Könntet ihr mir bitte diesen Text korrigieren; Englisch?

4 Antworten

Vom Fragesteller als hilfreich ausgezeichnet

Hab dir jetzt mal ein paar Fehler verbessert, ohne deinen Text allzusehr zu verändern.

Marcus is a twelve-year-old boy whose parents are divorced. He leaves Cambridge where they had all been living together and moves to London with his mother, because she has found a job there. That doesn’t mean, however, that he doesn’t see his dad anymore. He visits him regularly and likes his girlfriend Lindsey too.
He is worried about two things in life. When they arrive in London, firstly he feels uncomfortable at his new school because he gets bullied by the other kids. One reason that makes him different is for example that he is weird, old-fashioned, has a strange haircut, wears weird glasses and listens to unpopular singers like John Mitchell and likes singing too. He also doesn’t watch tv or play any computer games because Fiona, his mother, doesn’t allow him to do so.
All the kids laugh at him, especially when he suddenly starts singing during lessons when he gets nervous. That’s the reason why he doesn’t have any friends and nobody to talk to. Whenever he tries to talk to Nicky and Mark, two of his only friends at his new school, they go away from him because they are afraid of getting bullied too.
His second concern is his mum, who is always crying, even more than in Cambridge. So he wants someone who makes her happy because he doesn’t know the reason. He tries to find out why she is suffering from depression.
Marcus is described as a shy, polite, naive and self-conscious boy. For example, he says that he isn’t the right person for parties because he is shy.

Danke im Voraus

OMG DANKEEEE!! SIE VERDIENEN EIN STERN!

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Und noch könnten sie mir noch ein anderen Text korrigieren?

One day he meets Will at SPAT picnic, his mother arranged this meeting for him. In the beginning, Marcus and Will don’t like each other but when Marcus accidentally kills a duck, Will defends and helps him, so a relationship arises between them. Although he is still not sure if he likes Will or not, he is not bad. So Marcus gets a plan that is connected with Will, after his mum commits suicide, that it needs more people in the family, so tries couple Fiona with Will, when Will asks to take them sometimes out. But then he realizes that Will isn't interested in Fiona, however even if Will isn't interested in her, he thinks that Will is getting used to him, and so he visits him a lot in autumn. Because he is the only person who knows about teenagers lifestyle and his problems. For example Will buys him new adidas shoe, to get Marcus more accepted in the school, but which gets stolen after a day. And so he argue with his mum, because of Wills Caring and buying him new trainers, but Marcus argument to this conversation with “I need a father”.

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  • Ein bisschen lang für eine Korrektur, zumal sehr viele Fehler vorhanden sind.
  • Der Großteil der Verbformen ist falsch. Gehe noch mal Singular/Plural und Zeitformen genau durch.
  • Example: He is WORRIED about two things in HIS life, since they HAVE ARRIVED IN London
  • Vor "..., too" kommt immer ein Komma.

Vor "too" kann ein Komma stehen, muss aber nicht.

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@Simbacherin1

Well, English comma rules are flexible and not as strict as German.

However, in most cases the comma is adequate.

On the obvious level of the text I recommend to set the comma.

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Hier der zweite Teil (nur auf die Schnelle). Du solltest nicht so oft zwischen den Zeiten wechseln. Bei einer Inhaltsangabe solltest du beim Präsens bleiben.

One day Marcus meets Will at SPAT picnic, a meetig arranged by his mother. At the beginning, Marcus and Will don’t like each other, but when Marcus accidentally kills a duck, Will defends and helps him. This way, a relationship arises between the two of them.
Although Marcus is still not sure if he likes Will or not, he doesn't find him too bad. So Marcus forms a plan that is connected with Will. After his mum has tried to kill herself, he thinks that it needs more people in the family. So he tries to couple Fiona with Will. But then he realizes that Will isn't interested in Fiona. However even if Will isn't interested in her, he thinks that Will is getting used to him, and so he visits him a lot in autumn. Will seems to be the only person who knows about teenagers' lifestyles and his problems. For example, Will buys him new Adidas trainers to make Marcus more accepted at school. They are stolen, however, after just one day. And so he argues with his mum about Will's support and buying him new trainers. His main argument in this conversation is, however, “I need a father”.

Können Siw mir noch das hier korrigieren :):

This fight had a huge impact on Marcus. For example he was rude to the headmaster and although Fiona has forbidden him to visit Will again, he does it. Ellie, a troublemaker and famous at school, gets friend with Marcus, after they meet on front of headmasters door. He was impressed on Ellie and likes her too, Even in this situation Will helps him and told him who Kurt Cobain is, Ellies biggest idol. Through Ellie, he's more self-confident. Not just Will helps or defends Marcus, Marcus gets more helpful. For example at the meeting on Christmas, he defends Will about a fictional boy, about that Will lie and about Wills first big love too, where he plays as the son of Will. He helps Ellie too, because he fancies her, when her idol, Kurt Cobain, commit suicide, he tries to tell her that he isn't a real person. Another change is his outward. Will buys him new glasses and he takes him to the hairdresser.

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????

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Kann jemand über meinen Englischtext einmal rüberschauen?

Kann mal jemand über diesen En glischtext drübergucken und ein paar verbesserungsvorschläge dazuschreiben? Wäre echt nett! Achtung: Es ist eine Zusammenfassung!

Wo ich mir besonders unsicher bin - ist fett!

Text:

First of all the text presents a few facts about an average Briton. Among other things Tim Wardle occupy himself with the question, if Mr. or Mrs. Average exists in real world. And, if they exist, the author would like to know everything about him and his social environment(soziales umfeld).

First Mr. Wardle collects statistics to find out what is average and what is unaverage. A really important fact which he finds out while his data-recall facility is that the average person hast two children (statistical data: 1.8). He starts to search but for the present he does not find anyone who matches the criteria. But then Tim Wardle finds Army wife. He thinks that she is Mrs. Average but later he finds out that there are things she does which are hardly average. So the author visited the company CACI, because this company knows where which people live and if you give any information they will be able to tell you where the searched people live. Mr. Wardle gives information about an average person and so the company tells him where the average persons live - scilicet in Essex.

For this reason he drives to Essex and continue his quest right there, but again he does not find the Mr. or Mrs. Average. He now is about to give up. But suddenly there is a gleam of hope: National newspapers print Wardles(oder: Wardle´s) questions and in the following days many people contact the author and assure him that they are the average Briton. One of these is Peter Williamson who lives in the outskirts of Swindon where Tim Wardle drove(wohin T.W. (nun) fährt). When he arrives he tried to explain his aim. The married office worker and father of two children is exactly what the author had been looking for all the time.

In the end of the article he recognizes that being average is not bad and boring but a recipe for contentment.

...zur Frage

Um was geht es in dem Lied "What he wanted" von AnnenMayKantereit?

Hi zusammen, wie der Titel schon ahnen lässt, verstehe ich nicht ganz um was es in diesem Lied geht. Ich verstehe den englichen Text größtenteils, aber Inhaltlich versteh ich es irgendwie nicht so ganz. (Habe unten noch den Englischen Text eingefügt)

Was ich eben weiß ist, dass da so ein Zigeuner ist, der wohl allein sein möchte und in die welt gehen und irgenwas mit Herzschmerz oder ähnliches...? Könnt ihr mir helfen?

But though he never knew What heartache is He went out for a single kiss

And he told his father That he's never coming back But maybe with a broken back

He was a gypsy From the coast And what he wanted the most Was being on his own All alone In the dark and the light every night And he'd want nobody to be tired

And he'd get it And hide it and let me down He wanted it all In all the town It got to be the same for me And all he'd ever feel Is the gypsy feeling free

Hey x4

That gypsy from the coast And what he wanted the most That gypsy from the coast And what he wanted the most

All the times that he tried to lie He was able to set his fire All the people around Listening to his sound And he was crazy without no doubt

And he hshfkdvsufjckxgsbdjdjck

And if you like him Just give him some money Come on like him he's very funny

Hey x4

That gypsy from the coast And what he wanted the most That gypsy from the coast And what he wanted the most Interval Oh, that gypsy from the coast What he wanted the most That gypsy from the coast What he wanted the most And though he never knew What heartache is He went out for a single kiss Hey

LG Riman

...zur Frage

Emma einfach magisch Staffel 4 Was alles vor kommt oder passiert?

Hallo ich hab hier ein englischen Text von Every witch way was alles in der 4 Staffel passiert kann mir das jemand übersetzen oder in eigenen Wörter verfassen und nochmals danke :).
(Shortly after Emma's decision to choose Jax over Daniel, she discovers that Daniel has disappeared and no but her remembers him. Emma eventually finds out that she has caused a Continuum Break, where because of her decision, Daniel has been sent to an alternate life. Now Emma has only 5 days to make Daniel remember his real life or he will vanish into thin air. Emma is able to convince everyone to help her search for Daniel and soon find him living in the Everglades with his family and Mia, someone else everyone forgot existed. After a mishap, Emma tells Daniel the truth about magic and the Continuum Break and is happy that he agrees to return to Miami with them, despite everyone's warnings of the dangers. When Emma and the gang arrive back in Miami, they help Daniel to try and regain his memories. They have no luck at first, but after going to a strange resturaunt called Lola's Daniel is able to regain most of his real memories up until he met Emma and he believes Maddie is his girlfriend, much to Emma's jealousy. Eventually, Daniel's final day to fully remember his real life had arrived and Emma was desperate to help him before he completely disappeared.Emma and the gang tried many different methods to help Daniel, but they all fail; even the Hexoren didn't have a spell that could help. However, Emma came up with one last idea and brought Daniel to his house, where she thought it would really help him. Daniel kissed Emma which finally broke the Continuum Break. However, Emma soon realized that Jax witnessed the event and Daniel soon becomes upset with her as he remembers that she chose Jax over him. She told him that she couldn't explain why she chose Jax and that she just had a feeling. Jax was still upset at Emma for kissing Daniel but she then explained to him that Daniel kissed her and that she pushed him away by taking him back in time. Jax felt dumb for not trusting her and they kissed and continued their relationship.
(Nächste next kommt als Kommentar)

...zur Frage

Englisch Text verbessern! Bitte! :(

Kann bitte jemand mal meinen text anschauen ich geh in die 5 Klasse und bin eine völlige Niete un Englisch

The economy in the 80s in England is very chipped. In the streets of north England you see many strikes. Many mines workers are striking because mines should be closed. One of these protestants is Jackie, a father of two boys, Tony and Billy Elliot. He had lost his wife and now he is living with his children and their grandmother in a small flat, because the family doesn’t have much money. The father is a very strict and hard man and he want that his 11 years old son, Billy, be hard to, so he send him to boxing lessons. But Billy doesn’t like the unnecessary violent, he is much more interested in that what is happening in the other side of the gymnastic hall. There Mrs. Wilkinson, a slightly unment women, she is teaching some girls ballet. Finally Billy dares to exchange his box gloves for ballet shoes. Every day he goes to the ballet class without telling his father. One day his father sees that his son is dancing ballet instead of boxing. Jackie forbids his son to dance this unmanly ballet but Billy and his dedicated dance teacher Mrs. Wilkinson decide to continue the training secretly. The major goal of both is a dance audition at the Royal Ballet School in London. When his father caught Billy again when he was dancing, he was sure that Billy has Talent. Jackie becomes a blackleg to save money for his son. Finally Jackie comes with Billy to the dance audition in the Ballet school. Billy gets a letter from the Ballet School, he is taken. At the same moment the strike is broken. A few years later, Jackie and Tony Elliot go to London to see Billy dancing his first stage appearance in "Schwanensee".

und gibs ein Programm oder eine Seite die texte verbessert?

...zur Frage

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