Kann jemand meineb Englischen Text über Craig Kielburger korrigieren?
Craig Kielburger is an activist for the rights of children. He was born in Toronto and has a n older brother called Marc. When he was 12 years old he founded Free The Childrrb because he has read an articel about Iqbal Masih who was forced into bonded labour in a carpet factory at the age of four. He fighted against child labour by 12years old and was murdered in 1995. Kielburger raised money for the fight against child labour. Later he was going on a 7- week trip to India, Pakistan,Neapl and Thailand. He met the Prime Minister of Canada who was taking up the issue of child labour. The political problems were the child labour, no schools, no clean water and that the people who fight against child labour were killed. He built more than 400 schools for 30,00 pupils in 21 countries. He sent 200.000packaged with materials for health care and school and medical equipment worth 9-million US- Dollard. They give gifts of cows, goat, sewing machines or land to women so that they can earn money and the children don't have to work. He was nominated for the world's children's Prize for the rights of the child .
Bin kein Experte, aber das hier habe ich gefunden:
-an older brother (an war bei Dir mit Leerzeichen dazwischen)
-he founded "Free the Children" (ich würde es in Anführungszeichen setzen und children war falsch geschrieben)
- he red an article (Du hast geschrieben has read)
-Neapl? Wohl eher Nepal?
-the people who fought (fight hast Du geschrieben)
-They gave gifts...(nicht give)
Ich hoffe, ich konnte helfen
Nur kurz überflogen aber was mir aufgefallen ist:
He fought against child labour at the age of 12
7 weeks trip
who was taking up the issue of child labour - was willst du damit aussagen?
who fought against child labour
they give gifts - das klingt schrecklich...zum Einen heißt es they gave
zum Anderen klingt das komisch. Mir fällt auf die Schnelle grad keine Alternative ein, hab auch zu wenig Zeit grad.
Der letzte Satz klingt auch sehr holprig...
Wenn du mir 2€ zahlst klar.