kann mir jemand helfen und disen Text verbessern? wäre echt sehr nett =)

... komplette Frage anzeigen

6 Antworten

In my future Komma I first off all I have too finish (---) school and get my A-levels at (---) “Schickhardt-Gymnasium” (Formulierung).

After that it would be nice when I am good enough (Formulierung)

to study for the bar or get a education (Formulierung) as Hier fehlt der unbestimmte Artikel. makeup-artist.

There is indeed a great difference (Unterschied zwischen was?) but I mean (Wort) I am free for everything and I will wait Hier fehlt etwas. what happened (Zeit) and act after I know what I really want. It is still written in the stars in which city I want to live. But In my private life one thing I am sure about and that’s that I didn’t want (Zeit) to lost

100 (Hier fehlt eine Präposition.) my best friends (Wieviele beste Freunde hast du denn?**).

And (kein Satzanfang) I am going to make a world trip with them

neuer Satz

everything is still planed, I hope it will come true. Also (stilistisch kein guter Satzanfang) I want to have a family with two kids maybe (Position) and a house with a big garden. But that all these things come true Komma I really have to get better in school.

Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.

Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.eu,

für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de.

AstridDerPu

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After finishing school with the German A-Levels at the "Schickhardt-Gymnasium" I would like to work at a bar or as a make up artist. Indeed there is a huge difference but I have various interests and plans for my future. At first I am waiting until I really know what I want in my life. Furthermore it still isn't clear in which city I want to live. But I am sure about one thing in my life: I absolutely don't want to lose all my best friends with whom I am planning to make a journey round the world. Hopefully, this comes true. I also would like to have a family with two children and a house with a big garden if this is possible. But before all my plans come true I really have to get better in school.


I hope I could help you a bit, Malena

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In my future I first of all have to finish school and get my A-Levels at the "Schickhardt-Gymnasium". After I am done with that it would be great if I were good enough to work at a bar or get an education as a Makeup-Artist. Indeed there is a great difference, but I have an open mind about anything. It is still written in the stars in which city I will want to live but I want to travel the world and will hopefully do that together with my closest friends! In a few years I also want to have a harmonic family with two kids and a house with a big garden. But first of all, I need to get better in school, so all those things can happen!

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But in my private life i am sure about one thing and that is not to loose my best friends.and i am going to make a journey around the world, everything is planned yet, i hope it will come true. Also I want to have a family,maybe with two kids and a house with a big garden.

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I have to finish school and get my a-levels at the schickhardt-gymnasium.After that it would be nice for me to be good enough to work at a bar or to get an education as a makeup-artist.Indeed there is a big difference but i think i should keep my mind free for everything and I will wait what happened and act after I have found what I really want...

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Kommentar von Martin712
01.12.2013, 20:45

sorry----richtig ist "and i will wait what will happen..."

0

But for all these things to come true i really have to get better at school

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