.) I think a camping holiday is much more exciting than a normal hotel stay because you have to look after yourself. For example (Komma) you also have to cook. That is very nice. (Besser einen Relativsatz daraus machen.) That is why we always go on a camping holiday too. Maybe we could meet on a camping holiday…. Who knows…….
Now as I am close to the summer holidays, my parents start to think about a suitable country where we could travel. I would like to travel to a country where (Hier fehlt etwas.) are mountains and a sea (falscher Artikel, falls die See / das Meer gemeint ist. Der/ein See = lake) too. I wonder how many countries can offer this. For example, we could go to Spain. There is a wonderful landscape with mountains and a wonderful sea (Formulierung) too. And the weather is always good too (Stil, Wiederholung). This country would be perfect because I love swimming and hiking. But I still have to convince my parents. Wish me luck.
So far for now! I hope to hear from you soon and (Hier fehlt etwas.) looking forward to more details about your camping holiday. (I wish you) good luck for your exam tomorrow. Best wishes to you and your family.
Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert, das Kursivgedruckte überdacht werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.
Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com,
für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de - und Finger weg vom Google Übelsetzer und seinen tr.tteligen Kollegen!
:-) AstridDerPu
Hier kommt mir einiges fragwürdig vor. Sie haben Fehler korrigiert, die wir von unserer Lehrerin als Formulierungshilfen bekommen haben???
Dann finde ich auch einige markierte Fehler fragwürdig wie z.B. but now, from, how oder a sea. Da sehe ich keine großen Fehler, zumindest kann man alles so sagen.
Ich habe dahinter geschrieben, was falsch ist.
how z. B. muss am Briefanfang großgeschrieben werden.
Übrigens, selbst ohne Rechtschreibfehler ist can prepare your exam very good falsch, good ist ein Adjektiv, hier brauchst du aber ein Adverb.
Aber mach, wie du meinst.
Wieso seid ihr alle so voreingenommen, wenn man nur etwas dagegen sagt? Ich wollte nur wissen, ob es sich um SCHLIMME GRAMMATIKFEHLER handelt, also, ob ich jetzt null Punkte bekäme, wenn es eine Arbeit wäre
you where on a holiday.
You must be very relaxed
your exam
and will write
Was it by the mountains or by the sea?
Secondly
2 Fehler davon waren Tippfehler: your and will write. Denkst du das sind große Fehler, die starken Punktabzug geben oder sie sind eher nicht so schlimm
Stimmt. Ein paar grammatikalische Fehler sind auch entstanden, weil ich es schnell abgetippt habe. Denkst du also, dass der Text gelungen ist und ich bräuchte mir keine Sorge, um die Rückgabe dieser Arbeit machen.