Vorurteile / Klichees gegenüber Kanadier

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15 Signs You’re Talking To A Canadian.

If you’re not Canadian, you might know a Canadian or someone you highly suspect of being Canadian. Here are fifteen signs to know if you’re talking to one. 1. We Are Completely Comfortable With The Term “Homo Milk”. In Canada, this is an acceptable type of milk. I remember when someone asked my mom what type of milk she gave me as a child. I braced myself for a devastating mental image. He loves homo. Thanks, mom. Because that’s not confusing.

  1. We Correct You When You Say “Soda”. We’ll say, “you mean pop?”. And then creepily stare at you until you call it ‘pop’.
  2. We Are Offended When You Ask Us If We Know A Friend Of Yours Who, Coincidentally, Also Lives In Canada. You’re from Canada? Do you know my friend Tom? He lives in Canada too. Ever since Canada was invented, we’ve been asked this question. The American soldiers did this during the War of 1812. Good war, dude. Good war. I think my buddy Jacques lives up in Canada. Vancouver or some shit. Tall guy, eyepiece? You probably know him.
  3. We Don’t Think “Legalizing Marijuana” Is A Debate. I’ve never met a Canadian with another view on it. Or I might have, but I was watching Garfield 2 while eating cookie dough. Odie’s a bad ass.
  4. We’ve All Rolled Up The Rim To Win. Ask any Canadian you know if they’ve ‘rolled up the rim’. They’ll say yes. It’s not naughty. It’s way lamer than that. It’s a contest that a coffee shop .. Actually f*** it. It’s naughty.
  5. We’ve Been Jealous Of Someone Else’s Toboggan. A ‘toboggan’ is a nice wooden snow sled. When I grew up, I had to go sledding using the lid of a garbage can. So maybe this one’s just for me.

  6. We Think ‘Beaver Tail’ Is Delicious. A beaver tail is a pastry, covered in syrup, ice cream, cream, and some fruit that we pick off it because it’s all gross and healthy.

  7. Our Parents Have Tied Our Mittens Together With A String So We Don’t Lose Them. My mom would tie my “wool gloves” together and put them through my winter jacket so I didn’t lose them. This seemed like a good idea. But since they were pink and I was a freaking boy, mom I doubt they’d go unnoticed.
  8. We Were Raised, In Part, By Mr. Dressup. I’m twenty-nine, so this might not be true of older Canadians. Or like, super hot college chicks who think I’m all old and gross now because they don’t know who Mr Dressup is.

Mr Dressup sawed through the hearts of many Canadian kids. 10. We Grow Playoff Beards. (Not The Women) (Hopefully) During hockey playoffs, players will not shave. So when they win the Stanley Cup, it looks like Hamas is playing for the New Jersey Devils. For some bizarre reason, some fans who support the team, decide to grow beards too. Don’t ask. I look like I’m in Hamas even in the off season.

  1. We Are Angry That We Can’t Watch The Same Commercials As Americans During The Superbowl. Instead of the cool commercials everyone talks about, we get “Tom Ford’s Nissan Dealership, Now Open In Bolton”. Your name’s Tom Ford, douchebag. Pick the right car company.
  2. We Know Where To Get Good Poutine. Because it is the nectar of our people. – For the last three, I asked some friends of Tremendous News for help. Here they are.
  3. When We Hear “In The Five-hole” And “Spending Some Time In The Box”, We Don’t Think Dirty. It’s hockey. It’s pure. It’s our game. Alex Ruiz, Calgary Flames TV.
  4. We Give Directions Using Liquor Stores And Beer Stores As Geographical Benchmarks. Ok, you know the beer store at Jane and Dundas? Go east until you get to the liquor store then take a right. Jeff Marek, Hockey Night In Canada Radio.
  5. Canadians Never Think Anywhere Is Cold Outside Of Canada Whaaaa? This isn’t cold. Winter of ‘94, my eyelids froze shut, and I still walked to school.

You know you're Canadian when... Found this on Facebook! Not meant to offend people; it's meant for people to get a laugh out of. So laugh and appreciate the differences, and if you have anything to add, comment or guestbook, even if it's about your country!!:)

You're Proud to be a Canadian but you only know you're Canadian when:

  1. You have the tendancy to say "eh" after every sentance. 2.You Know the Difference of " Colour + Color " Or " Favourite + Favorite " or " Centre + Center"
  2. You can sing "O' Canada" in French and actually know what the words mean!
  3. Some American has asked you, “Do you live in an Igloo?”
  4. You know that a "Premier" isn't a baby born a few months early.
  5. You only see war on TV, and its always some foreign country v.s. America
  6. Every one of your TV shows have been ripped off from freaking America [ex; American Idol ----> Canadian IdolAre you smarter than a 5th Grader ----> Are You Smarter Than A Canadian 5th Grader]
  7. You know the French equivalents of "free", "prize", and "no sugar added", thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging
  8. You know what a toque is.
  9. American's often question you when you talk about a loonie or toonie
  10. You know Toronto is not a province
  11. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
  12. You know all the words to "If I had a million dollars" by The Barenaked Ladies
  13. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
  14. You drink pop, not soda.
  15. You watch MuchMusic constantly, in the hopes of occasional fleeting glimpses of The Tragically Hip
  16. You brag to Americans that: Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion, Michael J. Fox, John Candy, William Shatner, Tom Green, Matthew Perry, Mike Myers, Neve Campbell, Pamela Anderson Lee & many more, are Canadians.
  17. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
  18. Every murder is reported.
  19. You think Great Big Sea isn't Maritime-centric enough.
  20. When you own 5 pairs of hockey skates and only one pair of shoes.
  21. You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.
  22. You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.
  23. You make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day.
  24. You recognize: CPP, RSP, and CCM
  25. Complete the phrase: "The good old ____ game is the best ____ you can ____."
  26. You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway
  27. Only in Canada......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
  28. Its called a WASHROOM not a lavatory or powder room or rest room.
  29. You know that Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores before Christmas.
  30. You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
  31. You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons
  32. You're not offended by the term "Homo Milk".
  33. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines.
  34. You've ever said, 'I need more flannel clothing.'
  35. You understand everything in this list, and email it to all your friends.
  36. You read rather than scanned this list.
  37. You get up at 5:00 am (the beginning of broadcasting hours) to hear the Canadian national anthem.
  38. You automatically read 'Z' as 'Zed' and don't give a damn that it doesn't rhyme with "now I know my abcs".
  39. you know what an R.C.M.P. Officer is, and you've been pulled over by them more than a normal police..
  40. You are in grade 12, not the 12th grade
  41. You know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan".
  42. You know that when it's 25 degrees outside, it's a warm day.
  43. when it's 3 Degrees in the summer, it's freezing, but when it's 3 degrees in the winter, it's the warmest day of your life.
  44. you arrive home, thankful to be welcomed back into the warmth that somehow hadn't seemed enough earlier.
  45. you know what capris are
  46. You understand the sentence, "Could you please pass me a serviette? I just spilled my poutine."
  47. you know what a poutine is.
  48. You can drink legally while still a 'teen'.
  49. When there is a social problem, you turn to your government to fix it instead of telling them to stay out of it.
  50. You Know the National Anthem In Atleast One Language. [English or French/maybe even both]
  51. You smile when people discover that calling you a 'Canuck' isn't an insult.
  52. The day for fireworks is July 1 (Canada Day, used to be Dominion Day), or June 24 (Fête Nationale de Québec, also known as St-Jean Baptiste Day) in Quebec. Also New Year's Eve, though it's a bit cold for watching them
  53. You've left a message at the beep.
  54. The normal thing, when a couple dies, is for their estate to be divided equally between their children.
  55. The police are armed, but not with submachine guns.
  56. You perk up when you hear the theme song from 'Hockey Night in Canada'.
  57. Your Beer Case handles Are Big Enough To Fit Your Mitts
  58. You know that we don't all live in igloos and ride polar bears to work.
  59. ...you are of course not American.
  60. You're familiar with Kids

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