Verbesserungsvorschläge (Englische Präsentation)?

2 Antworten

Vom Fragesteller als hilfreich ausgezeichnet

Today I want to present the film "Honig im Kopf" by Till Schweiger. The film is about an old man called Amandus who has the Alzheimer-disease. Because of the disease his son Niko wants him to move into his house near Hamburg. Niko's daughter Tilda doesn't know anything about Alzheimer and asks a doctor. The doctor explains it to her and then she asks him how she can help Amandus. The doctor answers that it's good for him to see places he has known before. Amandus was often in Venice together with his wife. So Tilda decides to take him to Venice the next morning. Her parents just know that they both are in Venice because of a message. When they get the message they go to Venice as fast as they can and look for them everywhere. They find them in a hotel and they all go back home together. About a year later Amandus dies.
Well, this was my presentation. Do you have any questions?

Ich habe mal schnell die schlimmsten Fehler verbessert, ansonsten aber deine Sprache belassen. Die Verben habe ich ins Präsens gesetzt. Das ist eigentlich die Zeit, in der eine Inhaltsangabe normalerweise geschrieben wird.

to drive: Denk dran, dass das im Englischen nicht das allgemeine Wort für "fahren" ist. "to drive" bedeutet immer nur, dass man selber am Steuer sitzt und ein Fahrzeug lenkt.

Sollte das Ganze so kurz sein?

ja 2-5Min

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Dankeschön für den Stern. ☺

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Zusammenfassungen schreibt man im Präsens, also müsstest du paar Sätze umändern, z.B. dann "his son, called Niko, WANTS him to move in HIS house..." (nicht its house). "Tilda DOESn't know anything about Alzheimer and ASKS a doctor. The doctor EXPLAINS her" "they FIND them in a hotel and DRIVE back home. About 1 year later Amandus DIES" ...usw... Dinge, die aber wirklich in der Vergangenheit waren, wie z.B. "Amandus was often in Venedig" können so stehen bleiben. 

Außerdem würde ich das Wort "movie" benutzen und nicht film 

Ansonsten kannst du deine Präsentation so lassen :) 

"film" ist schon okay. Das ist das britische Wort, während "movie" das amerikanische Wort ist.

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@adabei

Oh okay, das wusste ich nicht, ich bin schon sehr dran gewöhnt immer movie zu sagen... :D 

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Englisch: Summary - so in Ordnung?

Es ist mir ziemlich von Bedeutung, ob die Zusammenfassung aktzeptabel ist. Verbersserungsvorschläge oder Verbesserungen erwünscht. Es geht um das Buch "The house of dolls" von KLETT. Danke

  • It was strange but nevertheless they had to enter the building to finish their community action program. As they entered through the open front door, they saw thousands of dolls. Marin was astonished, when she saw all the dolls. They looked so real. When they met Mrs. Unsdorf, they tried to explain her something about the CAP, before Marin wanted to know how she could do something like that and how it could look so real (the dolls). The only thing Mrs Unsdorf wanted help from the kids was to bring a special tea. In the next day they brought the tea and the shop the dealer said that Hanna Jenks was the last one who bought the tea, too. She was one of the missing kids. On the way home, Marin and Jack were afraid of a dark figure. They couldn’t explain what it was. When Marin and Jack came again to Mrs. Unsdorf to give her the special tea, they met the dark figure again. It explained everything about Mrs. Unsdorf. She was a dangerous and wicked person, who had tried to turn him into a doll. He could escape before she finished her work. Marin and Jack were afraid of Bobby, because he had no eyes. They ran to Mrs. Unsdorf´s house to be in safety. They thought they were in safety. But it was a trap, because Mrs. Unsdorf closed the front door. She threatened to turn them into dolls, because they knew her secret. They both began to escape. But every door was closed. Marin noticed a few moments later that Jack was stunned. Mrs Unsdorf wanted to put a needle to Jacks eye to turn him into a doll. Marin wanted to save jack. She tricked Mrs. Unsdorf out and put Mrs. Unsdorfs own needle in her eye. The wind has blown the candles over. They house began to burn. On the next day Marin was at home. Jack explained, that Mrs. Unsdorfs burnt to the ground. They just found a doll, which looked like Mrs. Unsdorf. It even had a walking stick. -

Liebe Grüße, das brauche ich für meine Englisch Arbeit

...zur Frage

Könnt ihr mir bitte sagen, ob dieser englische Tagesbericht gut ist und ob ich Fehler habe?

Like every day my day began in the veterinarian's practise Dr. xxxx at 8. 50 o'clock. First I went to the recreation room where I met the assistants, the doctor and the leader of the practise. After I welcomed everybody, I changed and went forwards to the reception. There I went to my roster and saw that I was assigned, as usual, to the same doctor, but the first appointment was an operation and not a normal treatment, as usual. That‘s why I went in to the operation space where the doctor and the veterinarian's assistants already prepared everything. I helped them, by cleaning the table of treatment, filling in the syringe and putting out the protective clothes and the equipment. Then I went to the doctor and she explained that a sheepdog was already laid in anaesthesia for a surgery. They would operate him now on the eye, because he had an ocular illness. So I went to the back to help the veterinarian's assistants. We lifted the dog on a table of treatment and pushed him in the operation space where we laid him on the operating table. I was allowed to watch during the whole operation. First a part of the eye was cut out. To covert he created hole, the doctor cut off a part of the cornea and laid this about the hole. Finally the doctor sewed up the whole thing. I really found the operation very interesting, because I saw different equipment, and I had never seen an operation before, so it was really new for me. I had no problems with the blood or with the sight of the eye what is of course one of the important conditions for a veterinarian. Then at 11. 00 o'clock we were ready with the quite costly operation of the eye. I bound a ruff around the head of the dog, so that he cannot scratch himself and sore the seam. We lifted the dog again from the operating table on the normal table of treatment. There the dog could wake up from the anesthesia. I had a little bit extra time, while the dog was sleeping, so I cleaned the devices of the operation and welded the equipment. Slowly the dog woke up. Thats why we brought the dog to the doctor's office from before. There were already the animal holders and waited for the dog. We laid the dog on the prepared mats on the ground and went out, so that the dog could wake in rest. So I went again behind to the operation space and cleaned further the devices. Then at 11. 45 o'clock I heard very vague and loudly noises. Because I anyway just finished my work, I went before to the adoption and saw that everybody was totally turned up and tried to bring the sheepdog who had woken up from the anaesthesia under control, because he ran like mad through the space. The owners from him had taken off the ruff, although the doctor explained to them that this collar was necessary. The assistants could hold the dog after 5 minutes, they tried to calm the dog, because he was hurting himself. But then the doctor looked to the dog and noted that he had torn open two seams and so the wound was open. This meant for the doctor

...zur Frage

Kann jemand über meinen Englischtext einmal rüberschauen?

Kann mal jemand über diesen En glischtext drübergucken und ein paar verbesserungsvorschläge dazuschreiben? Wäre echt nett! Achtung: Es ist eine Zusammenfassung!

Wo ich mir besonders unsicher bin - ist fett!

Text:

First of all the text presents a few facts about an average Briton. Among other things Tim Wardle occupy himself with the question, if Mr. or Mrs. Average exists in real world. And, if they exist, the author would like to know everything about him and his social environment(soziales umfeld).

First Mr. Wardle collects statistics to find out what is average and what is unaverage. A really important fact which he finds out while his data-recall facility is that the average person hast two children (statistical data: 1.8). He starts to search but for the present he does not find anyone who matches the criteria. But then Tim Wardle finds Army wife. He thinks that she is Mrs. Average but later he finds out that there are things she does which are hardly average. So the author visited the company CACI, because this company knows where which people live and if you give any information they will be able to tell you where the searched people live. Mr. Wardle gives information about an average person and so the company tells him where the average persons live - scilicet in Essex.

For this reason he drives to Essex and continue his quest right there, but again he does not find the Mr. or Mrs. Average. He now is about to give up. But suddenly there is a gleam of hope: National newspapers print Wardles(oder: Wardle´s) questions and in the following days many people contact the author and assure him that they are the average Briton. One of these is Peter Williamson who lives in the outskirts of Swindon where Tim Wardle drove(wohin T.W. (nun) fährt). When he arrives he tried to explain his aim. The married office worker and father of two children is exactly what the author had been looking for all the time.

In the end of the article he recognizes that being average is not bad and boring but a recipe for contentment.

...zur Frage

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