Korrektur Präsentation?

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My presentation is about a global problem related to poverty: hunger. In Africa, people die of hunger and dirty drinking water every day. According to the UN, every day some 15,000 children under the age of five die. According to the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF), 6 million children died last year. The causes are pneumonia, missing environmental protection and poor hygiene. It is disastrous that people are still dying of such causes in this century. Many developing countries are concerned about the problem. We have to offer more development aid in order to avoid such conditions. We have to donate more money. We have to ensure the supply of clean drinking water. The problem affects not only Africa but also other developing countries. We need to support building up the economies in these countries. I donate money, 10 € every month. If everyone donated money, fewer people would die of hunger.

Super, danke für die Korrektur und das zusätzliche Wort: Missing. Dass der Inhalt des Textes auf verschiedene Ursachen von Krankheiten und Kindersterblichkeit eingeht, aber das Problem ,,Hunger" nicht weiter erwähnt wird; das ist die Verantwortung des Fragestellers.

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