Kann jemand bitte mein comment anschauen und sagen welche Fehler ich gemacht habe, da ich am Dienstag ein comment in einer Klausur schreiben muss?
Nowadays social networks are used by people all over the world. They use them to stay in contact with their friends or family, get information about what’s happening in other parts of the world or just to bore something away. But there are also some negative facts, for example are social media also used for bullying. In the following I’m going to comment whether teenagers can agree or can’t agree if social media are good for them, also including the article „ Forty-five percent of teens are online ‚almost constantly’ – and they don’t know if it’s good for them“ written by Abby Ohlheiser published in the Washington Post on 31 may, 2018.
First off all, social media are the best option for humans to express new possibilities for their future. They can find new attractions and places in the world, which they would never have heard of.
Second, social networks are often used to find out the answer to questions, when not knowing the answer. Most of the people just take out their mobile phones, type it in and then they can read the answer.
Third, social media are used to stay in contact with your friends, even if they move or travel.On the other side there are also negative points, for example that there aren’t just websites with goog thoughts, like websites where violence or sexual content is shown. Furthermore it has to be mentioned that there are people, mostly men, who get on these websites and don’t do legitimate things.On top of that, there are teenagers, who use social network platforms to bully their classmates. For this they use networks where you can write anonymously.
Weighing the pros and cons, I come to the decision, that social media isn’t a big problem for teenagers, if there are rules, which have to be followed and controlled by humans and / or machines.On top I think that social media should even be more popular, so that parents also know about it, so that they can teach their children about the problems.3 Antworten
Nowadays social networks are used by people all over the world. They use them to stay in contact with their friends or family, get information about what’s *1 happening in other parts of the world or just to bore something away (???). But there are also some negative facts, for example are social media also used for bullying (Satzstellung). In the following I’m *1 going to comment (Ich persönlich würde hier „on“ einfügen.) whether teenagers can agree or can’t *1 agree (Formulierung ) if social media are good for them, (neuer Satz) also including the article „ (Zeichensetzung) Forty-five percent of teens are online ‚ (Zeichensetzung) almost constantly’ – and they don’t *1 know if it’s *1 good for them“ written by Abby Ohlheiser (Hier fehlt ein Wort.) published in the Washington Post on 31(st) may (RS), (Komma ist optional.) 2018.
First off all, social media are the best option for humans to express new possibilities for their future. They can find new attractions and places in the world, which they would never have heard of.
Second, social networks are often used to find out the answer to questions, when not knowing the answer. Most (---) people just take out their mobile phones, type it (Wen oder was?) in and then they can read the answer.
Third, social media are used to stay in contact with your friends, even if they move or travel. On the other side (Wort) there are also negative points (Ich persönlich würde hier ein anderes Wort wählen.), for example that there aren’t *1 just websites with goog (RS) thoughts, like (Ich persönlich würde hier ein anderes Wort wählen.) websites where violence or sexual content is shown. Furthermore it has to be mentioned that there are people, mostly men, who get on these websites and don’t *1 do legitimate things (Ich würde das umformulieren.). On top of that, there are teenagers, who use social network platforms to bully their classmates. For this they use networks where you can write anonymously.
Weighing the pros and cons, I come to the decision (Wort) (kein Komma) that social media isn’t *1 (Grammatik) a big problem for teenagers (kein Komma) if there are rules, which have to be followed and controlled by humans and / or machines. On top (Komma) I think that social media should even be more popular (Wort), so that parents also know about it (Grammatik), so that they can teach their children about the problems.
(*1): Kurzformen wie diese werden vorwiegend im gesprochenen Englisch verwendet. In der Schriftsprache - zumindest in formellen Schreiben - sollte man solche und andere Kurzformen (he's, I'm, don't usw.) vermeiden.
Adverbien, die am Satzanfang stehen können, sind z.B.:
•Firstly •Initially •Certainly •Therefore •Contrarily •However •Furthermore •Moreover •Additionally •Finally •Eventually •Lastly •Fortunately •Perhaps •Luckily •Briefly •Honestly •Personally •Understandably •Obviously •Apparently •Of course •Yesterday •Sometimes
Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert, das Kursivgedruckte überdacht werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.
Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com,
für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de - und Finger weg vom Google Übelsetzer und seinen tr.tteligen Kollegen!
:-) AstridDerPu
It's an average one.... To do it a little better, you should get rid of that Style of writing.
Reading it seems to me Like you Just named a Couple of Arguments but forgot explaining them a little more in Detail.
Just don't Use too many, but rather Stick to the ones used in Detail so that the Reader is able to get a propper opinion about the different Points as such.
If There be any questions, make Sure to Put them in the Form of a comment down Here below. I'll answer asap.
Social media platforms can be educational tools, but they can also harbor negativity. Finding a balance is key. Open communication between teenagers and parents can help navigate these complexities that's not my neighbor