My dream job vortrag. So ok? ilfe. v2

Ich habe schonmal so einen ähnlichen Betrag geschrieben aber ja xD Ich hab diesesmal denn Text etwas ausgeweitet weshalb ich wieder etwas hilfe benötigen könnte. Jemand könnte kurz drüber gucken und sagen obs korrekt oder falsch ist und dann auch korriegieren. Und nein ihr sollt mir meine Hausaufgaben nicht machen legendlichich unter die Arme greifen ;)

Hello ladies and gentelman, I this presentation I will tell something about my dream job. My dream job is Kindergarten teahcer. When I grow up I would like to be a kindergartem teacher because i would like to work with children, i am creative and i would like to be a member of a team. You need good marks in art, bilogy and music to be a kindergarten teacher. The soft skills that you need are sense of responsibility and ability to communicate. A kindergarten teacher works in a kindergarten. They usually works with young children, and they has to do some offiece work, too. A kindergaten teacher has to organise things, theay should be patient and teacher should have good manners. In this job, you have a five-day-week, you have varied work and its well-paid. If do you want to start a apprenticeship you need your Middel educational attainment. The apprenticeship takes 2 years. Like every job, my dream job also has disadvantages. Some disadbivantages as kindergarten teacher are that you work with childrens they can scream 8 hour long and that can be annyoing. Some advantages are you can meet difficult parents and you can teach the children some thing. All in all, I would like to work as a kindergarten teacher because there are more advantages than disadbivantages.

Answer 1

[AstridDerPu]

Hello ladies and gentelman,

I this presentation Komma I will tell (Hier fehlt etwas.) something about my dream job. My dream job is Kindergarten teahcer. When I

grow up

Komma I would like to be a kindergartem teacher because i would like to work with children, i am creative and i would like to be a member of a team. You need good marks in art, bilogy and music to be a kindergarten teacher. The soft skills (---) you need are sense of responsibility and (Hier fehlt ein Artikel.) ability to communicate. Kindergarten teachers work in kindergartens. They usually works with young children, and they has to do some offiece work, too. A kindergaten teacher has (Plural draus machen.) to organise things,

theay should be patient and (---) should have good manners. In this job, you have a five-day-week, you have varied work and its well-paid. If (---) you want to (besser: would like to) start a apprenticeship Komma you need your Middel educational attainment. The apprenticeship takes 2 years. Like every job, my dream job also has disadvantages. Some disadbivantages as (Hier fehlt ein unbestimmter Artikel.) kindergarten teacher are that you work with children (---)

they can scream 8 hour long and that can be annyoing. Some advantages are (Hier fehlt etwas.) you can meet difficult parents and you can teach the children some thing. All in all, I would like to work as a kindergarten teacher because there are more advantages than disadbivantages.

- Das englische Personalpronomen für *ich* = **I** schreibt man im Englischen immer groß, egal ob am Satzanfang, in der Satzmitte oder am Satzende.

- Insgesamt sehr deutsch formuliert.

Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen. Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com, für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de.

:-) AstridDerPu

Comments

[DerTypDerWissen]

Was bedeuten die (---)? Ist das schlimm wenn ich stark deutsch formuliert habe ?

[AstridDerPu]

@DerTypDerWissen

Das Wort oder der Buchstabe, das bzw. der an dieser Stelle (---) stand, muss weggelassen werden.

[DerTypDerWissen]

@AstridDerPu

Danke danke danke. Du bist ziemlich Hilfreich :)!

[DerTypDerWissen]

So ich habs nun geändert.

Hello ladies and gentleman, In this presentation, I will tell you something about my dream job. My dream job is Kindergarten teacher. When I grow up I would like to be a kindergarten teahcer because I would like to work with children, I am creative and I would like to be a member of a team.You need good marks in art,biology and music to be kindergarten teacher.The soft skills you need are ability to communicate and empathy.A kindergarten teacher work in a kindergarten.They usually work with young children, and they have to do some offic work, too.Kindergarten teachers has to organise things, they should be patient and should have good manners, you have a five-day-week and it is paid well.If you would like to start an apprenticeship, you need your middle education degree.The education lasts for 2 years. As every other job, my dream job has also disadvantages.Some disadvantages as a kindergarten teacher are that you work with children this can scream the whole day and that can be annyoing.Some advantages are that you can meet difficult parents and you can teach the children something.All in all, I would like to work as a kindergarten teacher because there are more advantages than disadvantages.

Ist das oke?

Answer 2

[Stella144]

Da ich es gerade nicht schaffe zu kommentieren halt so. 

Ich denke der Text ist so ( mit korrekturen ) gut , du schaffst das und bitteschön :D