Ist mein Englisch Aufsatz gut?

2 Antworten

Hi.

Ich lasse jetzt mal die Fehler außen vor und sage, wie der Text auf mich wirkt.

Ich finde ihn zu monoton und stakkatohaft. Du solltest die abgehackt wirkenden kurzen Hauptsätze durch gelegentliche Nebensätze ergänzen, Übergänge schaffen, Gedanken miteinander verbinden.

Und das immer wieder wiederholte "Dream(s)" - das du mit "d" schreiben solltest, nervt sehr.

Was mir gefällt, ist der sehr persönlich wirkende "touch". Deine Zielstrebigkeit kommt hier deutlich zum Ausdruck.

Gruß, earnest


Hi SeliBaery !

Hab das ganze mal korrigiert und einwenig angepasst... bitteschön

Many other youngsters have very montone Dreams. I think everyone should follow tehir most impossible Dream, because everyone can make their Dream come true if they have the courage to follow them. My biggest Dream is also my Dream Job. Many other people have laughed about my Dream Job, because it’s something that not everybody can achieve. I want to sing on Stages and make my own Music, because singing is my passion since i was a little girl. I can sing and i did nothing else for years. I also had lessons and everyone says i have a great voice. But many People think i can never reach my Goal. They are not wrong. I cant be sure that i can reach my Dream. But i’m a fighter. I never give up before i try something. Im Standing on my own Feet and i dont care what anybody thinks of my Dreams.You should always follow your Dreams  and make them come true. Dreams are the first Step to success, It’s something that motivates you to do something you thought was impossible. I will fight and try it !

gruss

SCMG1

Wenn ich noch einmal "dream" oder "dream job" hoere, lese oder sehe, schrei' ich!

dream, job, poeple, goal, standing, music, stages, step - klein (Auseer natuerlich am Satzanfang)

I - immer gross

They are not wrong <<<- So, you are basically saying that the people are correct ;)

Was genau du verbessert hast, kann ich nicht sehen. Es sind nicht weniger Fehler drin' als vorher.

1

Kalifornien was kann man da machen

Wir müssen in English ein Vortrag über Kalifornnien halten. Die fragen die wir beantworten sollen lauten:

  • What do you have to know about the country

-What can you do there

  • What is according- to your mind- the nicest place

Antworten MÜSSEN NICHT in English sein KÖNNEN aber

...zur Frage

Indirect speech korrekt angewendet?

Wie muss es heißen wenn dort steht: Charles: "I don't have time to do my homework."

Heißt es dann:

He said that he didn't have time to do his homework.

oder

He said that he didn't had time to do his homework.

...zur Frage

Speaking Test - 10 Klasse - Part 1

Hallo. Ich habe in ein paar Wochen den Speaking Test als Abschlussprüfung. Da wir es im Unterreicht nicht durchnehmen, habe ich versucht den ersten Part einmmal aufzuschreiben. Also da muss man miteinander reden und sich fragen stellen. Könnt ihr mir bitte sagen was an dem schlecht ist und welche Fragen ich noch mit einbringen könnt? Dankeschön<3

Hello, I'm Krissi. What's your name?

Hi, my name is Emma and I'm 16. How old are you?

I'm 16 years old, too. Where do you come from?

I live in xxxxx near xxxxxx and you?

I come from xxxxx it's near xxxxx, too.

What's about your family, Emma? Have you got any brothers or sisters?

Yes, I have got a 20 year old brother called Tim, he works as a bank clerk. And what about your siblings?

I have two sisters. Johanna is only 6, she goes to nursey school. Theresa is 12 years old and she is still anttending school. And what about your parents jobs?

My mum works as a teacher and my dad as a drafsman. And your parents?

Only my dad has got a job. He works as a diploma engineer. What do you do in your sparetime? Have you got any hobbies?

Yes, every Thursday and Friday I go swimming and I also like to listen to musik. And what do you do in your freetime?

I play tree times a week fistball and on weekends I spent my time in sports, too. But I also like to read books to realax me.

In which club are you?

I play fistball in the xxxxx. Whats your favourit musik?

Oh I like Rihanna very much and you?

Rihanna is great but in my opinion is Sam Smith a little bit better. What do you do after school?

I'm going to do a training as an office clerk and what about you?

I will go to a technical secondary school in the math class.

How was your last summer holyday?

I spent my last summer holyday in Bibione in Italy. I do a lot of sports like kayaking, beach volleyball, archery and so on. And what about your last summer vacation? .......

...zur Frage

Schule Englisch? Text? Ist das so richtig? Habe ich fehler?

Homework English

I have got problems with my parents too. I m not allowed to do anything. My mum and my dad are strict. My parents doesnt give me my mobile phone because I had a badly i the english test. I am not allowed to play with any technical things.

I thing it us really unfair. I have to go bed at 9 clock and dont watch tv after 9 clock.

Its really uncool dont like it.

...zur Frage

Ubersetzung Deutsch-English?

Hi

I am Mike and i am living in England. I try to learn currently some German and i hope i can get some help here.

How can i tell in German "My best childmemories have to do with this place ." Meine beste errinerungen haben mit diesem platz zu tun? Can someone use the verb "tun" in this situation?

...zur Frage

Referat in Englisch. Was mache ich im Internet?

Hallo meine liebe Community, ich bin auf der suche nach einigen englisch Profis. Ich muss bald ein Refarat halten, über meine tätigkeiten im Internet. Daher habe ich einen Text geschrieben, denn ich auch Vrotragen möchte. Leider mache ich fehler und auch nicht wirklich wenige. Deshalb wollte ich fragen, ob mir jemand drüber schauen könnte und die fehler nennen könnte. Der Text soltle nicht so umfangreich sein, deshalb habe ich ihn auch kanpp geahlten ! :D (Nicht wunder über denn Aufbau des Textes, wir hatten eine kleine Vorlage die ich genutz habe.)

Hello ladies and gentelmans, mein name is xxxx xxxx and today I gonna talk about what I am doing on the internet. The most time I play video games like leuague of legends or I watch some Youtube videos. If I play video games, I never play alone, I always visit my friends to play with me. Sometimes when I am bored I check my emails or I chat with friends. To check my emails it takes arround 10-20 minutes. When I have to find some information for the school I use the internet, it´s pretty helpful! Usually I find all my information that I need but its quiet hard to get all information. Sometimes I have to spend a lot of time to find the right information. The website that I visit most are Wikipedia, Facebook, Youtube, Twitter, Devienar, and some others. I spend arround 2-4 hour online. In the weekends I spend a little bit more time online. No one says to me that I am to much online and I would say as well that I am not to much online. I prefer to use my mobilephone to watch videos on youtube and when I want to play online games I use my Computer. As an example, I was yersterday online and I searched arround 1 hour for my school work and after I finished that I have played for 2 hours an online game and then I have turn down my computer. Well that was what I had to say about my online processes. Thats everything that I do on the internet. Thank you that you listen to my presentation about the topic "What we/you are doing on the internet".

...zur Frage

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