würde ich hierfür in englisch eine gute note bekommen (elfte klasse, gymnasium)?
Task: This I believe
As a hobby writer and reader myself, I can say, that I strongly believe into the power of storytelling and the things that a well thought-out piece of writing can do to a person, no matter what kind of writing it is. It could be a novel or a new song from an musician you discovered, or maybe even something, that seems to be little like a poem you found on pinterest or the caption of an Instagram post, it doesn’t matter. Written words can change opinions, give new perspectives or make someone feel seen or understood, that is the power that words hold. Words can hurt people too, sometimes much more than physical violence does. It’s because words are one of the only ways we as humans can express ourselves, what else do we have than our voice?
And with voice, I don’t mean the sounds coming out of your mouth when you talk, I mean nothing more and nothing less than our beliefs, opinions and perspectives. Your voice is a part of your soul and speaking it all out loud can be scary, because it makes you incredibly vulnerable.
Speaking your mind, speaking what you actually think, means sharing a part of your soul and a part of your identity with the world. And no matter what you say, no matter how strongly you believe and no matter how many people think the same, theres always going to be people that want to walk all over you just because of the things you said.
Our brain, most of the time, fixes itself on the bad things that happen around us or to us. For example, most of the time when you wake up, you still have a little imagine in you brain of what you dreamt, but then, you immediately forget it, don’t you? But you still know about that one nightmare when you were six years old.
That’s because of your mind, because it’s trying to protect you from bad things, trying to warn you by never making you forget the bad things that happen to you.
But sometimes, you need to let that go and say what you want to say, say what you need to say. Because if you try to be anything else from what you are, its gonna suffocate you inside. So, no matter if the world can handle it our not, it’s not your problem.
There are incredibly many people walking on this earth, all with their voice and their whole identity and there is always going to be someone, who thinks like you and feels like noone else does.
Isn’t it weird that about eight billion people live on earth and still everyone feels lonely and misunderstood?
I personally don’t like the internet and all of the media very much, but, since its anonymous, it can be helpful in case you want to share your voice. Nobody has to know your whole identity, you don’t have to stand on a podium where everyone can see you, like people had to back in the day.
So say what you want to say, or write it down if you don’t want to say it, it may make someone feel less lonely and more understood. Your words probably can’t change the world, but they can change someone’s world.
Or maybe they’ll change the world, you never know.
3 Antworten
Im Prinzip nicht schlecht. aber vielleicht weniger Kommata und stattdessen mehr Punkte und andere Satzzeichen verwenden.
An einigen Stellen hast du sehr viele Wortwiederholungen und es klingt teilweise sehr übersetzt. Je nachdem wo du schreibst (Word, Papier, etc) kannst du auch digitale Tools verwenden die sowas markieren und dann mit Thesaurus und anderen Mitteln mehr Varianten einbringen. Auch gerne gesehen sind Redewendungen und nativer Slang, aber nur in Maßen.
Übung macht den Meister und ich glaube du bist auf einem guten Weg :)
Hallo,
As a hobby writer and reader myself, I can say (kein Komma) that I strongly believe into (Wort) the power of storytelling and the things that a well thought-out piece of writing can do to a person, no matter what kind of writing it is.
Schon in diesem ersten Satz gibt es zwei Fehler, außerdem sprengt die Textmenge hier den Rahmen.
gutefrage.net ist eine Ratgeber-Plattform und kein Lektorat. Was du hier möchtest, ist kein Rat, sondern eine Dienstleistung und Dienstleistungen sind teuer.
Von solchen Dienstleistungen lebt ein ganzer Berufszweig oder versucht es zumindest.
In geringem Umfang helfen Rechtschreib- und Grammatikprüfungen der diversen Textverarbeitungsprogramme, z.B. bei MS Word, auch für Englisch und andere Sprachen, so sie installiert wurden. Diese Prüfungen sind aber immer mit Vorsicht zu genießen!
Ich empfehle für das Vokabular ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com, für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de - nach dem Motto Learning by doing! - und Finger weg vom Google Übelsetzer und seinen tr.tteligen Kollegen!
:-) AstridDerPu
Also erst mal ist das viel zu viel Text, das liest sich niemand durch und zweitens kann das keiner beurteilen, weil niemand weiß wie dein Lehrer benotet.
believe into sth gibt es nicht