Wie findet ihr dieses erste Kapitel (englisch)?
The first time I met her was on a Friday.
Me and my mom had just finished unpacking all our stuff in our new apartment when she came up with a brilliant idea: "Sweety, why don't you go out and make yourself familiar with town? You're always on your laptop so go out for a change." Despite me not wanting to go out and......having to actually be near people I didn't want to upset her. This was our new start. After everything that's happened in the past I don't want to ruin this for her. Guess that episode of Supernatural has to wait.
So I ended up walking down the streets of Lain, a quite average town if you ask me. Everything you needed was here, ranging from supermarkets to comic book shops. And yet this place felt so lifeless and boring. You could see men in suits going home from work with a frown on their face practically everywhere you turned and mothers shouting at their children. But it's not like I'm complaining, I could even say I fit in perfectly in here. Lifeless and boring.
Exiting a drug store with a two snickers I not only came to the conclusion that I was tired and wanted to go home but also came to find that I was lost.
I instinctively searched for my phone to call my mom but then changed my mind.
Ardin, you are 17 years old, get a grip. Are you that weak that you can't even make it home without your moms help? No, you can do this on your own.
I turned left feeling confident again but as I walked down-Hellsing street a small, partly broken sign it said- I realized that the further I walked,the less people were around until I was all alone. At least I thought so before I heard load groan nearby. The only thing I could tell from the noise was definitely a male but the way he groaned made me feel like he was in pain. In serious pain. He needed help and quick. So I ran towards the sound as fastest I could and the groan became louder. Closer, I need to get closer and suddenly I stopped. Not because I was out of breath but because I couldn't believe what I was seeing right there in front of me.
An old man in his 40s was crawling on the floor, covered in so much blood, I couldn't even tell where he was injured. But when he looked at me I noticed that most parts of his face were swallon. And his eyes, his eyes were what made me take a step back. All I could see in those pitch black eyes was horror. Pure horror. And then nothing. Suddenly he was gone leaving behind a puddle of blood.
I turned around to look at her.
Time seemed to move slower as she passed me. The girl was dressed in a short black dress that barely covered her private parts and I swear that in that second she passed me, her hair , moved by the wind changed colours from dark brown to a beautiful purple colour. She moved by so fast and yet so slow in her heals as she rammed her bloodstained sword in the man. She was truly-
Der Rest ist in den Antworten, da ich keinen Platz mehr habe. Danke im voraus!
Also ich finde den Text inhaltlich echt gut, aber vielleicht solltest du ihn grammatikalisch noch mal überarbeiten :)
Danke! Ich weiß dass das mit der Grammatik etwas übel ist, aber mir ging es eigentlich nur darum wie der Text an sich wirkt.
Es heißt "my mom and I" und nicht "me and my mom" :)
The girl turned to me just as the man fell to the floor. It doesn't take an expert to tell he is dead. She was smiling at me innocently as she came closer, eyeing me from head to toe.
"And what brings a fine young man like you here?"
I should've called my mom.